• just_kitten
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    12 days ago

    I bought 200g of olives to make with pasta.

    I got home and realised they were not pitted (they had been slit on the side - but seed still intact).

    30 minutes of drudgery later I know I will not make that mistake again.

  • Seagoon_OP
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    12 days ago

    Thank you everyone who replied to my query about puzzling fam behaviour.

    All your insights were so good and helped me understand so much.

    Thank you again. 😚😚😚

  • danwritesbooks
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    12 days ago

    It is a bit cliche, but I just bought myself a typewriter. I am ridiculously excited to get it.

      • TheWitchofThornbury
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        12 days ago

        I learned on one of those things, only it was a manual. Its amazing how strong your littlest finger gets after a bit. On the plus side, smashing the carriage return lever is such fun.

        • Catfish
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          12 days ago

          Love the carriage smash. And I managed to convince an elderly colleague to stop abusing the tab key by explaining how the slide things on the ruler are exactly the same on a computer!

    • tombruzzo
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      12 days ago

      I’ve always been interested in whether they make a difference. It has to feel like a middle ground between writing by hand and using the computer

      • TheWitchofThornbury
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        12 days ago

        Best of the best was the Selectric II - the best production typewriter ever. I got typing speeds in excess of 145 words per minute on one of those things with good accuracy. Mind you, copy typing legal briefs was an excellent way to train up my fingers. The actual keys were lovely - had a dip in the middle that really helped you not miss-hit it. No such thing as autocorrect, so fixing a mistake took a lot longer than getting it right the first time. Modern computer keyboards are nothing like as user friendly, so all the magic auto correct aids are needed to produce readable text. Actual speed I reckon is about the same as a modern computer keyboard. It’s finger dependent and brain dependent not mechanics dependent.

        • Catfish
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          12 days ago

          I can’t stand those near totally flat keyboards. I need keys that move for my typing brain to work right.

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          12 days ago

          I have never really used typewriters but the dip in the middle of the keys (also found on old keyboards and certain landline phones) is SO satisfying. I would sometimes just let all ten fingers sit in the dips for a while

      • danwritesbooks
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        12 days ago

        I don’t think it would be fast enough for writing a story (for me). But I hope to use it for smaller things. Give it a personal touch. Like thank you letters to schools.

        And award winning speeches…lol

        • tombruzzo
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          12 days ago

          It would be a cool flex to respond to something with a letter written on a typewriter.

          A typewriter might be good for all the extra writing you need to do around a story, like using it as a brain dump for history, character profiles, and settings. I feel like a typewriter being distraction free and forcing you to commit to what you’re writing would help you just get things down instead of faffing about with editing

  • underwatermagpies
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    12 days ago

    Any cat people have advice on how to feed a cat wearing a cone? Poor Tommy had a bleedy toe and he’s not allowed to lick it for three days.

    He’s currently walking into things and complaining, and looking sad.

    • StudSpud The Starchy
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      12 days ago

      A small plate raised up slightly should help cone-cat eat. You could also try hand feeding him (disposable gloves, for food safety and because cat food is gross).

      If possible, try and find a plate and something to place it on that is smaller than the diameter of his cone, so he can get to it. May not even need to raise it, just use a small, flat plate. But raising it up will help if he’s cone is large, he might not be able to reach it.

      Edit: you could also try something entirely different, such as a sock repurposed to fit his leg, so he can’t lick it, but wouldn’t need the cone. You could try securing it with a scrunchy. You could also attach the repurposed sock to a body suit (I made one out of the leg of my old leggings), sew the sock onto one of the holes for his leg, and that way no cone, and less likely to come off.

      You could also try vet wrap bandages, instead of a sock, it isn’t adhesive to fur, just itself, and you could again secure it with a scrunchy.

      I keep editing because now I’m going full mcgyver on this haha

    • Eagle
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      12 days ago

      If you get some coban tape (stretchy adhesive manage stuff) could you cover the paw so he can have some cone free time to eat? And some of those dine squeezy treats could work as a supplemental thing, you don’t want him to go off his food. You can also get a soft collar that can squish up when he bumps into things.

      • underwatermagpies
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        12 days ago

        Thanks! I’ll look into coban tape. Squeezy treats have already been administered!

        Apparently because it’s his front paw, a soft collar will be too easy for him to get around. But it’s only a couple of days, and he’s already happier.

