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  • StudSpud The Starchy
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    5 days ago

    So glad I never married my ex. They proposed just after HS, and I purchased the ring they picked out. $35 bucks.

    I burned it along with the lovebomb letters and keepsakes they’d given me, and threw it all in the trash, after we broke up.

    Now I live in an apartment, with my partner and cat. We drink and go out, we stay in and chill together. He hasn’t forced me into a shape to fit him. It’s liberating to find a person who gives you permission to be yourself, unapologetically. I don’t need a partner, but I found who I am because they encouraged me to do so.

    Just a little appreciation of the way my life changed.

    Now to pawn off the el cheapo gold and diamond necklace my ex gave me lol

    • tone212_
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      5 days ago

      I’m glad you someone who uplifts you like this, enriches your life, and you don’t have to be a shell of yourself. I hope to find the same!

      • StudSpud The Starchy
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        5 days ago

        A partner, I’ve learned, is someone who helps you be more “you”. I hope you find that someone too, we all deserve to have someone love us for being unapologetically us

      • StudSpud The Starchy
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        5 days ago

        Never quite got what that phrase meant until this relationship haha now it all makes sense!

      • StudSpud The Starchy
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        5 days ago

        I was an operations/billing consultant, 6 years in at an old job, and he was a temp in the call centre (where I had initially started). The works Xmas party was coming up, and because we (call centre, credit/payment plans, and billing/backend) were a small team, we didn’t feel it was fair to exclude the temps from the Xmas party. So we successfully lobbied to have them invited too, it was some ritzy expensive place near docklands. Anyway, my partner (obvs not at the time) and I hit it off that night and I spent the night at his place 👀😅

        Had to go home the next day to a very angry ex, as she was still living with me while her parents set up their bungalow for her 😂😂😂😂 once she moved out in the new year (2019), that temp needed a pkace to stay as his share house fell through. He never left. He was meant to go back to Perth and then onto Canada for a job there. But yeah, what was a temporary stay with a FWB has turned into a 5 year relationship hahahaha now we have a cat so I guess we’re serious LOL

        sorry for the long story haha! I just think it’s a funny story heh

    • Seagoon_
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      5 days ago

      so many hugs, so happy you found the right guy 💖

      one thing I don’t understand, it just doesn’t make sense, these people choose us for all our traits and personality and what we do, yet they try to crush that and stop us from doing those things

      • StudSpud The Starchy
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        5 days ago

        Ikr. In the case of my ex, I think they were always MTF trans, and before they realised, they took me and tried to force me into what they wanted to be themselves. Besides the actual sexual crimes they commited against me, I think that was theit reason for trying to make me more “feminine”. Their reason was they were helping me find my “girlhood” after my mum forced me to dress like a boy when I was a teen so men didn’t stare at me lol.

        One extreme to another gosh. Childhood trauma can really set up some nasty adult relationships. I’ve found a happy medium now dw my wardrobe has lovely sundresses, skirts, pants, and shirts haha