Weather forecast today (Melbourne CBD, 3000): min - 21°C, max - 41°C. 80% chance of no rain


Remember to slip slop slap and keep up with your water intake today! It’s a hot one!

  • omoikiri
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    6 days ago

    Mabel had her first groom today and they just sent me a Christmas photo of her. Look at her happy lil tongue 🥹

    In other news: I’m mad at how much work I have to do despite making it very clear to the universe that I was not planning on working this month.

  • PeelerSheila
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    6 days ago

    Miniest has decided to go to her class party tomorrow after previously telling me she wasn’t interested in going. That’s fine, except she has to bring a plate and I haven’t got anything. Rather than do a shop dash in the morning and spend a fortune on cakes or donuts or some crap, I’ve decided that seeing as how I’ve got the stuff to make choc chip cookies then I’ll do that. Yes, I am about to make choc chip cookies right now. Pray for mojo!

  • Gibsonhasafluffybutt
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    6 days ago

    I’ve decided im going to write 5 new songs in my 2 week break.

    The rules are:

    1. Must be able to be performed by myself

    2. Must use existing lyrics

    3. At the end of each day, what’s completed is the final song

    4. Must be ready to be performed by the 2nd week of Jan.

    May as well use the break to do something artistic.

  • TinyBreak
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    6 days ago

    been out to the shops.

    Snark/general bitchiness
    1. Mad respect to the mum who looked about 10 months pregnant juggling a 4 year old and a toddler in this heart! I struggle with 1 toddler.

    2. To the older couple waiting in line to do a passport: fuck right off. Your both obviously retired you dont have to do it at lunch time. More over the point your not gonna get it this side of 2024 so why leave it till late december? wish aus post had’ve said “sorry there is an entire queue of people trying to ship christmas presents, kindly piss off till january, or at least not doing peak hours!”

    3. to the lady having a bitch: Yes, lines suck. Yes its annoying that you had to come collect it. No I dont care that its medical weed. We’re all stuck here together so shut the f up!

    4. To the mum who named her kid Malibu. WHY? Did you not think how that was gonna sound when they are a 5 year old and not listening to you? “Malllllibuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu”. Its almost worse than that raefarty post on the other site a couple of weeks back.

    Love chrismas but it brings out the worst in some people I swear.

    • StudSpud The Starchy
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      6 days ago
      1. to the lady having a bitch: Yes, lines suck. Yes its annoying that you had to come collect it. No I dont care that its medical weed. We’re all stuck here together so shut the f up!

      😂😂😂 What is it with some people and medical cannabis? When I was still going to an indie MC pharmacy (they markup by 40% so I go to amcal instead now lol) there was a woman in there losing her fucking miiiiiiind about the availability of her particular flower script. Like, the po-po were called because she was making suuuuch a bloody ruckus. And of course, her car starts to get towed because it’s 4pm on Sydney Road on a weekday, and the tow trucks wait in the side streets for the hour to tick over and nab up everyone who doesn’t know 😂 so she’s losing her fucking mind, the po-po are on the way, and I had to tap her on the shoulder and go “um I think your car’s being towed”. She put Usain Bolt to shame with how fast she got outside and into the face of the tow truck driver.

      But it got her out of the shop, so the five other customers and myself could be served finally 😂

      Sorry for the wall of text, your point number 3 just reminded me of that silly memory 😂

      Also Xmas makes everyone stupid at the shops, plus the hot weather, people’s brains have fucking melted lol. I hate it so much.

      • TinyBreak
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        6 days ago

        yikes! Sounds almost like the same person TBH. telling everyone whats in her package. Wanted to be like “Love, no one cares. get out of the damn way!”

        • StudSpud The Starchy
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          Haha yep. Sorry for derailing, I just had forgotten that happened until I read your post lol! She was wild. I’ve seen her around since, so she’s at least local of Merri Bek Council lol

      • MeanElevator
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        6 days ago

        I’m super pro MC but some of the clientele are so stereotypical. The stuff is meant to chill you out.

        • dumblederp
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          6 days ago

          I’ve worked with so many pot heads who’re utter cunts when they’re dry.

          • MeanElevator
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            6 days ago

            I’m related (by marriage) to potheads that are super high strung when not stoned. I know that weed isn’t really physically addictive, but the psychological addiction in their case bad. Like bad, bad.