    • melbaboutown
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      Poor Tommy :(

      Edit: I had the suggestion of a neck donut but since it’s his front paw and cats are stretchy… probably not

      The bandage idea is a good one but they have it off fast. A baby sock over that might mean the bandage lasts .5 seconds longer.

      Maybe he can take his cone off for 5 minutes for a supervised meal and it goes right back on before he can attend to his toe!

  • bull⚡
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    13 days ago

    I’ve finally installed a Lemmy app on the iPhone. Without an app I kept not coming here unless I was on a computer. I don’t know which one is the best so I picked mlem which looks pretty decent so far.

    Ding ding coming to you live from the 11 tram!

      • Eagle
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        12 days ago

        I use jerboa too. Sometimes it takes a bit to connect but that’s probably a mobile service issue rather than an app issue.

      • bull⚡
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        12 days ago

        I haven’t seen any ads on this one yet. Maybe they’re coming…

        • Sjmarf@lemmy.ml
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          12 days ago

          Mlem dev here - we do not and will never run ads, sell data or lock functionality behind a paywall :)

          • bull⚡
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            12 days ago

            Hello Mlem dev! Great work! The more I use your app the more I like it

    • Drusenija@lemmy.world
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      12 days ago

      Voyager is my Lemmy app of choice on iOS, it mimics Apollo’s layout which was my go to Reddit app. Hasn’t failed me yet!

  • Seagoon_OP
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    12 days ago

    ok, I need the collective wise mind of the dt to help explain this weird behaviour

    my MIL insists on visiting her sick son in hospital every single day, sick son, my BIL, has had terrible cardiac disease which required many months in hospital

    So MIL would visit every day. She’s not a caring person, If someone is sick she says, "I don’t like that you/they are sick. " She doesn’t do any actual tending. She is narcissistic , diagnosed.

    Her visits became a burden on the son and the doctors told her to stop coming as son needed undisturbed rest. She still went to visit.

    I just can’t figure what she got out of it. Why did she do it?

    She impeded his recuperation. Her visiting usually meant no one else could visit as visiting was restricted. She complained about going.

    If the goal was to make people think she was nice and caring it didn’t work.

    maybe she need reassurance from her son ( yes, that is fucked up )

    I am at a loss as to why she did it.

    • StudSpud The Starchy
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      12 days ago

      It’s narcissism, that’s it. It isn’t rational to us because we don’t place ourselves at the centre of everyone else’s universe.

      It is important to her that she feels she is right and doing good. Doing something she thinks she is supposed to, against Drs orders, means she gets to feel like a victim, a bullied mother being forced to stop seeing her sick son. She did it because she gets validation about the whole ordeal.

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        12 days ago

        against Drs orders, means she gets to feel like a victim, a bullied mother being forced to stop seeing her sick son.

        that never occurred to me

        I am such a naif

        I was thinking from the point of view of the patient

        She would really think she was being bullied/is a victim ? I am gobsmacked.

        • StudSpud The Starchy
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          12 days ago

          Yes, she gets to be the victim to all the people who only know her and not her family. That’s where the validation comes from because she can spin whatever story she wants, who is going to fact check?

    • just_kitten
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      12 days ago

      Echoing others’ remarks about narcissism. Some people have such a shallow perception of goodness that they feel they tick the Virtuous And Hardworking box through nakedly surface level actions. They cannot see how those actions might not actually be what the other person wanted. That’s not a consideration. That might as well be particle physics, sure it’s real and governs every aspect of our existence, but too much intricacy for day to day life

    • Bottom_racer
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      12 days ago

      Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance…

      Attention-Seeking Behavior…

      Lack of Empathy…

      Exploiting Others…

      Ticks a few NPD boxes there. Very rough on the BIL. Have a few in my fam and it’s basically hitting your head against a brick wall :( Feel for you guys, not easy.

      • Seagoon_OP
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        12 days ago

        Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance…

        So she is so important everyone must want her presence and she will bestow her presence on those she deems worthy ( or can exploit )

        Her visit is more important than anyone else’s. Does not matter to her other people couldn’t visit

        she know better than doctors or just doesn’t care

    • Gibsonhasafluffybutt
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      12 days ago

      My father was like this. It’s to keep up a charade maybe. Both for herself and anyone that asks.

