April Fool’s Day

  • bull⚡
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    2 months ago

    I’ll be 41 years old this month.

    I’d like to say I’ve lived a bit of a life. I’ve had and lost friends. I’ve found and lost love. I was even married for a little while. I was directionless career-wise coming out of high school but now I’m quite successful and am paid well for it. I’m moderately well-travelled. I’ve been to and seen a lot of places both domestic and abroad and not all of them were so nice… some were even outright sketchy.

    But today, on April 1st 2024 - I saw my very first bona fide, honest-to-god, ready for use, manky Glory Hole. A clearly frequented hole in the side of a toilet stall complete with some eager gent waiting on the other side.

    From now on my life has been split in two; before I saw a Glory Hole and after. I was so young in the before-times. So naive. So full of hope.

    • CEOofmyhouse56OP
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      52 months ago

      Oh no. I need to know if it’s local to me.

      • bull⚡
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        42 months ago

        Nah but I’m pretty sure Hannah Watts Park would have one if you’re hunting one down.

        This was at Yarraville Shopping Centre.

        • CEOofmyhouse56OP
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          72 months ago

          Yeah. The cars parked there at night ain’t playing on the swings.

    • @Seagoon_
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      52 months ago

      you wrote ready for use

      the mental image you evoked was that it was in use by one member of the public already

      just waiting on another member

      • bull⚡
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        72 months ago

        Seemed rude not to.

        spoiler

        Seriously though I actually did a big Nope-180 out of the stall and found another at the other end.

        • @Eagle
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          62 months ago

          Please clarify ‘the other end’…

          • bull⚡
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            42 months ago

            Other end of the row of stalls

            • @Eagle
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              32 months ago

              Oh thank goodness. I was slightly concerned for your… ahem… other end.

  • @Seagoon_
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    142 months ago

    Ted Cat just ran up to me and bit me. Not hard but still. 😡He’s angry at me for not giving him unlimited food like my husband did when I was sick with sciatica.

    • @Baku
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      72 months ago

      Does Ted look like a bear?

      • @Seagoon_
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        52 months ago

        Yes. He is a fluffy heckin chonker

    • Rusty Raven M
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      62 months ago

      Cat’s can’t pinch and punch so he’s just working with what he has.

      • @Seagoon_
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        2 months ago

        he definitely won that one, since no one had said it at home yet

    • @underwatermagpies
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      42 months ago

      Angry cats are so adorable. Not that that helps. What a naughty boy!

      • @Seagoon_
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        42 months ago

        Hiss eyes were as big as saucers

      • @Bottom_racer
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        12 months ago

        Kitty bloodlust.

        all of a sudden… bam… we’re no longer the apex predator.

      • @Seagoon_
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        32 months ago

        He would not care at all.

        One time he attacked Bill and then ate Bill’s food. I smacked Ted, just a soft smack, but he did not stop eating. I had to drag him away while he was hissing at me and then feed Bill in another room.

  • CEOofmyhouse56OP
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    122 months ago

    Woo hoo. The kid’s gone for a few days. Time to partay with a latte. 🎉

  • @Thornburywitch
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    112 months ago

    Pinch and a punch for the first of the month. No returns.

  • @bacon
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    102 months ago

    The body of Jesus has been found. He remains dead. Easter is cancelled. Today is no longer a public holiday. Off to work and school.

      • @bacon
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        72 months ago

        One of those eggs would have hatched to become Jesus 2.0. You’ve doomed us all.

          • @bacon
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            62 months ago

            So was Mary’s sister when she got pregnant with John

    • @melbaboutown
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      62 months ago

      Hmm… looking at the date today I’d say you’re facon

      • @just_kitten
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        52 months ago

        Incredible effort by bacon to go as far as renaming themselves!

        • @Eagle
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          42 months ago

          And here I am going ‘who is Tofu?’ My brain is fried.

          • CEOofmyhouse56OP
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            22 months ago

            You wake up expecting bacon but you end up with tofu 👎

            • @Eagle
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              22 months ago

              What a let down!

  • Aradina [She/They]
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    2 months ago

    Man, even the BOM getting in on April Fools with the storm forecast. Barely anything >:(

    Edit: I retract this comment and politely request my lights stop flickering

  • @melbaboutown
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    92 months ago

    I’m so understimulated but too exhausted to actually do anything… and my focus is shot

  • @Baku
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    2 months ago

    If there was anybody still trying to be optimistic and hold out hope that any of this paper crap that [major] companies do “for a sustainable future” is anything but a marketing ploy, on the page for the paper food wrapping stuff, you have to enter your age, and if you’re under a certain age, you’re literally refused access to the website.

