Mickey says “zzzzz”

Really nice swim tonight. Didn’t hit too hard.

Also first open fire of the year:

Been waiting for this.

bliss.

Despite everything that’s happened, I miss my friend.

We’ve known each other about 5 years, and been through thick and thin. We referred to each other as family. I was there for him, and he was there for me.

It all turned to shit pretty quickly once he got together with a new partner. We went from chatting a couple of times a week on the phone, to radio silence.

And then all the spiteful stuff that came afterwards. ie: telling me to give up trying to get an IT gig, withdrawing his reference (knowing full well at the time that I’d be fucked without it) almost like he wants me to fail.

I’m hurt. Deeply. And I know his new partner has something to do with it. But at the end of the day, they are his choices.

There’s no coming back from what’s happened. The door is shut from my end.

And so life goes on. My ability to trust in people a little more shaken.

So I went to see friends last night, I always look forward to seeing the wife of the couple, she’s becoming a good friend and I hope I am a friend to her. The guy is a childhood friend of my husband.

And the guys grew up being the smartest person at school and they are both pretty successful in their sci or math respective fields.

here’s the thing, the men both treat me like an idiot, or should I say, they both expend quite a bit of energy to keep me in my place

and I really don’t give a shit,

but I noticed the guy treats his wife just as poorly as he treats me, worse since it’s all the time. At first I thought it was just explaining a difficult scientific subject but it’s everything she does.

She’s a highly educated and experienced lawyer who is fluent in 3 languages. She’s no idiot. And even if she was you don’t talk to people like that.

It just saddens me.

and doesn’t surprise me, rude men tend to hang with other rude men

all I can do is continue be a friend with her

You know the house is too cold when a shower makes your fingers & toes feel like they caught fire. Surprised the bathmat hasn’t grown moss. Must finish this mortgage paperwork and escape!

Wow. I decided I wanted to go to the shops and grab some choccy and it turned into a rollercoaster. Only 2 minutes longer to walk than catch PT so I decided may as well get the exercise in (one bad thing + 1 good thing cancel each other out, right? About 5 minutes in I realise that was a bad decision when I walk past a dude tagging up a wall, and the section with streetlights finished and I’m walking through dingey industrial alleyways while it’s pitch black (even if it was only 6:30). Get to the shops at 6:48 and the doors I tried to go in were locked “oh sorry, you’ll have to go to the other doors”. Ugh. Any guesses how long of a walk that is? 1.2km… 1.2km to get to the doors on the other side, rather than walking 200 metres inside…

Anyways I finally got there and one of the doors was locked, which I actually thought meant those doors were closed too, which made my heart sink. But nah, they just locked one of them. Get to Kmart and hear beeping and thudding, like the noise their roller doors might make (got there at 7:05 and they close at 8). But no, maintenance people were just doing work on scissor lifts out the front.

Coming home I decided I’d take the tram back, just because I didn’t want to walk back that dinky little dodgy arse alley way that 100% looks like it belongs in Chicago. So I walked about 5 minutes (out of 10) down this other dimly lit side street (but with houses rather than warehouses), and realised I’m going to miss my tram (tram was 6 minutes away, I was 5) so I picked up the pace and then google maps stopped showing me where the tram was, and I thought I’d missed it. But then a minute later I saw the tram lights and assumed it was my tram. But then when the tram was slowing down I realised I didn’t actually know whether I was on the right side or not, and if this was my tram (I’d checked tram tracker after my tram vanished and both sides had trams due at the same time)

I decided to just get on and figure it out later, worst case I’ll go the wrong way but probably end up somewhere that feels safer. It was my tram though, and now I’m back with chocolate! I got some of those freckle things and a cherry ripe, so it’s not all bad!

TL:DR the shops suck, google maps sucks, I suck, and the area my hotel is in sucks

Went to Missy Higgins at the Palais last night, probably one of the best gigs I’ve been to in the last 10 years. 13 year old me and 33 year old me were stoked.

My brain is mush. Reading in bed and early night I think.

Oh man, I’m going through it.

Melbcat is having a rough go of it, the cold has flared her arthritis but the nausea from antibiotics means she won’t eat her meals with her regular pain meds in.

She’s been having shots of both pain/anti nausea medication at the vet to break the cycle and I’m giving wafers/liquid meds orally every 12 hours at home. She’s now eaten a little bit twice and takes treats but is still refusing almost every wet meal.

Me, I’ve got some serious health stuff going on and am deeply pissed off about it

Still punching out chillies late june!

had to clear a metric fucktonne of oxalis (again) to find them heh.

I guess the great thing about these things being near the coast is there’s little frost.

Fried up some chicken, mixed it with the leftover savoury rice mix and made parcels out of it, some with flatbread and some with leftover pizza dough. Did more laundry, very nearly finished it too lol. Watched some wrestling with Elder minipeeler. He said he wants to be a pro wrestler when he grows up. I think he’s partly been inspired by how accessible, friendly and cool the guys at Lucha Fantastica are. I could picture him as a luchador in a travelling show, and I don’t know exactly how I feel about that. Not that it makes any difference, it’s his dream not mine. Miniest wants to be 10 different things and doesn’t know which thing to pick. I said why pick one? You can be an artist and a vet and a cake decorator and run an animal refuge and design gardens etc. Look at Leonardo da Vinci, he was lots of things.

i want to stay in bed but i need to pee what do

hey all 😀

I saw a friend’s possum that she feeds , it was so cuuute

I actually feel alive today. It’s a Christmas miracle. Might even give the floors a lick with the mop later for something exciting to do.

Today is United Nations Public Service Day, and International Widows Day