            • Force_majeure123
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              6 days ago

              It definitely causes some pretty bad physical withdrawal symptoms if you’re an all day every day smoker like I used to be. Sweating, agitation, inability to sleep, feeling very tense physically. It’s not pleasant at all.

          • StudSpud The Starchy
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            6 days ago

            God yes. They say it isn’t addictive, but it certainly is psychologically at least. And when some people go without, the withdrawal assholery is next level

          • melbaboutown
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            6 days ago

            This may actually explain some of the shit I get subjected to here (but not all of it)

        • StudSpud The Starchy
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          6 days ago

          Ikr! That’s how it works for me, chills me out so flashbacks are less intense and I can sleep at night lol. Means I can study, hang out with mates, engage with some hobbies, without feeling constantly exhausted and beaten.

          Then there’s some people who are just, such stereotypes. They lack the self awareness to see it too. Maybe they’re gaming the system, maybe not, but they’re just cunts no matter what.

      • SpinMeAround
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        6 days ago

        So funny when a memory like this gets unlocked!! That would have been fun to see - the bolting out the door part, that is!

      • SituationCake
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        6 days ago

        Hmm that would have been a real dilemma. Don’t tell her about the car and let karma do its thing, or rid yourself of her presence by telling her about it so she leaves the shop. I dunno, I may have just stuck it out and let the car get towed.

        • StudSpud The Starchy
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          6 days ago

          The car still got towed, it was pretty much on the truck by the time she got out there lol. They’re really quick!

    • Seagoon_
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      6 days ago

      I 💖🤣 Rae farty. Winner of the 2024 Tragedeigh award

      and I bet Malibu was named after the booze, not the place

      retirement? are we at the time yet when people can’t afford to retire?

      Miss Seagoon is already getting annoyed with melbs, already two fake delivery attempts since she’s been here

      • TinyBreak
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        6 days ago

        and I bet Malibu was named after the booze, not the place

        Oh god I didnt even think of that! “Mummy why am I called Malibu?” "Well one night I got loaded off the stuff and your daddy decided to sneak one in at the back of the houseparty before he drove home drunk. And THATS why I named your after booze.

    • SituationCake
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      6 days ago

      Malibu. I bet it’s actually MehLiebooyh. You know, to be special and unique.

    • MeanElevator
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      6 days ago

      Pensioners taking up valuable time and space are the bane of my existence. Yes we should cherish the elderly, but they should have some awareness.

      Malibu is a bad name. That is all.

      • Duenan
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        6 days ago

        One of the worst is when you’re behind them when doing grocery shopping.

        I got stuck at Aldi behind someone and by the time they had paid and sorted their stuff out, aisle next to me had been through an entire rotation or 2 of people at the cashier while were stuck with one elderly person.

        • MeanElevator
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          6 days ago

          Yeah Aldi is not the place to take your time at the register.

          At the same time, Aldi is 100% the place that you will encounter unnecessary delays.

          A while back at Woolies, going through the self checkout, the cashier was asking (mostly the older customers) if they’re paying cash or card, so they can be directed to the correct checkout. One older bloke waved her off and went to a card only one…but he was paying cash. The of course made it her problem (she was super patient and accommodating) and tried raising a bit of a stink.

          I ended up backing her up and telling him (loudly so everyone heard) that she’s only trying to help and he should probably listen so he won’t be holding up the rest of the shoppers.

          He was very sheepish after that, but would not look at me at all 😁

      • TinyBreak
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        6 days ago

        Yep! Buggers have got betwen 9-12 to get stuff done, and then again 2-5. Not in anyones way, no stress if you make a mistake or something. Like. WHY do it now during lunch time? just dumb.

        • MeanElevator
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          6 days ago

          I also love it when they hit the road at 7:45 am. I’m not saying they have nowhere to be, but maybe make those appointments a tad later if possible.

        • NathA
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          6 days ago

          I join their ranks in fewer than 20 years, hopefully. I’ll try to remember this when I have all that time. But I probably won’t. 😆

          • TinyBreak
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            6 days ago

            Its not an issue if your not pottering around. but if your struggling a bit, or if you wanna have a chat to the person its totally fine just please dont hold everyone else up.

            • NathA
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              6 days ago

              Oi I’m not pottering anywhere, yet!
              Just looking forward to the days when I can.

    • CEOofmyhouse56
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      6 days ago

      The oldies are alright but they do like to man handle the meat and discuss its potential in the supermarket. I prefer just to talk to it.

      Oooo you look good. Would you like to come home with me? Ok. Toss into trolley.

