• Rusty Raven M
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    5 days ago

    I think there are two types of mid life crisis, which loosly correlate to 40 & 50 years (but are probably more influenced by life events than the actual age).

    The first is realising you’ve reached an age where you expected to achieve or have a bunch of things you want, and you might either realise that some goals are not going to happen, or might decide it’s time to go out and buy or do things you’ve been planning for “later”.

    But the second one is more confronting - you realise your body is starting to slow down, you have parents who are needing care or passing away, and you realise retirement is on the horizon rather than a far distant future. Some people use it this realisation to accept and plan for the future. That’s what I’ve been doing, I’ve worked out finances, plans for retirement, plans for caring for my parents and eventually plans for myself to wind down and move into supported accommodation or aged care. It’s surprisingly reasuring, instead of a scary void in the future I have realistic plans and know I have finances in place to have a decent retirment - if things go well there might even be some room for extravagence!

    Other people get scared at the second stage and choose to deny it instead. They fob off planning for old age with “when I get like that just take me out and shoot me” and refuse to concede to the reality of an aging body - these are the people who fall off ladders trying to clean the gutters, have nasty accidents because they refuse to stop driving, or fall over, break a hip and lie on the floor for hours becuse they refuse mobility aids and emergency alerts. If they have also YOLO’d the “kid’s inheritance” away without realising it was actually their own aged care funding they were spending they can end up in a pretty shitty place. It’s a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy - avoiding planning for aging because you are scared of it tend to create the sort of situations that make aging something to be scared of.

    • indisin
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      5 days ago

      I was just joshing mate but completely agreed. This is the third time I’ve been through this so I’ve learnt from my mistakes of the past and is why I’ll always tell you I’m 25 + number that adds up to my real age.

      I’m looking forward to 50 as I’m sure I’ll have everything figured out by then.

      It’s just super weird getting old and knowing my parents had me when they were like 15-18 years younger than me, and here I am living in a different country, traveling to others and still going to gigs.