le daily thread :D

  • MeanElevator
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    1 year ago

    Knockout sleep. Woke up before alarm. Caught the early train to work. Made myself a coffee and ready to suck the day’s dick at work…and some fucknut comes in all chirpy and shit and greets me with ‘Happy Thursyay!!!’

    Sometimes violence is the anwer

    • Force_majeure122
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      1 year ago

      Sounds like you were only ready to suck the day’s dick, your mate already had it down their throat. You’re just jealous

      • MeanElevator
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        1 year ago

        I like to fellate the day on my own terms without some chucklefuck being overly exuberant at the prospect of being in the office.

        • anobium_punctatum
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          1 year ago

          Maybe they were just in a good mood and were just genuinely happy to see you?

    • WeatherproofMonkey
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      1 year ago

      I started a new job 3 weeks ago and discovered there’s a mothers club in the office. They all come in on the same day and started chatting loudly as soon as they walk in the door. Then non stop talking all day about their kids and anything else related to their kids 🙄🙄

      • MeanElevator
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        1 year ago

        Noise cancelling headphones are your friend. Worse I have is someone who’s laugh is like a hyena cackle.

        • WeatherproofMonkey
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          1 year ago

          Oh yeah, noise cancelling headphones is a must have!

          I think I can almost hear that hyena cackle like laugh now 😳……

          • MeanElevator
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            1 year ago

            I’m sure her name is Deborah, Janet or Margaret. Gotta be…no offence to any Debs, Jans or Margs present of course.

    • the_procrastinata
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      1 year ago

      Yes, how dare your colleagues try to remain positive and cheerful. Sounds awful.

      • MeanElevator
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        1 year ago

        I barely know this person, I just happened to be the only one in the office.

        And I’m sorry, but ‘Thursyay’?

        No thanks.

        • the_procrastinata
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          1 year ago

          I think there are some compromises most people in an office will make to keep things moving along smoothly and help to build camaraderie and cohesiveness. I’m sure if you can compromise yourself to think of this person trying to keep things positive, others will compromise for you too.

        • cuppaconcrete
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          1 year ago

          I’m imagining riding in your elevator and copping a “Level 3 and curb your enthusiasm sunshine” as I hop off lol

          • MeanElevator
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            1 year ago

            When someone tells me to ‘have a good day’ i sometimes reply with ‘don’t tell me what to do’

    • TinyBreak
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      1 year ago

      That’s just the day blowing its load early, even though it told you it’s cum outside your mouth. It’s testing to see if your devotion is real.

            • Taleya
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              1 year ago

              ohh this is going back like a decade and a half if not two, but Vice did an article where they got two people to use semen as a facial moisturiser for a month and post the results and the ongoing commentary day to day comparison was fuckin’ hilarious. The woman who already had a skincare routine is bitching about how shit it is and it’s causing her to break out while the guy who had no skincare regime is positively rapturous about it’s effects…which were probably being caused by the fact he was now regularly washing his mush.

              • MeanElevator
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                1 year ago

                Oh lord. I do recall that in one of the Jackass movies, the lads replaced (added to be bottle) Johnny Knox’s facial moisturiser with horse semen. After w few weeks they told him and he thought something was up cause his skin was getting a lot tighter than previously.

                Anyway…that’s probably enough of ejaculate talk for the day.