Welcome to the Melbourne Community Daily Discussion Thread.
Well after 12 years and a child, I am now no longer in a relationship. It is a weird, sad, haunting feeling but in a weird way kind of relieving that I know what is going on after so much uncertainty. We’ve agreed to split everything 50/50 and want the best for all of us involved. So that’s good.
But I am shit scared of being on my own. I basically went from living with my parents to living with her so I’ve never been on my own. I’m thinking up all these things and I see horror stories about renting or trying to buy and wondering if I earn enough. I already know I have to sacrifice things which is fine, I could do without them, but it’s still a scary future.
2023 truly sucks balls.
sorry to hear. it does sound like you’re both being decent and mature about it, which is small comfort but far more than many can say.
It is a small comfort and I am glad for it. Thank you.
Sorry to hear this, Dan. Sucks not to have a backup for the life admin, but this is a skill that can be learned. You may find that the solo life is just right for you and kid once you’ve learned how to do it. And the peeps here can be relied on to put in their two cents worth if asked.
Thank you :-) I’ve always appreciated your support.
Sorry to hear. Break up of long term relationship is one of the hardest life events. Good that things are amicable with partner. Life might be hard for a while but if the relationship wasn’t working it will also be a fresh start once the dust settles.
That’s basically it. Fresh start and we are being amicable about it so it won’t be as hard as it could be. Thank you.
I’m truly sorry Dan. I don’t know how old your child is but be mindful of unloading your anger or sadness about the divorce on them. It can can have long term effects.
Oh shit man I’m sorry you’re going through this. May your cloud have a silver lining 🙏
Thank you. Just gotta get through this year
I’m so sorry .
Thank you :)
Well, this sucks, and Im sorry. If you’re up for it, how about we take a different view on this? If you’re up for it. You’re absolutely entitled to wallow in misery of course!
spoiler
And end is always sad, but you know whats worse is staying in something when people are unhappy. Sounds like you guys were strong enough to call time, which is awesome cause a lot of people dont. They just stay and live out their lives in misery. And you cant go on to find someone whos gonna make you happy if your still in relationship where things aren’t working. Its gonna be a bit scary. And its at times gonna be tough. But your kiddo is gonna be better off with 2 happy parents. When you are ready, reframe it as a new beginning. This could be the start of a new you. A new life. You wont feel like it yet, but one day theres good odds on you looking back at the start of a new period of happiness in your life. And I hope you get to use this time to explore, find yourself and find what makes you happy.
Thank you. Your words resonate with me so much. It was a long time coming and I’ve been mentally preparing just those things. Trying to turn it into a positive. Trying to better myself as a person and a parent which is what I need to do.
It wont feel like it straight away, just rest knowing it probably will one day. TBH i think your first goal should be cutting yourself some slack. Its gonna be a big change, so be kind to yourself. Happiness is also gonna be a huge boost to you as a person and a parent. Sleep in every so often, enjoy some junk food, go for a walk instead of the gym ect.
Thank you for the advice. I will try to do that and try to busy myself in hobbies I’ve let go by for various reasons
I am sorry. Know you can do this.
Thank you :-)
Shit sorry, sending you good vibes and my love. My Mum and Dad broke up when I was 13, after the same amount of time together (i was an accident lol), but my Dad is doing great! You will too, it’ll take time, allow yourself to grieve, but things will feel better in time 💜💜
Thank you. I hope so. It might be just what we all need as well.
Today is looking to be a great day. I am not working. Weather is mostly sunny and 17. It’s pay day. New content is released for both my gardening and housing subjects today. And tomorrow is the installation of the split system. No Mondayitis in this household 🙂
9am appointment.
1:30pm appointment. A duck ton of money spent during these two.
Possible admin task in the afternoon.
Emotional support for friend in the evening.I should get up.
Oof, I hate when I have appointments on the same day but like hours a part. Especially since I don’t drive it’s like “uhh… how do I fill the time in between?”
phone games. more phone games. And I might (finally) clean.
Yoo can doo et Bacon! Bite et’s freekin’ head off!
🤤
🧃🧃🧃⚡
🥔⚡ I am not sure whether juice box is microwaveable and I do prefer cold juice
It’s the thought that counts 😔
you have provided the microwave. it’s much important.
Maybr the real microwave was the friends we made along the way
Potatoes are the friends we made along the way, and we’re all in this microwave together
i am wearing metals
Wait no what? I thought I was the potato! No, this can’t be true… Does that mean… that…
Sitting on a bench near a bus stop some guy sits a bit too close to me. Starts asking general questions. Then asks me if I know about Jesus. Told him I know Jesus didn’t harass women at bus stops. Asks me what I was reading. It was a book by Albert Schweitzer. He told me to burn it. Told him to stop harassing me and I just got up and walked away.
