I have a problem with overthinking about things and events that occur or may occur as a result of something.
It’s definitely one of the things that gives me a great amount of stress and anxiety.
I keep thinking about things and the possibilities and sometimes bad or unpleasant things that happen stay in my mind for quite awhile.
I don’t quite know how to handle those feelings and what I should do.
It’s been suggested that I just move past things and forget, or distract myself to take my mind off of things or I be more stubborn about my own feelings and harden up?
There’s been other things, like for example I followed all the steps and did things as soon as I realised or possible and I still get blamed for not doing it soon enough and copped some barbed words, I know it wasn’t my fault but still it bothers me. (That was what I was stressing about)
There’s possibly more to come in the future as the problem hasn’t come close to be resolved and I hope I don’t keep thinking about what might happen.
It took me so long to start thinking like this but my last boss woke me up to this fact. I have such infinitely better managers now and I could almost laugh at how hard I tried to please unreasonable people.
I think I used to be like that too. I would feel terribly puzzled as I objectively knew I was doing ok. It’s so hard to accept that other people might not be truthful and might even be mean. I think mean people rely on that.
And it’s not naivete when we are in situations where we should reasonably expect to trust people to be good, to think it’s naivete is blaming the victim. I wouldn’t trust a stranger but people I know or work with, then I should be able to.
The blame is on them for exploiting a work relationship.
What helps me with this specifically is saying “What if it all works out?” or the similar inverse of whatever your worry is. “I might fuck up my interview and say something dumb” becomes “What if we get on so well, they toss out their questions and we just start chatting like old friends?”
It’s not like 🕉️ woowoo positive ✨ mantras ✨and manifestation stuff. It’s literally tricking you brain to make good chemicals instead of bad ones.
Sounds like real event OCD. What’s worse is when you did do something objectively NQR, but you can’t move on from it and you spiral over the potential consequences.
I do get hung up about events that make me feel crap or if I treat someone badly but in some ways I make peace with it that I have a conscience and knowingly think about my actions and recognise what to treat and be treated appropriately.
I have a problem with overthinking about things and events that occur or may occur as a result of something.
It’s definitely one of the things that gives me a great amount of stress and anxiety.
I keep thinking about things and the possibilities and sometimes bad or unpleasant things that happen stay in my mind for quite awhile.
I don’t quite know how to handle those feelings and what I should do.
It’s been suggested that I just move past things and forget, or distract myself to take my mind off of things or I be more stubborn about my own feelings and harden up?
There’s been other things, like for example I followed all the steps and did things as soon as I realised or possible and I still get blamed for not doing it soon enough and copped some barbed words, I know it wasn’t my fault but still it bothers me. (That was what I was stressing about)
There’s possibly more to come in the future as the problem hasn’t come close to be resolved and I hope I don’t keep thinking about what might happen.
Apologies for the rant.
what would bother me is not my performance but the person blaming me , that’s where I would put my focus
a mature and nice person doesn’t blame others for events out their control
I know he’s an asshole but it doesn’t really make me feel any better about it sometimes.
same
+++++
It took me so long to start thinking like this but my last boss woke me up to this fact. I have such infinitely better managers now and I could almost laugh at how hard I tried to please unreasonable people.
I think I used to be like that too. I would feel terribly puzzled as I objectively knew I was doing ok. It’s so hard to accept that other people might not be truthful and might even be mean. I think mean people rely on that.
And it’s not naivete when we are in situations where we should reasonably expect to trust people to be good, to think it’s naivete is blaming the victim. I wouldn’t trust a stranger but people I know or work with, then I should be able to.
The blame is on them for exploiting a work relationship.
This is very human behaviour, totally normal.
What helps me with this specifically is saying “What if it all works out?” or the similar inverse of whatever your worry is. “I might fuck up my interview and say something dumb” becomes “What if we get on so well, they toss out their questions and we just start chatting like old friends?”
It’s not like 🕉️ woowoo positive ✨ mantras ✨and manifestation stuff. It’s literally tricking you brain to make good chemicals instead of bad ones.
For awhile I spent some time with just a movie on in the background and I was scrolling through some happy posts.
Then I distracted myself with some food and a few rounds of Balatro.
Looking for something else to do for a bit then I’ll head to bed.
I think it’s just a bunch of bad stuff happening lately all at once that’s making me feel overwhelmed.
Sounds like real event OCD. What’s worse is when you did do something objectively NQR, but you can’t move on from it and you spiral over the potential consequences.
It is a fresh hell.
https://calocd.com/2021/08/05/dealing-with-real-event-ocd/
Some aspects of it seems to describe me.
I do get hung up about events that make me feel crap or if I treat someone badly but in some ways I make peace with it that I have a conscience and knowingly think about my actions and recognise what to treat and be treated appropriately.