    Why? Because the entire thing is just a marketing stunt, and there’s rules about marketing things to young children.

    As much as they make it sound like it’s their decision and their marketing code, it is genuinely a thing

  • @melbaboutown
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    92 months ago

    Listening to music and slowly putting away the craft stuff into bags. I figure I’m still pretty burned out on it and I can’t wash balls of wool or half made things - so getting them off the floor, out of the way, and sealing them up so any fleas die.

  • Rusty Raven M
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    92 months ago

    Well that got a bit intense. The rain got so heavy traffic slowed down to about walking speed and multiple people decided to just pull over and wait instead. I got totally drenched running the 5m from my car to my front door. I’ve changed into dry clothes and Miss Meow is now ensconsed on my lap purring. Mr Woof has forgiven me for the lack of a walk and is also on the couch for moral support.

    • @Cendana
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      2 months ago

      The rain intensified while we were already enroute thankfully. Wife was enjoying her time listening to the rain and cheering on the cars ahead of us as we all queued up to drive through a puddle at 25kmh lol.

    • @just_kitten
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      22 months ago

      I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the heaviest rain will have mostly cleared by 7am, when I need to walk to the carshare and then drive to work…

  • @ponte92
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    82 months ago

    So in general I don’t find studying plagues to be too depressing but today I am writing a thesis chapter that deals with some really heavy stuff that’s getting to me and I’m finding it hard to write. So if anyone knows any silly jokes please nows the time to post them!

    • @Bottom_racer
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      132 months ago

      What’s it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

      Plague-arism

      Sorry

      • @Eagle
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        72 months ago

        That is gold!

        • @bacon
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          62 months ago

          Why couldn’t alchemists make gold?

          They should’ve done it in AUstralia.

    • CEOofmyhouse56OP
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      82 months ago

      What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

      Rabbit farts.

    • PeelerSheila
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      2 months ago

      Q: What do you call a guy with a shovel in his head?

      A: Doug.

      Q: What do you call a guy without a shovel in his head?

      A: Douglas.

      Q: What do call a guy with a seagull on his head?

      A: Cliff.

      Q: What do you call a guy floating off the end of a pier?

      A: Bob.

      Q: What do you call a guy tied up in a bag of leaves?

      A: Russell.

      Q: What do you call a guy with a picture frame around his neck?

      A: Arty.

      Q: What do you call a guy with scoliosis?

      A: Archie.

      Q: What do you call a guy with 50 rabbits up his bum?

      A: Warren.

      • @Llabyrinthine
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        42 months ago

        Hahaha, I love these, although for us Russell was a guy in the bushes. 😂

    • StudSpud The Starchy
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      62 months ago

      What’s another name for a snail?

      Answer

      A booger with a crash helmet.

      (12yo me thought that was the funniest fking shit lol)

    • @Thornburywitch
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      82 months ago

      This reminds me of a work colleague, who had his passport issued on 1st April some years ago. Every single time he had to use it, it was questioned … He ended up obtaining a letter from Immigration confirming that the passport was the real deal. You’d think someone would have anticipated this and held up the application for one day, but nooooo.

      • @Baku
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        62 months ago

        I don’t really understand why. April 1st is a date just like all the others, and if your passport was fake, you would probably not be putting April fools day on it. I’d only be suspicious of the date if it was a public holiday

  • @Thornburywitch
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    2 months ago

    Well that hasn’t happened to me for a while. Just got home from a lunch engagement, and checked the washing on the line. ALL of it has brown streaks from the rain. The little rain we did get has clearly knocked some nasty stuff out of the air. Even the laundry basket had a puddle of brown water on the base. Currently re-washing everything that was on the line. Grrr. EDIT: just checked windy.com - Melbourne is currently in the gap between 2 big areas of rain. When the wind change comes, we is going to be drenched. Some nice little funderstorms building to the west.

    • @Seagoon_
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      32 months ago

      I like your optimism butI’m still going to the water the chili plants, they are looking dry.

  • @bacon
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    72 months ago

    i was about to express disappointment but radar shows more incoming

  • @Seagoon_
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    72 months ago

    recaptcha freaks me out with all the people riding motorcycles wearing light sandals and shorts, no gloves