• 107 Posts
  • 1.7K Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 22nd, 2023
  • calhoon2005toMelbourne•*Permanently Deleted*
    12·
    9 days ago

    My partner has taken the kids camping for a few days, solo parenting. She has ADHD so she decided to take a vyvanse to help her focus for the camp setup. The photos coming through are like the ones you see at camping trade shows… Camper canvas is perfectly tight, awning is perfectly set, guy ropes same length and equidistant… So funny

  • calhoon2005toMelbourne•*Permanently Deleted*
    2·
    11 days ago

    Reminds me of another moth joke …

    A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

    The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

    And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on

  • calhoon2005toMelbourne•*Permanently Deleted*
    11·
    12 days ago

    So my dad’s got Parkinson’s and I thought I’d set up Assistive Access on his iPhone as he’s currently struggling to use the basic functions on his phone, eg. Messaging, email, phone etc… Man. It sucks absolute balls. Crashing randomly, scroll stuttering like it’s 2010…worst implementation of accessibility I’ve seen. If he had an Android I could just set up a custom launcher to do all this with no issue… daaaaaaaaaaaaaah

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