Just asked my manager for a raise for the first time ever. They’ll get back to me soon 🍿

Holy crap just got a call from the company I’ve applied for a job at and have made it to first round interview. Got picked out 81 applicants as one of 10 for phone interviews, Somehow made it through the psychometric testing now just gotta make it through the first round interview. Hello imposter syndrome my old friend i wish i didn’t have to talk to you again.

Because I’m a VIP at the casino I’m staying in, they gave me a VIP line pass which I hadn’t used yet. I just came downstairs to get some breakfast and there was a line of around 8 or so people waiting to be seated. Then next to them was the empty VIP line.

You’ve never seen so much a smug swagger as me waltzing past the peasants and being seated immediately. They even called out that they have a VIP over their little radios.

I’ve made it, ma. This is the good life I said I’d find when I took off with nothing but my bindle on my shoulder and a dream in my heart all those years ago.

I’ve created a monster… after so long on tuna cat food Melbcat got bored but once the lamb came out she was obsessed. Kept asking for more food, to the point of having a little tantrum and leading me back to the kitchen. Twice. It’s like she’s got hollow legs.

I should have been strict and said that’s enough though. I want her to maintain chonk but she may have a tummy ache already from so much rich meat and will definitely be a bit constipated or sick tomorrow.

It’s the first of the month so I’ll be worming her too.

Taking all guesses as to why the cat is judging me this morning.

Thank you to the wonderful people here who gave me words of advice yesterday. I read it all and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside :)

While we’re brain dumping I just want to say: I got another snarky email from the boss this evening; it was a legitimate comment, but said in quite a condescending way that really is just laughable coming from a manager, not to mention incredibly hypocritical given how poorly they’ve handled things for months now.

And readers… Despite the exact text being exactly one of the worse things my brain has flagellated itself with for years, i.e. a nightmare come true, I actually, finally, DIDN’T spiral, or feel the need to distract myself.

I just rolled my eyes and pretty calmly kept on with what I was doing without missing a beat. And then I found a good break and am having dinner. And I still don’t feel a burgeoning anxiety - I feel calm, and confident, and safe, and relieved that most of this will be over soon. Because I am no longer trapped. ⛓ ⛏

Unrelated: Sox’s blood test results came back. Frustratingly, her results were borderline, but also highly suggestive of an ovarian remnant (>2x the usual level). It makes sense that it was borderline by the time she came back from the vet she was pretty much back to normal so it would’ve been at the end of the cycle. However, the options are extremely expensive… Surgery is like 2.5-3k 😿 and her owner is gonna struggle a lot to get that kind of money given how much he’s already spent on her. Right now her cycles are very inconsistent, so maybe he might just have to put up with her being an absolute pain for 2-3 weeks every year. And save up a contingency fund in case the cycles do become more regular.

Anyway, I just want to say FUCK YEAH I GUESSED RIGHT.

I just completed the first survey of the A2 milk study I am on. Lots of exciting questions about my digestive system, including one rating my last bowel movement. With pictures for reference. The things we do for free milk 🤣

4 different browser sessions, two seperate devices, five mobile apps. Ready to spot this “forever loading” bug that happens on Fridays.

Today hasn’t been the greatest of days. Found out that I might be doing my job search wrong, and the feeling of having done literally everything else wrong too is pervasive. Back to square one.

Been distracting myself with pictures of animals being cute in the meantime.

Writing petulant replies to ridiculous emails will never not amuse me.

Happy Spring everyone. 🌱

Shitty busy week coming to an end. I swear if some fuckwit at works irks me today there will be consequences and repercussions.

Non-violent ones of course, but the thoughts of violence will be strong.

Started a new exercise program this morning, a bikini abs one. While I have no desire to wear a bikini (I’m too lazy for the required landscaping) I am interested in toning a bit around that area. I’ve made visible gains since I started this whole exercise thing… my daughter told me this morning that my improvements looked “epic!” I feel so proud about that!

Super keen to hear Chaka Khan and Chic in concert. But I don’t want to pay. Anyone else keen to sit on a blanket outside the fence and just listen? We could also dance. We’ve all seen bands and light shows and those people are old. They’ll be amazing and it’s the jazz fest so I’m hoping it’s disco with jazz flair. Cos seriously chic although paying a shit ton of my bills over the years are done to death. Chaka Khan on the other hand could sing the fucking phone book and I’d be balling my eyes out at AB.

My apologies for ranting a lot this week. I have had serious doses of both misogyny and misgendering from people who really should be better recently and this place is my journal and vent. Still, I understand we don’t come here just to complain. I don’t want to offend men or sound like a basher, all the guys here are great. So again, I’m sorry if my misandry has made anyone feel isolated or frustrated. Its unfair to paint every man with the same brush and the last thing I should be doing here is creating any kind of tension or division. Because misandry is as bad as misogyny and we all should be looking at ways to reduce both. nuff said I think.

I just passed six months on hrt and did myself up really nice to go to dinner with a new friend last night. She couldn’t make it and I waited 45 minutes for her, drove for an hour between home and fitzroy and back and of course spent two hours prettying myself up for the affair. I still felt absolutely amazing anyway and she really needed to spend time securing a safe place to live. Gender euphoria is reported less than than all the bad stuff and bad press about having a gender incongruence, but it’s a completely beautiful natural high which can last moments or hours. Last night I didn’t want to go to bed as it was one of the times it kept giving. My physique is changing more rapidly now and it’s pretty fucking fun and so rewarding. thx for reading. Yesterday and today are real milestones in my journey.