ffs, looking at ptv page, the map takes up 75 of page, menu for planner is a small column on left, either I don’t know how to use the page or they fucked it up
Tonight’s wave!
At a really fast shutter spd. you can see it’s way less splashy than you think in person… it is blobby!:
This reminds me of those gorgeous photos of a single drop falling into a glass of milk and the rebound energy makes a perfect coronet around the edge of the impact zone.
That is absolutely gorgeous!
That is so cool.
Did someone here have a launtel internet referral code recently?
Carefully packed by room type and labeled boxes have devolved into throwing random items into shopping bags. So many sneeze fucking dust bunnies!
that’s my life next week
May the packing faeries descend upon you
Thank you. I’ve done the sorting already so packing should be easy.
Did you find any cat stashes? I expect to find lots of my missing hair ties and sea shells Bill stole under the fridge and sofa
I have found several small plastic dinosaurs and many many cedar balls, but am still missing about half the ping pong eyeballs. Possible Stash locations rapidly narrowing.
Family gathering on Sunday, no I just have those awful feelings of inadequacy again. I mask it up really well when I’m around them, but the anxiety of it builds in the lead up to the event.
tw - sa and abuse mentioned
This pervasive feeling of inadequacy builds up everytime I see them. My cousins all have good jobs and careers and buy their parents nice gifts for their birthdays and I just haven’t been able to do that for dad. Like, no wonder I feel like a fkn bum around them, and I feel like dad doesn’t care to reach out, I never have been successful enough to afford gifts or anything. I have always felt behind in life. I dread it so so much. I realise much of this is probably due to my own feelings about myself, but without any outside comfort from them, it’s hard to know if it’s just me or they really feel that way.
I also realise it might be due to my trauma, being “left behind”. I’ve had to play catch up financially and I’m still no where near where my cousins are. They haven’t dealt with a sexually abusive grandparent (mums dad, NOT my opa lol), a negligent paranoid schizophrenic mum, or 8 years of severe abuse from a partner. I gotta try to be nice to myself, but it just feels like none of them care. My aunt’s have kids (my cousin’s), my uncle is childfree, and dad just… Doesn’t reach out to me just to talk. And I isolate myself because I feel like the black sheep. I scared of being vulnerable and talking to them, because I’m so afraid of being rejected anyway.
Guess I just keep going to therapy and working on what I can, what I have the power to change. I just hate how all these feelings bubble up when a family gathering is coming up
Sorry everyone, I just, don’t have anyone else to vent to about this. Feel free to ignore :)
One thing I’ve learned is that you can go for two hours then bail. You don’t have to be the last to leave, you can even be the first. I’m the oldest and brokest of my cousins.
Ignore can function multiple directions. Hugs.
Mate, just don’t go. Look after you. You owe nobody anything. Hugs ❤️
I already said I’d go, but I’m seriously considering bailing. Thank you for validating that 💜💜
You don’t need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
You have no idea how much that shit sets you back in life. While other kids are building skills and confidence and networking you’re stuck in survival mode and start out at a massive disadvantage.
Look at it like this. If you’re not able to thrive to that level yet and unable to provide whatever it is that they want, is it really your fault? What did they give you? It was their job to build you up and since that didn’t happen they don’t reap the fruits.
I think they get what they gave. /shrug
I get it logically and intellectually, I’ve read books and studies about how the brain physically changes due to trauma and how much that sets back children, and ends up having a detrimental effect on the adults they grow up to be.
more tw
I remember telling my dad how much I wanted to get away from mum, and he didn’t do anything about it. I know why (she accused him of doing things to me he never did and I think he was afraid of her) but it still hurts so much. I almost can’t help but be jealous of my cousin’s relationship with him, how he was there for them when their dad walked out.
Maybe I remind my parents too much of each other and they don’t like me. Too much like mum for dad, too much like dad for mum. I didn’t choose to be here ffs and I’ve tried to remove myself too many times to count; but I guess the universe wants me here for some reason idfk
Yeah sorry, not criticising. Just reinforcing that you don’t owe them anything.
I know :) I promise I didn’t think you were criticising me!! 💜💜
All good!
I bet Spud gives them more time and care they ever gave her.
Agreed
You’re not behind, you 1) survived 2) are getting healthy and 3) are starting to thrive.
that’s a bigger accomplishment.
I agree.
spoiler
It’s really tough going through all the emotions and pain of getting out of bad relationship dynamics. I look at my sibs and some are happy with the way thing are, they are the abusers, and others are miserable. They are the victims. But none seem to make efforts to question or change . They seem more stable but stable as what?
I guess they just don’t see that, they’re the sort of people to bury their heads in the sand and don’t ask anything. Which I guess is their way of respecting my trauma, but I feel invisible.
And thank you, if feels like a massive accomplishment, and I’m proud of myself on a logical level. But it would be nice to have some family validate that for me to I guess.
I appreciate you understanding honestly and truly 💜💜💜
A lot of could just be…well how do you approach a subject like that? I don’ t mean just checking in saying “howya doing?” but even acknowledging the depth and breadth of something like that is just something a lot of people just can’t fucking handle or even begin to handle, so they get weird about it and decide pretending after the fact is a tactic. Which doesn’t fucking help, but at the same time, aggravatingly, you can’t fault them for not being able to handle it.
You are amazing and we all love and respect you so much. 😘😘😘
Thank you, I don’t mean to bring the thread down and trauma dump and shit. I do appreciate you listening to me and understanding, it means the world and more to me 💜💜💜
💜💜💜💜
Home. Deeply fried. I must stare mindlessly for a while
I got a slow blink from one of the strays!!!
Well that’s it, time to get the good gin out lol
What a day
Lotto ticket time lol
The squint of approval!