      She can convince herself and others how much of a martyr she is. How much it impacts her to go everyday, but by God she goes anyway!

      You get the idea.

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        12 days ago

        She can convince herself

        yes, I got a strong sense of this

    • Catfish
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      12 days ago

      Surely BiL can ask for her to not be admitted? And Drs happily lie about things like not being eligible for organ donation if asked. Seems similar to me, no visitors (who are you) permitted

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        12 days ago

        BIL really did not have the physical or mental energy to ask for much of anything

        and I think the doctors didn’t want a fight as it would have been extremely stressful for BIL, and she would have fought if denied entry or was asked to leave

        that’s if her meek passive manipulation didn’t work

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        12 days ago

        It’s def important to her that people think she is spiritual.

        To her not being spiritual is an insult, so she calls other people not spiritual is she doesn’t like them/is angry.

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      12 days ago

      I am not wise but I’ll give this a crack.

      The Martyr - someone who tries to get sympathy from others when he or she has a problem or too much work, usually when that person caused the problem or chose to do the work himself or herself:

      I would bet my arse she has told EVERYONE how she must visit her son because nobody else has. Poor me.

      Secondly. She doesn’t want to miss out on anything that is said by doctors or staff.

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        12 days ago

        Yeah this is my vibe too. Sorry. That’s super shitty behaviour

      • Seagoon_OP
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        12 days ago

        I would bet my arse she has told EVERYONE how she must visit her son because nobody else has. Poor me.

        For sure.

        No one else could go because he was only allowed one short visit a day 😡 A few times I had to go to bring things but couldn’t actually visit.

        she never brought him anything he needed, that was still left up to other people

        Secondly. She doesn’t want to miss out on anything that is said by doctors or staff

        Agreed.

        And yet she ignored the doctors advice on what would be good for son.

        • CEOofmyhouse56
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          12 days ago

          I copy and pasted the description of what a Martyr is btw but everything else was mine. I’ve met a few martyrs in my time. They stand out like dog’s balls.

          How to deal with a martyr? You can’t because they won’t listen. They are more wiser than you.

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            12 days ago

            agree

            thing is she denies it was her choice

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                12 days ago

                I know I grumble, everyone I know does

                but we aren’t doing it for sympathy and none of us say poor me

                it’s a coping mechanism to grumble

                whereas a martyr is manipulating

                Is that right?

                • CEOofmyhouse56
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                  12 days ago

                  Kind of.

                  BIL is in hospital so the focus and sympathies are with him. She doesn’t want to miss out on anything so she becomes the Martyr. Look at me/us. Now feel sorry for me because my son is sick.

                  I think it’s more out of boredom (even though martyrs are ALWAYS busy). The manipulation is just a bonus.

        • just_kitten
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          12 days ago

          This reminds me so much of a selfish, childish uncle I have…

          ugh

          He gets very possessive of certain people in his life, and if they need care, it doesn’t matter that he’s not helping, or even actively making things worse… only HE gets to be there. HE must supervise and monitor interactions. If you are on the phone too long with one of his people you would hear him starting to demand their attention in the background, increasingly louder, cutting midway into sentences. Of course in the first instance when something bad happens to one of those certain people he makes it all about HIMSELF. Full dramatic breakdown and whimpering and redirecting attention to himself. He’s like 79

          Shockingly in the last 2-3 years has he improved to the point that I can visit my aunt and stay out late without him calling in increasingly short intervals after 6pm. And he is more restrained. It took a severe family tragedy, though. Plus realising how many people who formerly tolerated him were actively avoiding him.

          Some people are beyond any meaningful change though IMO.

    • TheWitchofThornbury
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      12 days ago

      Would like to think through this one in detail - does sound weird on first impressions. Will respond later.

    • Duenan
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      12 days ago

      Just for more context, has she been asked why she visits every day and what her answer to that is?

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        12 days ago

        Yes, she has been asked.

        She said she should, no reason given That’s all she said.

        When told the doctors said not to she just ignored what we said, just like how she ignored the doctors.

        I think it’s possible he was a captive audience.

        I don’t care , I’m just curious/puzzled.