Absolute lunatic.
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I was stunned. I have never heard a person in real life say to burn books.
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that’s different
does anyone know who Schweitzer is nowadays? he was a xian theologian who won a Nobel Prize for developing an ethic of humanitarianism called Reverence for Life . If you’ve ever watched The Fifth Element that is the ethic. “good consists in maintaining, assisting and enhancing life, and to destroy, to harm or to hinder life is evil”
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I don’t think there is anything arbitrary about the evil of slavery or pedophilia.
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And emergency toilet paper. If needed, we started with the Murdoch section.
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Many years ago, was on the 64 tram and reading Religion and the Decline of Magic by Keith Thomas. An elderly gent in full hasidic dress opposite me leaned forward and told me I was going to Hell for reading such a book.
It’s actually about the counter-reformation and the decline of the witch cult (as imagined at the time).
I’m not sure elderly gent actually knew that - but must have seen the picture on the front with an alchemist’s laboratory as imagined by a 17th century artist. Lots of alembics and stuffed crocodiles and mystik diagrams on the floor and nekkid wimmen holding said alembics. All very symbolic. Gave him a death stare but didn’t say anything.Good job standing up for yourself.
That made me laugh. Brilliant.
Because what could he say. 😂
CW: Diet culture + medication
One of the things I hate about diet culture (amongst everything) is how there’s medication and people go “oh you can also lose weight!”. Like… it feels so gross. I was listening to my news thing with Google and I was listening to CNN and they were talking about Ozempic, and how America advertises medication on TV they played one of their ads and it’s like “this is for people with diabetes, but it can also help you lose weight!” and it’s like so gross. I feel like people with diabetes is trying to just survive the day and not worry about losing weight.
Similar to when I had my psychiatrist appointment to start taking Ritalin, and my psych is like “it’s great for adults because you can lose weight, usually for kids we have to watch them just in case, but for adults it’s great.” And I’m like sitting there, a fat person, just like… ugh. Felt so gross. Like, I just want to be able to make it through the day and get my tasks done, and not procrastinate, I don’t care if it makes me lose weight.
Our society has a very messed up view of weight. You get the same sorts of comments about being sick - someone is really sick and it causes them to use weight and you will have a ton of people piping up with “I could do with some of that” type comments. People with severe illnesses get comments about how great they look because they have lost weight.
The other ones that annoys me is that when talking about food we use “healthy” to mean low calorie, and we call a metabolism that uses lots of energy “efficient” (would you call your car efficient because it uses more fuel?). Yes obesity can be a problem, but thin is not inherently healthy, and losing weight can be a very bad medical sign.
The amount of positive comments I’ve got from certain people when I’ve been unintentionally losing weight over the last year from stress and inactivity and loss of appetite is really not cool. Nobody seems to believe me when I say it’s not a good sign and I am not healthy
hugs
Yes yes yes.
It frustrates me that I can do an hour of workout and eat greens and stuff, but yet people will see me as “unhealthy” yet my mate who can eat like 10 dim sims and 2 large chips from KFC but are still hungry. I love my mate, but it is just… wild, that skinny = healthy and fat = unhealthy. Like yes, of course, being fat isn’t always healthy. But you can be healthy at any size and you can be unhealthy at any size. It just makes me so mad and upset that to be considered “healthy” you need to be skinny.
The word diet gets me because that doesn’t mean restricted food it means your overall food in take.
I think it’s not so much the word itself which bothers me as that we push weight loss as an extreme, short-term endeavour which we do to become “healthy” and then stop. So when people think they need to lose weight they tend to go for extreme calorie reductions, meal replacement shakes, and a complete but short-term change in their eating. What people generally should be doing is making much smaller but permanent changes to their diet and lifestyle.
Which is probably when talking about myself I talk about “The Diet” somewhat tongue-in-cheek, because I am not really “dieting” in that regard, its really just a small part of a change towards a permanently healthier diet and lifestyle.
Yeah exactly. When I say my diet is a little out of whack lately I’m taking about my overall nutrition intake not a restricted “cant eat that” one diet.
Semiplegic tettany has the added benefit of making people shredded from constant barely controllable muscle spasm.
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A few years back I too lost about 15 kgs from being poor. I planned meals carefully, I read food stats on packets, ate sooo many carrots as they are cheaper than potat. So many eggs as meat is expensive. The last thing I was thinking of was the latest food fad espoused by media. I knew I was eating healthier than before. No junk and a better balance.