  • melbaboutown
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    6 days ago

    Ugh. I wondered, why was the water for the birds spilled again when I weighted it down this time?

    Review footage. Dero guy was staggering through, stopped and stared at the dish of water, then straight up slapped it onto the ground. Why has more than one of them done this? They actually turn out of their way to approach it and throw it down as hard as they can.

    I swear these dudes just go out of their way to be aggressive pieces of shit.

    Edit: He also seemed to be gesturing angrily at my house which is always a great sign /s

  • Gibsonhasafluffybutt
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    6 days ago

    My number 1 fan. Always comes and sits in her spot in the cupboard when I’m playing guitar.

  • Taleya
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    6 days ago

    24c in my house, and we were not only not using mains, we were still feeding 30kwh into the grid today. I want to fry every landlord that has never taken advantage of solar incentives.

  • CEOofmyhouse56
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    6 days ago

    We are in beautiful Timaru. Currently 10°c and raining.

    It’s all good though. We have a beach front room with a spa. We have food and beer. No need to go out again. PS. We also have the Aussie cricket. Living the life.

    Me: Look dear, we can have a spa and a beer together.

    Kid: Ew Yuck.

    • StudSpud The Starchy
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      6 days ago

      Hahahaha!

      That’s so cool! Love the view! What a fantastic holiday!

      Wish it was 10c here tho 😭

    • SpinMeAround
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      6 days ago

      Beach front room with a spa and no need to go out again sounds bloody perfect!! Enjoy!

      • CEOofmyhouse56
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        6 days ago

        Thanks. There’s a little train track below. I missed the first train that went passed. Tryna get a pic for Baku. Also my bedroom has the same view as the living room. Winning.

  • Bottom_racer
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    6 days ago

    Who’s winning the indoor temp comp?

    Put shoes on this time cause you guyz are pervs.

    • TinyBreak
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      6 days ago

      didnt wanna end up on wikifeet? I can understand that. you know lily alen makes more from her foot based only fans than she does from her music royalties? Sad really.

    • BakuOP
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      6 days ago

      I was gonna make the joke but decided it was maybe a bit too far so didn’t. Then everybody else did and got all the upvotes!

      Anyway I opened my door and maxed out my fan, so it’s dropped a couple degrees.

      screenshot

        • BakuOP
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          6 days ago

          Nothing specific, more of observational humour

  • Pilk
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    6 days ago

    Ran a quick errand before I strap myself to the toilet (bowel prep - iykyk) and there are so many monarch butterflies in the city! They must be loving this humid heat.

    • Taleya
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      6 days ago

      if you shit yourself into the nth dimension can you pick up Avenue5 s3 for me?

      • Pilk
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        6 days ago

        Sure, but I’m not paying for fifth-dimensional Foxtel, so they better have a torrent.

        • Taleya
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          6 days ago

          eww foxtel had it??

          (guess where I got it from)

  • Duenan
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    6 days ago

    Some days I feel so unappreciated at work, especially when I do things and put things in place to try and be more efficient at work and planning ahead to avoid disasters and more work.

    I should just shut up, work my hours and get out of here instead of constantly trying to improve things.

    • bacon
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      6 days ago

      Aye I have a friend like you. She cares about the quality but she is the only who one does. I keep telling her that’s not her job and not her pay grade, especially not when her supervisor doesn’t care. She is much happier now that she has resigned.

      • Duenan
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        It impacts me directly at times giving me more work than needed or the work I’ve done in the past gets totally invalided and makes me feel like I’ve wasted all that time doing things, especially if I was told to do it by my manager and they somehow forget that they told me to do it in the first place.

      • Seagoon_
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        6 days ago

        regarding quality, I have come to believe that most people just don’t see things the same, they don’t see quality or not quality

        they have to be told what to think , told what to like , and they ask to be told or like what they think is trendy to like!

    • StudSpud The Starchy
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      6 days ago

      Workplaces hate innovation - unless it can make more money.

      Workers who have better ways of doing things, are just causing trouble. /S

  • MeanElevator
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    6 days ago

    Neighbour is outside watering. I swear, I’m gonna find his corpse one day with the hose going.

    • TinyBreak
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      6 days ago

      I mean, if he is hitting himself with the hose I kind of understand it. But wouldnt you wait till the sun sets or at least it cools down? nothings is gonna stay damp for long in this heat.

      • MeanElevator
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        6 days ago

        I have decided to stop wondering why he does anything 😁