    • SituationCake
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      I can tell from the answers who has suffered a narcissist in their life. It’s hard to get your head around, because their behaviour is so confounding to a normal person. The thing that finally clicked for me, is for every behaviour, you have to think how is this about the narcissist. It’s about no one else. They seek adoration, admiration, power, control, status, attention. Constantly. It’s never about you, it’s ALWAYS about them. They feel bitter inside if they don’t get these things. They seek to manipulate situations so they can satisfy their needs. ‘Woe is me’, ‘look how devoted I am’, ‘I’m the most important’ etc could all be motivators. And probably others, that I can’t get my brain to think of, because to a regular person it’s baffling that a person might do something detrimental to a seriously ill person, for their own glory and control. Has nothing to do with the BIL. He’s just a convenient tool. I am so sorry this person is in your life. It’s hard.

      • Seagoon_OP
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        12 days ago

        I have suffered terribly at the hands of narcissists and I still have so much trouble understanding what is going on. Still naive.

        You wrote “Constantly.” I think that is what I need to really remember, it’s 24 hours a day and every situation for them because it’s who they are, in a way they can’t help it.

        Every word, every action. They believe in nothing except themselves.

  • danwritesbooks
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    12 days ago

    Arts Tasmania have writing awards open for submissions and I submitted 3 stories (2 of my kids horror and one unpublished one). The likelihood of winning is slim, but I can’t help think about what winning might do for my bonafides. And then I start thinking about what I’d say as an acceptance speech.

    I’ve always had that habit of thinking about everything that could happen if things turn out as desired (rarely ever do). It’s something I wish I could do and then forget about until the time comes up.

    Does anyone else do this though? Plan for something and then get excited/think about the possibilities? I feel like I jinx myself by doing it.

    • TinyBreak
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      Does anyone else do this though? Plan for something and then get excited/think about the possibilities? I feel like I jinx myself by doing it.

      yes. very much so.

      Also we expect a call out in your acceptance speech. “and to the daily thread, who have always been there to support me” 🙃

    • SpinMeAround
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      First up: good luck!!! Put out positivity!!

      Second: yessss, I am a shocker for it. My bf casually mentioned it’d be fun for us to do some streaming last night and sure enough, I was then in the shower thinking about how fun it would be to be a streamer with, like, hundreds of people in chat and interacting and what we might do. Urg. It is great fun being a dreamer though, I wouldn’t change it!

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      I tend to be the opposite - I think of all the ways that whatever I’m doing is doomed to FAIL and all the possible consequences of that and how I’ll cope.

      Very rarely am I wrong.

      But that said, GOOD LUCK! Is there anywhere we can vote/help or is it purely based on judge’s decisions?

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      Of course I think about possibilities and get excited, that’s all about why I make decisions.

      Possibilities are part of the reasons behind making decisions.

      • danwritesbooks
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        I guess I mean really going in depth. Like if I won this, I can add it to my credentials. I will be [x award winner], and I can use it to boost myself. And then how if lucky someone will notice it and it will go big and viral and I become world famous.

        Rather than ‘it would be awesome if I won,’ and then forget about it.

  • wscholermann
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    12 days ago

    I guess it was only a matter of time before false spring was going to end and I’d be putting the heater back on.

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      12 days ago

      In true Melbourne fashion I was freezing in the morning, overheated on the drive home, now freezing again. Damned if I’ll switch the heater on though, I’m having a shower and retiring to bed instead!

  • Rusty Raven M
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    12 days ago

    I finally got the last document needed to complete my tax return today 🙂 It is now complete, submitted and I just have to wait for my return 💰

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    12 days ago

    Finished work and was absolutely exhausted when I came home.

    Had a wash and turned on the heater and fell asleep in bed for an hour and a half I think.

    Tuesdays are so full on. Thankfully tomorrow will be a lot less eventful at work and I can focus on some light manual labor so to speak.

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        I might do that tomorrow. Get a cheap bottle of pink moscato and chill on Thursday and Friday in front of the footy.

        Go cats!

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      Tuesdays are often my big day too. Although I must’ve stolen your energy today as I surprisingly actually had enough to whip up dinner, even roasted some fennel. Sorry about that, I’d share my dinner with you if I could!

      Good thing tomorrow lets you have some recovery time. It makes a difference knowing you have some breathing space after a big day.

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        12 days ago

        The main thing though is we both got through it!

        Now to think about some dinner as well and veg out for the rest of the night.