Husband did not like it even tho he lost weight too. For him healthy food has to be health food, nothing to do with nutrition, it’s a spiritual thing. I remember being very annoyed the times he would eat my dinner, grabbing my food before I served myself because he thinks he can eat as much as he wants, even more if it’s health food, cos more is better right?
I grew up eating healthy but modern media tells us traditional diet is bad, right?
You probably already know this but during ww2 peoples diets were healthier than ever before probably due to the fact that sugar and fats were limited due to rationing.
The types of fats that people were eating back then (animal fats) are not unhealthy.
Yes and no. Fat back then was often plentiful and cheap so a common meal for the poor was left over drippings and bread. What we know now of course is that there are good fats and not so good fats. A small amount of animal fat is good for us but not what they were eating.
I’d also disagree that drippings are not healthy! And imagine if now instead of bread and drippings you just have bread. Pretty sad state of affairs that would be
For all you people interested in “diet culture” and how society views weight, nutrition, health etc, I very strongly recommend the podcast “Maintenance Phase”
Thank you for that recommendation. I’ve just been reading some of the transcripts (which I’m happy to see they have, I’d rather read than listen) and it’s really interesting.
I LOVE Maintenance Phase. Highly recommend it. I also recommend Fad Camp, similar idea as Maintenance Phase but it’s Irish folks. They’ve covered some similar stuff but there’s some interesting stuff in it.
I hate the judgement people lump on us for not being some fucked up influencer / media ideal of beauty and that that pertains to health somehow.
That a psychiatrist passed judgement over your weight when he was treating a neurodivergence (I assume) I find fucking gross too honestly. “Here vunerable person, have my 2 cents worth about your appearance”
2 days just isnt enough of a break.
I feel that the whole M-F bullshit is the worst lie that we have accepted.
100%. You feel like you’ve just started relaxing and then bam. The Monday morning alarm clock.
username checks out
Bring on the 4 day work week for same pay!
Yep, definitely feeling this now since I work.
So my home town Mordialloc is in the news today following the 30-year sentence handed down to a 73 year-old who murdered two of his neighbours over a trivial garden hose incident 18 months ago. I walk past the scene every day and wondered why there was a TV crew setting up outside this afternoon.
Think I might have heard of this one. The number of Current Affairs episodes on neighbour disputes over fences and how feral people get absolutely blow my mind too. Crazy stuff.
That’s scary as.
My rule #1022. If you can’t park properly don’t drive big cars.
As someone who grew up driving 4x4s (and still drives them) this is also my take. Also if you are driving a big car, park at the back of the carpark, means the hatchbacks and the sedans don’t have to play chicken when reversing out.
Yes. I’m slowly creeping out of my park because I can’t see not because I want to waste everybody’s time.
I just close my eyes and floor it.
Hahaha. I think I’ve encountered you before.
Let Hay-Zeus take the wheel!
One of those, are you?
Damn the torpedoes!!
Shits me to tears! Probably an unpopular opinion to some but I think if you can afford to keep and maintain a 4x4 you should be able to keep a little beater for shop runs and driving round the burbs, no one needs a huge ute or a landcruiser to do the school or grocery run.
I don’t have a problem with people driving big cars but just fucking park properly in between the lines. Also don’t get up my arse when driving because otherwise I’m gonna leave an even bigger gap between me and the car in front. Like fucking huge.
Also want to add that parking in their lines instead of having their front or rear bar in my parking space just because I have a hatchback would be nice too.
Never know if they actually have bumped into my car or not.
I really hate shopping at my woolworths because it’s next to a Bunnings and it shares the same car park.
Well shit. I just called to make a doctors appointment only to be told that the doc I’ve seen for the last 13 years has retired. Feels like a relationship break-up in some ways, he knew everything about my ailments and mental health, he was easy to talk to. Now I have to start all over again with a stranger :(
That sucks 😞 I always feel like it wouldn’t hurt the practice to notify the dr’s patients. Same thing happened to Mr Peeler. It can be hard and daunting finding a Dr you connect with and who gets you.
I am SICK to freaking death of learning things from overhearing my wife on the phone! Is this a common thing or a just us issue?
You mean like… The radius of the earth… The breeding cycle of mice, that kind of thing? That would be cool
Probably more like I got a speeding fine, smashed the car, lost my job type knowledge.
“I’m pregnant.”
What are you learning about?
It happens fairly often for us. I’ve brought it up and the response has been, sorry but I thought you’d already know…
I got to pet a greyhound today <3 I love those kooky noodles so much! I definitely want a greyhound as my next doggo.