My life has now peaked lol
deleted by creator
talks shit about them behind their backs
My feelings on this is that you should always say things to people’s faces (or say only things you would to their face if need be) before talking shit behind backs. I know usually it’s not clear cut but still…
I worked with a dude who had a rude nickname for everyone in the office that he used behind their backs. Never learned what mine was but I’m sure there was one.
presidential material
Eugh I hate managers like that; they always say shit about everyone behind their backs.
I’d definitely look for another job and grey rock the shit out of that manager where possible!
I do enjoy classic rock 🤘
But grey rocking is the way to go. I was going to use that manager as a reference as they are always nice and helpful to me, but my perception of them has shifted a bit.
Pretty bleah fieldwork out west with awful dust, and the woooorst traffic. I think I need to make sure I leave that part of town by 3pm so I’m not stuck tearing my hair out on the M1 (even paying a princely $7+ to go through the tunnel is aggravating)
I feel so mad. I’d treat myself to a pizza but I’ve already had a takeaway spinach roll for breakfast and a servo sanga for lunch. No more reckless spending, it’s pasta with broccoli, celery, peas and vegan chorizo for dinner tonight (easy to make!)
Dishwasher people have contacted some service agent who’s then supposed to get in touch with me in 2-3 days. I don’t know how long I’ll be without a dishwasher for. Still disproportionately frustrated about it.
Grateful at least for chilled coconut water to calm down with…
E: after a buttload of garlic, I am sated
I reckon toll roads should have an SLA where if it takes over a certain length of time due to traffic or incident, you get a refund.
I’m just glad I don’t live in Sydney where toll roads are almost essential/unavoidable now unless you have an extra hour to spare.
Freezers almost cleaned out.
Will do the rest in 2 weeks.
Felt criminal but glad it’s done. Clean slate.
I will do better going forward with any luck.
Melbcat was following with her head and eyes while I scrabbled my hand back and forth! Staring and locked on. She can definitely see from a few meters away now.
She’s getting grumpy because I’m tuning the ukulele and she hates the sound. I tuned it the usual way but might see if I can change it to D tuning just to know how.
(I wish I had the money and commitment for a different instrument but this is purely for occasionally messing around with before giving up again. This is the best option for my budget and space!)
D tuning is fun.
You could also potentially get a capo? Kind of makes it tricky though with such a small number of frets, but I used to spend hours playing with a ukulele sized capo. Wouldn’t recommend getting a guitar sized one because it makes playing chords hard. I think I got one for around $5 from ebay.
Another cool thing to do is doing a ‘duet’ with another instrument. You can play chords and go onto YouTube and find a video of someone playing a different part of the song on a different instrument.
Possibilities are endless. Even if it doesn’t seem like it :)
Ah I might not spend any further money on it but thanks :)
I am very lazy and filling time while resting
saw a kick ass guy the other day, he had a spiderman suit on under his shorts and tee , no face mask tho
who does this ?
oh, and flailing kermit arms, I just signed the lease for the house by the beach 🙂 big exhale, it will be so nice there, like a holiday
and an easier and cleaner house to live in
Congrats!
AWESOME!! I had just moved walking distance to the beach just before COVID and it saved me. Never moving away! Sometimes you just need mama ocean.
Congratulatiooooons!!!
Congrats!!!
Wooo! 🏖️🐚
Yay! Cool times coming.
Congrats! ✨
Thank you. I need this. 🙂🌊🩴🦢🐧🌴
Nice one!
RESIGNATION IS DONE!
Catchya fucking later.
(I still have 4 weeks notice though lol)
Edit: the person I’ve been seeing is taking me out to dinner to celebrate. Absolute legend!
So good to hear! Congratulations! 🥳
FFFFFFFFFFFFFREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM
they actually want you to see out your notice?! Really?! I’d be politely pointing out that if a customer asks why your departing you wouldn’t be comfortable lying. That should solve that problem fairly quickly!
Dude the new manager still doesn’t know what my job is exactly, or what it entails lol
He’s asking me in my fucking resignation meeting about it 😂
And you’re right. That’s a good point. I’ll bring it up in the stand up tomorrow morning.
the owners must have noticed by now something is very wrong with how the company has been run
Apparently they’re cool with it.
It’s owned by venture capitalists. So they’re stripping it of staff ,and offloading all the work onto whoever is left.
They’re also telling staff to get as many projects signed off as soon as possible to make them look good to a buyer I presume.
venturevulture capitalistsFucking oath man
Yay!
Just don’t burn down your bridges just incase. I’ve seen some weird times where it’s come back to bite people.
Totally. I’ve been very professional and am preparing my handover notes over the coming weeks.
This whole thing is going to fuck over my favourite people at this place, so want to make it as easy as possible.
It’s such a shame but you come first!
I’m genuinely going to miss them, and hope to maintain contact with a couple of them. The representative of one of the clients I work with wants to go and get some drinks sometime before I leave. I thought that was pretty cool!
WOOOOO!!!
How’d they take it? It’s probably all old hat for them by this point.
I think they thought I was bluffing.
And the new manager seemed to be on the back foot during the meeting.
He kept asking me a bunch of questions about what my job is lol
He kept asking me a bunch of questions about what my job is lol
omg, that manager is just sooo incompetent
I’ll warm my hands on the dumpster fire this place has become lol
brutal
HELL YEAH!!
I was doing an annoying dance at Melbcat and I definitely think her vision is improving. Confusion… her head and eyes tracking movements… disappointment in her eyes… yeah she can see me! And from metres away.
Actual melbcat footage when you started dancing:
spoiler
That drop goes hard
Nah there was a little bit of judgement there. Which makes me so sure that she could actually see me