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          12 days ago

          Yep! I’m taking a cue from this cold weather and have already eaten, showered and just tucked myself in bed with a hot mug of rooibos and chill out music on the Bluetooth speaker. I hope you have a very restorative sleep tonight. It sure feels like luxury after 10 days of blowing around

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    12 days ago

    I am outside and I can just stand here without blowing away. I’m not even wearing concrete shoes. It’s quite nice. So quiet.

  • TinyBreak
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    12 days ago

    Oh this is almost too good to be true: scary shit

    verification

    If Nasa called you and said “We want to send you up, BUT we can only do it on a Boeing spacecraft” you’d say “No thanks!”

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      12 days ago

      It’s like the beginning of an Arthur C Clarke novel playing out in real life…

      • TinyBreak
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        12 days ago

        apparently its stopped doing it. But man i woulda sealed the hatch and used the arm to yeet that thing outta orbit faster than you can say 737 max 8.

  • Seagoon_OP
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    12 days ago

    😭😭😭 😡😡😡

    apple fucked up my music library, again, 😭😭😭

    all the live albums, anything not bought with apple , all the special releases, everything moved to cloud which I do not use

    fuck apple, so sick of them

    this is why we buy cds and vinyl

    I really am being a sook about this

    • dumblederp
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      12 days ago

      I’m an MP3 man. iPods and the iTunes requirement kept me outta the apple ecosystem.

    • Baku
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      12 days ago

      this is why we buy cds and vinyl

      Nah fam, this is why we have Navidrome and internet

      • Seagoon_OP
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        12 days ago

        have you ever moved country? if you change address they ( eg apple or amazon ) delete your library because of copyright

        they can’t delete a physical album

        I lost about 1000 albums

        ( i might do navidrome when i get new puters and stuff of my own, even then, so much of what we use is reliant on electricity supply 🤷‍♀️ )

        • Baku
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          12 days ago

          You have a valid point. Also, we’re one of those countries that treats piracy (or a lot of the time, even just digitising your existing physical media) as the ultimate crime against society. Since we also let border officer take backups of phones and computers, indefinitely storing them on their hard drives, and they’re allowed to demand passwords, and seize devices with no justification, I feel pretty sure your music would get seized at the border.

          But also, they act like they’re allowed to do whatever they want with no requirement to justify their actions, they’d probably seize CDs too just for shots and giggles

          • Seagoon_OP
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            12 days ago

            Since we also let border officer take backups of phones and computers, indefinitely storing them on their hard drives,

            so don’t carry your personal stuff

            buy a burner when you reach your destination

            and if it’s a work computer who gives a shit

          • bacon
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            12 days ago

            nah been through the border many times and they really only care about food

            • Baku
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              12 days ago

              They search about 5,000 phones a year. I value my privacy, and don’t appreciate people poking through my shit on a “you seem suspicious” basis. I understand that that’s basically customs entire job, but it feels different when it comes to computers and phones, particularly as they don’t even need grounds of suspicion - they can just decide they don’t like you and take your phone

              • Eevoltic@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                12 days ago

                It’s one of the many human rights we don’t care about in Australia. It’s targeted harassment and abuse of power.

                • Baku
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                  12 days ago

                  Absolutely. That’s a large part of the reason I want to move elsewhere. I love Australia, and am always thankful we don’t live in a war or terrorism torn country, and, generally, live well, but I don’t understand why we have such a “fuck the people” attitude when it comes to pretty much anything.

                  Goes far beyond border patrol demanding passwords to devices, and duplicating people’s data with no just cause, but that’s a rant for another day

        • bacon
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          12 days ago

          could they be still living in your computer somewhere? i have my itunes library intact but no longer in the music app

          • Seagoon_OP
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            12 days ago

            Imma have a look

            I opened itunes, all it has is a few old podcasts

            • bacon
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              12 days ago

              try searching the name of a song in your computer. might still be there. good luck!!!

        • tombruzzo
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          12 days ago

          All the music platforms are terrible. They try to push playlists and make you listen to music the way they want you to.

          I don’t want to go any further forward than queuing up albums in VLC player from an external harddrive

  • Gibsonhasafluffybutt
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    13 days ago

    Alright. Experiment: running to the gym at lunchtime. Will I end up feeling good, or fucked beyond recognition?

    I brought a towel so I can have a shower afterwards.

    Let’s see how it plays out.

  • Seagoon_OP
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    13 days ago

    Morning everyone. The birds are tweeting and the sun is up. 🐦🎶🌞