It took me so long to start thinking like this but my last boss woke me up to this fact. I have such infinitely better managers now and I could almost laugh at how hard I tried to please unreasonable people.
I think I used to be like that too. I would feel terribly puzzled as I objectively knew I was doing ok. It’s so hard to accept that other people might not be truthful and might even be mean. I think mean people rely on that.
And it’s not naivete when we are in situations where we should reasonably expect to trust people to be good, to think it’s naivete is blaming the victim. I wouldn’t trust a stranger but people I know or work with, then I should be able to.
The blame is on them for exploiting a work relationship.
what would bother me is not my performance but the person blaming me , that’s where I would put my focus
a mature and nice person doesn’t blame others for events out their control
+++++
It took me so long to start thinking like this but my last boss woke me up to this fact. I have such infinitely better managers now and I could almost laugh at how hard I tried to please unreasonable people.
I think I used to be like that too. I would feel terribly puzzled as I objectively knew I was doing ok. It’s so hard to accept that other people might not be truthful and might even be mean. I think mean people rely on that.
And it’s not naivete when we are in situations where we should reasonably expect to trust people to be good, to think it’s naivete is blaming the victim. I wouldn’t trust a stranger but people I know or work with, then I should be able to.
The blame is on them for exploiting a work relationship.
I know he’s an asshole but it doesn’t really make me feel any better about it sometimes.
same