They’re great family doggos to have. If you are serious, look into the Greyhound Adoption Program, you can rescue rehabilitated racing ones and they are angels who just want to be loved 💜💜💜
A mate got one from GAP. Swears by 'em. He’s a good boy! (the doggo, the mate less so haha)
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They are really great dogs! Good for apartments too. They love a cuddle on the couch more than anything, and they’re super low maintenance. We’ve had our boy for almost 10 years now and it’s the best decision we ever made, he’s added so much love to our lives 🥰
Should not have let myself fall asleep at 8.30, it’s far to early to awake right now.
i went to the GP, got two cavities filled at the dentist, and joined a gym today
helth ✅
+4
[X] Adult
Im_an_adult.gif
My dinner
Image of mashed potato, corn on the cob, garlic sauteed spinach, steak with a runny egg on top.
We had a real life Marge the rains are 'ere moment when the juices from my corn travelled across the table and aimed for the man’s face. I burst out laughing so hard that some came out of my mouth. Then we all laughed while he wiped his face.
Dayum gurl 🔥
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I read your post and I feel it’s not our fault. It’s the foods fault.
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I’m making chilli for dinner (or rather, reheating leftovers) with a side of corn cob. Hope I can keep my juices to myself!
Do you always eat at the table? We’re slobs with a sofa and lap trays :)
Hahaha. Yeah we eat at the table but if the kid’s not here we eat in front of the telly like animals.
Looks so nice and neat. Hehe
I used to love eating cobs of corn with margarine all over it. Only thing I hated thought was getting it all stuck between my teeth.
Sounds and looks delicious!
My kid said the same thing so I told her it’s like giving birth. A lot of unpleasantness but it’s worth it in the end.
This is fantastic looking wow. I love when each food unit is seperate and independent. That sounds weird I know.
It might look neat but in reality I just dump stuff on a plate because I don’t care what it looks like.
Hey guys. All this talk about canned fish lately has prompted me find this recipe for yous.
MACKEREL KEDGEREE
1 tbsp olive oil
1 finely chopped onion
2 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp curry powder
1 cup brown rice cooked
100g peas
4 naturally smoked mackerel fillets
2 hard boiled eggsIn a large frying pan heat the oil and fry onions. Add the spices and fry for a couple of minutes. Add the rice, peas and fish. Cook over a low heat stirring continuously. Serve with the eggs.
Now I’ve cooked this heaps of times with white rice, microwave rice even potatoes. With canned and fresh fish as well. Don’t worry about exact quantities. Add your favourite fish and vegetables. Leave things out if you want. A quick and easy meal and it’s delicious.
Here's a pic
Image of Mackerel kedgeree of a cookbook.
I love kedgeree. This is always a winner. Could make it even more filling with lentils (closer to the original Indian inspiration, khichdi).
I like cooking the onions then adding the rice to the pot and cooking it with the spices and fish water/oil from the tin, so that it absorbs even more flavour (like a pilaf?), then adding the fish and fresh herbs right at the end. And drained/rinsed tinned brown lentils if I want. It still stays a relatively simple one pot meal.
Bloody oath. I’ve even made it with mince. I’ve also used the oil from the fish tin to fry the onion. Possibilities are endless.
I might try it with mince or herring/kippers and see how it goes.
Thanks for this!
If you’re gonna do it with mince cook the mince first then put it aside and add it with the rice. Cooked chicken goes particularly well in this.
Endless possibilities - all of which are so easy and cheap and delicious and not particularly unhealthy. It’s a ripper of a recipe and not hard on the stomach either I find.
Sounds -and looks- great!
Here’s the easiest recipe I know.
I chuck in some canned mackerel instead of salmon and use spaghetti instead of linguine. It’s so simple you could probably substitute pretty much anything. Chicken would probably go well instead of fish.
Surprisingly tasty for such a simple dish. I guess it’s mainly how nice is your olive oil XD. When I do a batch, I cook double size and freeze half, so I’ve got a lazy meal ready as well.
I do something like this all the time, but instead of chicken stock I’ll add a good splash of pasta water, and some lemon if I have it. I’m not even hungry but now I wanna make a big batch and pig out 🐷🤤
That’s a ripper. I’ve saved that. Thanks.
Fkn love kedgeree! Although my family’s version is extremely bastardised, we don’t boil the eggs we crack them over the rice and fish and scramble them through. Looks like a mushy paste but everyone in the family goes nuts for it, especially in winter.
Yummm. I’m going to try this one soon! (With white rice because brown rice sucks)
The only brown rice I like is microwave brown rice because all the hard work is taken out of cooking it. Aldi have these. Stuff cooking it.
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Totally agree. 9/10 I’ll cook rice in the rice cooker plus extra but sometimes I’ll use microwave rice.
Always makes me feel like I’ve got cement in my guts. Very unpleasant
