Thank you everyone for you encouragement, kind thoughts, and good vibes!
I 100% was catastrophising - it’s much easier than I thought 😭😂
I cannot thank you all enough, I will try to think of a way to pay you all back for every thing you have helped me with!!! 💜💜💜
Fuckin smashed it at work today.
Cheers 🍻
Cheers ears 🍺🍻
Literally just finished a Heineken lol
🍻
I’m swooning over the goon.
Should’ve started at noon.
But cutting concrete with an angle grinder
Coulda lost a finger.
I miss the days where I could justify a pinger.
Which brings us to the rave, Dead Ringer
😍😍😍
🍻
Good night
Just had a spew due to anxiety. Christ in a cream cheese sauce.
Actually stressed AF about these last two assessments, but it’s fine. I have an extension to Monday night, so I can go in to class today and smash them out over the weekend. I have this mighty fear I’m not good enough, that I wasted my money because I’m a terrible person. But I know it’s just my depression and fears.
Been trying that technique of “but what if I pass?” instead. But man, those depressive pathways are such an easy road ugh!
I don’t think I ask for much, but I would really appreciate some good vibes I think. 😭🙏🏼
What if you completely smash it like you have for other assignments? Don’t listen to your mean brain, you’re awesome, you’re in the right place, and this is just a step on the way to an amazing future for you.
☝️☝️☝️ A thousand times this ☝️☝️☝️
It sounds like you are doing great, so I’m sure you’ll be fine.
I find the opposite technique often works well for me - actually following the “what if I fail?” thoughts and working through the scenario realistically. Fears are often big and scary because we don’t really want to think about them, once we shine a light at them they shrink back to something realistic we can actually deal with. So for example if you fail the subject you would need to repeat it, which means it will take a bit longer to finish the course. Which would be a bit annoying, but a long way from the global “I’m not good enough” fears.
💓💓💪🏻⭐⭐
I feel this so much. You aren’t alone in these feelings. And you can do it. Breathe. Vent. Ground. You’re a star and you will get though.
I know it’s negative thoughts but you’re two assignments away from finishing. You’re closer to the end than the start and it sounds line you’ve been going well so far. Often these final assignments are easier because you’re more familiar with the material
Kitty buzzes your way 🐈⬛🐈
🙏
You can do it Spud!! Just two more left! I know they feel huge right now, but imagine the RELIEF and pride you will feel when they’re done!
Break it down into smol chunks and get cracking! Start with five minutes and chances are, you’ll end up doing more. Your mind is spewing you lots of bull about yourself in an attempt to protect you from this “threat”, but how about appraising it as a challenge? Like a mountain to climb or something slightly less huge and more fun sounding.
You are an amazing person and the animals you’ll be caring for are lucky they’ll have someone like you! 💜💜💜
You’ve done well from what I’ve seen. You need to have more belief in yourself.
I find sometimes it helps to just focus on what you need to do and finish so that you don’t get to thinking about the ifs and what happens.
Wishing you good luck with it all.
You can do it!
Went to look for my WWCC and in the process, I found my student ID cards from high school, my learner’s permit, cards from high school friends, a Qantas plane model I got for Christmas one year, and a mini whiteboard with a flowchart about anxious attachment. But no physical card.
Going to use the digital one.
Qantas plane in question.
you: “here comes the aeroplane”!
dog: “whatever”.
He’s such a “whatever” dog to the point where he might as well be a cat.
Unfortunately we missed sunrise and are about 11 hours from sunset
Love that stuff.
House in the middle of absolutely nowhere, away from everything and everyone, is my dream.
sometimes when driving down country roads you can see a big rose bush out in the middle of nowhere. The rose survived , the farmhouse and everything else has been gone for decades.
Lines of daffodils in the bush, once outlined a path to the creek from a hut long gone. Also fig trees and lemon trees where no such trees should grow.
Up at Trentham, right in the middle of the bush, there are a couple of very old cherry trees next to a hole in the ground that was once a dairy. Apparently they’re quite famous for being a once popular variety that grows nowhere else in the world now, as disease took its toll of all the other trees of that variety. They’ve been cloned since but the clones keep dying and these old trees are still thriving. Estimated age - about 1860s or thereabouts. By the way, their cherries are truly delicious. Big, fat and black with amber insides.ow wow, that’s awesome
Do you know the house?
I wish
OF COURSE!
Oh wow! I totally didn’t recognise it!
It doesn’t look particularly similar without the sun colours in the background. Tbf I wouldn’t have recognised it if I wasn’t actively hunting for it
Pretty sure the house was decrepit before sunrise. 😀
Had the meeting with HR today. Thankfully it was someone who I chat to casually about things and helped me with some personal matters.
