• indisin
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    13 days ago

    Does anyone know how long you’re allowed to stretch out your turning 40 mid life crisis? I’m down to less than 23 hours until that awful meaningless day but still kinda wanna push it out a little longer.

    • Eagle
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      13 days ago

      Ummmm. I’ve just turned 45 and still in the midst… but I’m also embracing my inner Cat Lady. And I’ve just had 2 weeks off work, and can wholeheartedly agree that working sucks but I like stuff, and stuff costs money.

      • indisin
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        13 days ago

        I was just joshing and honest 45 is nothing. I’m jealous of your cats as they are amazing animals, just a shame I’m hospital level allergic to them so I’m happy that you’re living the life I wish I could have ❤️

        But am really sick of this whole money thing. Like why can’t we just all be generous friends?

    • Seagoon_OP
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      13 days ago

      you don’t need permission and other people don’t get to define your life

      do what ever you want and ignore what people say, they aren’t living your life

      • indisin
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        13 days ago

        I know, I was just being playful and I am very happy and enjoying my life. Many loves <3

    • Rusty Raven M
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      13 days ago

      I generally prefer to condense my mid life crises into a short but intense period of reading and planning. As I get a heads up from my older sister reaching significant milestones a few years before I do any crisis is over before the applicable birthdate.

      I don’t think I had much of a crisis at 40 though, it was more just a short-lived “gosh, when did I get so old!” feeling. 50 was much bigger and led to some major introspection and mapping out of life goals and plans. It probably took a couple of years to get through that. But I started early, so I’m pretty much done even though I have another year before I actually get to 50 myself.

      • makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml
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        13 days ago

        Agree. 40 was easy. Upcoming 50 is the real deal. 40 I was actually still good looking, fit, etc. 50, the aging is real. Introspection, reflecting, etc all been going on for some time.

        • Rusty Raven M
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          13 days ago

          I think there are two types of mid life crisis, which loosly correlate to 40 & 50 years (but are probably more influenced by life events than the actual age).

          The first is realising you’ve reached an age where you expected to achieve or have a bunch of things you want, and you might either realise that some goals are not going to happen, or might decide it’s time to go out and buy or do things you’ve been planning for “later”.

          But the second one is more confronting - you realise your body is starting to slow down, you have parents who are needing care or passing away, and you realise retirement is on the horizon rather than a far distant future. Some people use it this realisation to accept and plan for the future. That’s what I’ve been doing, I’ve worked out finances, plans for retirement, plans for caring for my parents and eventually plans for myself to wind down and move into supported accommodation or aged care. It’s surprisingly reasuring, instead of a scary void in the future I have realistic plans and know I have finances in place to have a decent retirment - if things go well there might even be some room for extravagence!

          Other people get scared at the second stage and choose to deny it instead. They fob off planning for old age with “when I get like that just take me out and shoot me” and refuse to concede to the reality of an aging body - these are the people who fall off ladders trying to clean the gutters, have nasty accidents because they refuse to stop driving, or fall over, break a hip and lie on the floor for hours becuse they refuse mobility aids and emergency alerts. If they have also YOLO’d the “kid’s inheritance” away without realising it was actually their own aged care funding they were spending they can end up in a pretty shitty place. It’s a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy - avoiding planning for aging because you are scared of it tend to create the sort of situations that make aging something to be scared of.

          • indisin
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            13 days ago

            I was just joshing mate but completely agreed. This is the third time I’ve been through this so I’ve learnt from my mistakes of the past and is why I’ll always tell you I’m 25 + number that adds up to my real age.

            I’m looking forward to 50 as I’m sure I’ll have everything figured out by then.

            It’s just super weird getting old and knowing my parents had me when they were like 15-18 years younger than me, and here I am living in a different country, traveling to others and still going to gigs.

    • PeelerSheila
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      13 days ago

      Can’t have a midlife crisis if you don’t know your own expiry date taps forehead wisely

      • indisin
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        13 days ago

        I like you and your attitude. Can I get your news letter?

      • indisin
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        13 days ago

        Well I still look and act like I’m 25 so you maybe onto something there ❤️

        Just wish I could end this whole having to work thing.

        • Llabyrinthine
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          13 days ago

          No matter which age, I think many of us wish we could.

          You do you! I’ve met some very interesting older adults. A woman whose hair was still naturally brown in her 70s, another one who was pretty vocal about still feeling 27 in her mind, men in their 70s that still ride motorcycles and so on.

          I’m in two minds about aging. They’re just my thoughts, but we’re in a time where elective treatments prolong life or at least QOL, that can be take for granted. OTOH, there are both modifiable risk factors and luck of the draw when it comes to aging.

          More than one way of doing things. I’ll probably age disgracefully any way. 😂

          • indisin
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            13 days ago

            I once met a couple in their 60/70s who were at a bands first ever gig, we were having a great chat and they hushed me when the band started playing. So much respect for that.

            Everyone’s journey in life is different and it doesn’t matter how you age it’s about the fun you have along the ride.

      • indisin
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        13 days ago

        Yeah, it’s turning out quite expensive. I’ve enjoyed the hols though!

          • indisin
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            13 days ago

            I met Mat from Mat’s Hot Shop at a festival. He’d lost his job and said fuck it and started selling hot sauce instead. What a legend. I’m really happy that your career change has worked out for you!

            Wish I could do the same but that tech money is too good :/ Someday maybe I’ll become a farmer like I want to be.

      • indisin
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        13 days ago

        You do you and live your life in whatever way you want to! I’ve always got you if you fall.