There’s this absolute waste of an ejaculation that keeps pulling up to the stopped light near my place and revving his fartmobilw. One day i’m gonna greet him with a cinderblock

Broom broom! Look At Me! Broom broom! I’m A Big Boy! Shut the fuck up you twat its not gonna make your daddy love you

yeah I just wait until my sister upgrades her phone plan and gives me her old one XD.

Last phone I bought was literally a nokia 3310. It’s a phone. I don’t care. I get everyone’s hand me downs.

mine put in hard yards making sure that the couch doesn’t fly away. Misha even heroically throws herself bodily in the way to ensure the sun doesn’t bleach my dining table.

woooo tanks mounted and tested and despite rolling around the back yard empty for two friggin’ years no splits! now I have somewhere to stuff the water from the 300l down the side while I completely redo its overflow system

Multiple times. Illegal! Illegal!!!

It literally just uses a back door they deliberately left open because otherwise other corporate shitmonkeys won’t give them free advertising

Can’t wait until one of them garibaldis

I dragged 15kg of peelaway in a trolley home from the local paint store last week. Fuck hand carrying that shit 4km.

Become a Government informer.
Betray your family and friends.
Fabulous prizes to be won.

Weight makes you go faster

Leave it in a workplace fridge with a clear sticker saying “MIKES DO NOT TOUCH”

All it does is prove to the purchaser that the fuckers don’t trust the basic safety and fitness for use of their product. Spectacular self own.

You look at Jeff in that ep and tell me you wouldn’t and i’ll call you a filthy liar

The Danes, thanks to their habit to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many such frivolous devices. In this manner, they laid siege to the virtue of the married women, and persuaded the daughters even of the nobles to be their concubines.”

Nike dudes even starting to get the monk haircut.

Nah, they’re scrub fires, not tree

Yeah, they do that. One side tends to corrode more than the other, usually the face

Source: i own maaaanny hapennies

Last orange from my tree tonight. Numnumnum

nah. Make him ride a toddler’s push scooter. No more license. Only push scooters. Show everyone what a big boy he is

Ausgov: “Quick, Ban snapchat”

Or the circumference of your mum’s fat arse

You can fit 74 texases inside an Australian cattle station. They’re hilariously angry about it.