• melbaboutown
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    1 month ago
    Tightarse grousing

    So pissed off with myself. I bought a Squishmallow a while back thinking it would cheer me up but all I can think of is how much it cost and I’m afraid to get it dirty. I could have sewn something myself from an open source pattern if I wanted something that bad.

    Same with the old secondhand tv. I hoped it would help to get dvds to watch but it’s awkwardly large for my space and I wouldn’t have had to pay if I’d been more careful and didn’t let my original tiny one get nicked.

    Also my energy bills are higher than they should be because disability leads to using a lot of hot water for pain management and a (low efficiency secondhand) dryer to reduce the exertion of tasks.

    Don’t get me started on the food deal…

    I’m managing ok still but am getting really irritated at the areas I’m not able to min-max. It feels so wasteful.

    • imoldgreeeg
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      1 month ago
      I know you know this logically but in case it helps to hear it from another voice -

      Enjoy the damn squishmallow. You are allowed little comforts. Little sources of pleasure and joy are as important for survival as security and health needs. No-one should struggle for any of them and it’s a disgrace on our species that anyone does.

      But do not let yourself be sucked into the myth of the “saintly poor”. You are allowed these things and you are amazing at making your resources stretch. Every now and then you have to try to let even that go just for a bit and let the warm water and the little comforts refill your cup. It’s actually necessary.

      Spoilered in case you don’t want any more comment.

      • melbaboutown
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        1 month ago

        Thanks. I’m just kind of in this mindset that every dollar I don’t spend on luxuries is another dollar I’ll have to withstand the next unexpected financial hit.

        • imoldgreeeg
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          1 month ago

          Yeah I get it. But you are resilient regardless. Hope the anxiety about it all gives you a break. 🫂

          • melbaboutown
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            1 month ago

            Thanks. It’s not even the money, everything else about my life is just bleeding into that as money = options

    • tombruzzo
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      1 month ago

      I remember reading when you got the squishmallow. The boys were given really nice super Mario plushes for their birthday last year and they’re almost so good you don’t want to do anything with them. Especially something plush where you don’t know how it will turn out after a trip through the washing machine.

      I hope you can find a way to enjoy it and make the most of the TV you have. It sucks when our plans don’t work out the way we intend

      • melbaboutown
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        1 month ago

        Thanks. I think I’m just not in a good frame of mind lately and am doing little anxiety spirals

          • melbaboutown
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            1 month ago

            A bit worried about mould while it’s drying. But I guess I’ve bought it now, might as well use it as a pillow before the cat gets hold of it XD

            • Taleya
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              1 month ago

              nah, just plonk it in front of a fan and you’ll be gold.

              We have a giant stuffed rabbit that Misha has claimed, it’s her biscuit rabbit and no one’s getting it back now lol

              • melbaboutown
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                1 month ago

                Oh they have Squishmallow pet beds… they don’t seem to be in Australia otherwise I’d be tempted. Very soft and squishy to support Melbcat’s sore old bones…

                If I can work out the fabric and get a pattern maybe she’d like that

                • Taleya
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                  1 month ago

                  Old and sore, but still a cat. The box it came in would get more use!

    • Taleya
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      1 month ago

      Nah fam. This is not a fault on your end. It’s a problem at a societal level.

      I totally get the micro management to claw back some feeling of control, but fuck the blame.

      • melbaboutown
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        1 month ago

        I know. Oh I am very critical of the societal factors.

        I’m just kind of trying to stay ready

    • Gibsonhasafluffybutt
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      1 month ago

      It sounds like you’re doing the absolute best that you can. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time at the moment ❤️