Wanted a recount of what I had been through and all the steps taken and how the end result ended being what it was.
Wanted to know if I was supported and a number of other things that I’m failing to recount now.
Also chatted about my stress enlightened me to what I could use my personal leave on and will get back to me on the technicalities of when and what I can use it for but apparently she has the power to authorise some of the leave so I’m waiting to find out the details.
Also did my shopping, was pretty busy thanks to Black Friday sales.
Also I have acquired pizza! 🍕
Thought so. Two pizzas I hope ❤️
There is indeed 2 pizzas. One for today. One for tomorrow.
Winning!
Both meat lovers!
That’s huge relief that it sounded like a supportive conversation and not the usual antagonism/passive-aggressiveness people come to associate with HR. You absolutely deserve to use personal leave for situations like this, that’s great that they saw some sense there and let you use it.
I just came from talking to HR, There’s some reasoning that I’ll be able to use Carer’s leave for someone and also myself as well together.
Apparently I just have to let her know and I put in the leave and note who has approved it before hand, in this case HR and it goes straight through without the scrutiny of the usual channels.
fertility treatment stuff
bloody hell. Another bill from IVF. ~300 bucks for another 6 months to keep the embryos on ice. still havnt made a decision as to another kid, timing wise. I think we’re both open to it, but if we can do it ourselves and save the ~3k implantation costs that’d be ideal. But then, are you wasting time trying naturally? and therefore another 300 bucks in the process. its already been, what… 1200 bucks keeping them on ice since initially frozen.
Even if you were to fall pregnant tomorrow (not likely with us both coughing and spluttering like this) its another 9ish months before birth where you’d have to keep paying the storage costs.
(if you’ll forgive a joke here) My god, they get you cumming and going!
To the joke: Hahahaha. ✨
I like my manager, she’s this cute Greek mum that’s worked here for 20 years. I’m backfilling her role as she moves up into an acting position, so she’s done all the work I’m currently doing.
That’s why I don’t mind if I’m on a call with her where she’s trying to figure something out, you can tell she’s always trying her hardest.
Medical
Recovering from a colonoscopy and endoscopy within the last few days. (I spared you the details.) Unfortunately not many answers.
But a special ultrasound did show that my renal vein was being mildly pinched internally, which explains a very specific pain in my left kidney at particular times. (Unfortunately no answers yet around the most severe type of pain.) Annoyingly it wasn’t being crushed badly enough to qualify as nutcracker syndrome - I say annoyingly because there are both surgical and nonsurgical interventions to try and fix nutcracker syndrome. The milder version I think is called nutcracker phenomenon.
It’s good though because I’ve spent years without getting tests and being gaslit about the pain being psychosomatic (ie ‘all in my head’). Nope! There’s an actual visible physical issue! Right there on film. I literally had to change hospitals to get someone to take me seriously and even look.
I probably have a lot of tests ahead of me still for a long time so I’ll try not to vent or go on about it too much as they happen.
I’m just hoping to find something that can be helped. I’ll always be disabled but I really want to at least get back to my pre-pandemic level of health.
Vent/rant/ go on as much as you need! We’re here for you and Melbcat! Glad you’re starting to get some answers!
If there are any! The stuff going on with me tends to be rare and involve a lot of curly questions.
That’s brutal melbs, just looked it up. Nasty stuff! I’m very happy you’re getting some kind of answer for that pain, and I’m willing the universe to offer you more for your other ailments 💜💜
Sending you my love!
Thanks! I kinda wish I could go rub that proof in the other docs faces but I really cbf.
I was meant to do uni stuff today but I felt like crap in the morning, decided to unpack some more boxes and then went to pick up food in St Kilda - came back to have lunch with the intention of going to uni after but cripes… I need a lie down and a nap. I can’t go meet my friend for dinner otherwise. I’m just going to take it easy and hopefully start early tomorrow morning instead.
we keep going down and admiring the wonderfully new repointed garage. eeeee
Why did I think this said new repointed garbage?
I should wear my glasses :D
garbage needs love too
Yeah but pointy garbage leads to tetanus injections.
I don’t wanna work, I wanna look up hotels. Reminding myself that working means I can pay for said hotels. Gahhhhhhh.
Making sure that Teams dot is green is how you pay for hotels
Almost Friday. So, so close now.
Had iodine contrast this morning, and it did NOT make me feel like I’d pissed myself. I would request a refund if it wasn’t bulk billed, but I might just piss myself for real in protest.
Fuckin HATE that thing! and the shit they make you drink beforehand 🤮
Mine was IV but it did make everything taste like rusty metal for a bit after. Hoping to never need the drink version!
Take a yellow hanky and somebody might lie to you
I’ve got a few numbers in the rolodex I’d call on if that was the mood. 😏
😂😂😂
