I’ve finally been able to disrespect one of those stupid cattle gate things at Coles. Apparently the robot didn’t like that after paying I put my groceries in my backpack. So I walked through them anyway. It started screaming the song of its people (“BE-BE-BE-BE-BE-BE-BEEP”), but that’s not my problem. I paid for my damn drink, I don’t really care if a robot gets upset about it
Nobody really cared, although the fact my skin is about the same colour as their logo probably helped 🤷🏼
Lol I hope the damn thing snaps in half. Luckily for my destructive side, they don’t instantly open by themselves. They make you stand there waiting for it to detect you as a person most of the time, so without it even accusing you of thievery you still get an opportunity to ram it
I’m a bit too scared to go that hard on them, Coles deffo strikes me as the sort of company to somehow get cops to track you don’t then try to sue you for the cost of the barrier (+ a 75% commission to the bosses mates who install them), so I think my game plan is to just gently but firmly nudge
That’s a good approach to take. Now I’m not going to tell you the secret, that they swing open with virtually no force required, because if you knew the secret you’ve just lost your honest plausible deniability regarding the amount of force it takes! Sorry CEO, no secretes for you.
These aren’t usually centre security at my store (I think they chill in an office and come if called) although the Coles at my former one hired their own security. My plan is to match their energy though. Not sure anyone remembers but a while ago I was at the coles at Melbourne Central and bought some cordial then realised I forgot to buy a bag after I’d already paid and the stupid thing didn’t give me a receipt (just my luck, the register I chose had no receipt paper). Security bloke saw me paying for a bag with a tub of ice cream on the side and snuck up behind me and jump scared me almost screaming “YOU DID BOT PAY FOE THAT ICE CREAM”. I know security people have a job to do, and a large part of their job is loss prevention, but after that I developed a bit of a personal policy that I won’t engage with people if they’re being disrespectful.
If they ask nicely, or at least demand respectfully that I show them my receipt, I’ll oblige. Otherwise they aren’t going to see it until they stop acting all above me
I’ve had a security guard (or Woolies employee) demand to check my bags. I said sure but they need to put everything back exactly as I had it. Exactly.
Shut them up real quick.
I’ve also had a security guard ask me to check my bags and I just said no, I’m on my way home. He was dumbfounded and stood there.
I always enjoyed ignoring the beeping of the alarms in Myers, and moved on to a casual refusal of bag checks when requested. Self empowerment is a wonderful thing 🤣
I’ve decided to match the staffs energy. If they ask to see my bag respectfully I don’t really want to be a dick about it, but I’ve had a door people that act like they’re in Coles’ secret service, or the Australian Federal Supermarket Police and I think those ones deserve it
I’ve always been respectful, but most bag checks are just a form of theatre designed to deter honest people from stealing and really just waste everyone’s time.
The last time I had a bag checked was at Customs, which was sort of fun because I got to go through all my souvenirs again. The customs officers were very friendly about it too, so the supermarket people must be channelling someone else if they are grumpy about it.
Pakey doesn’t have any of this shit yet. Thank god. I suspect cause they know how well it’ll go over with pakey. And it ain’t gonna stop the drugged up bogans anyway.
I actually sound a bit like a bogan sometimes, and when I’m wearing my outback style leather hat I look the part too. Maybe that’s why nobody cares what I do
I’ve finally been able to disrespect one of those stupid cattle gate things at Coles. Apparently the robot didn’t like that after paying I put my groceries in my backpack. So I walked through them anyway. It started screaming the song of its people (“BE-BE-BE-BE-BE-BE-BEEP”), but that’s not my problem. I paid for my damn drink, I don’t really care if a robot gets upset about it
Nobody really cared, although the fact my skin is about the same colour as their logo probably helped 🤷🏼
I’m waiting for the day I can ram my trolley into those gates just for fun. Whoops I didnt notice they had closed.
Lol I hope the damn thing snaps in half. Luckily for my destructive side, they don’t instantly open by themselves. They make you stand there waiting for it to detect you as a person most of the time, so without it even accusing you of thievery you still get an opportunity to ram it
I’m a bit too scared to go that hard on them, Coles deffo strikes me as the sort of company to somehow get cops to track you don’t then try to sue you for the cost of the barrier (+ a 75% commission to the bosses mates who install them), so I think my game plan is to just gently but firmly nudge
As soon as I’ve paid for my groceries and swung my trolley around, I’m going through open or not.
That’s a good approach to take. Now I’m not going to tell you the secret, that they swing open with virtually no force required, because if you knew the secret you’ve just lost your honest plausible deniability regarding the amount of force it takes! Sorry CEO, no secretes for you.
If you ram them, they open. Mall security might have an issue but I just said ‘Sorry, didn’t notice was on the phone’.
Showed them my receipt and kept walking.
These aren’t usually centre security at my store (I think they chill in an office and come if called) although the Coles at my former one hired their own security. My plan is to match their energy though. Not sure anyone remembers but a while ago I was at the coles at Melbourne Central and bought some cordial then realised I forgot to buy a bag after I’d already paid and the stupid thing didn’t give me a receipt (just my luck, the register I chose had no receipt paper). Security bloke saw me paying for a bag with a tub of ice cream on the side and snuck up behind me and jump scared me almost screaming “YOU DID BOT PAY FOE THAT ICE CREAM”. I know security people have a job to do, and a large part of their job is loss prevention, but after that I developed a bit of a personal policy that I won’t engage with people if they’re being disrespectful.
If they ask nicely, or at least demand respectfully that I show them my receipt, I’ll oblige. Otherwise they aren’t going to see it until they stop acting all above me
I’ve had a security guard (or Woolies employee) demand to check my bags. I said sure but they need to put everything back exactly as I had it. Exactly.
Shut them up real quick.
I’ve also had a security guard ask me to check my bags and I just said no, I’m on my way home. He was dumbfounded and stood there.
Tried and tested I see. Damn. I can guarantee the moment those touch me I will scream the loudest mother fucker they have ever heard.
If they close and you hit yourself with the trolley…could be a lawsuit
I’d be happy with free groceries.
You’re married to a Lebanese… Minimum 2 million settlement
I’m sure there a dozen cousins (at least) that will volunteer as witnesses and co-victims.
Oh for sure. Hahaha. All named Mohammed.
There’s for sure some Dannys there too.
I always enjoyed ignoring the beeping of the alarms in Myers, and moved on to a casual refusal of bag checks when requested. Self empowerment is a wonderful thing 🤣
I’ve decided to match the staffs energy. If they ask to see my bag respectfully I don’t really want to be a dick about it, but I’ve had a door people that act like they’re in Coles’ secret service, or the Australian Federal Supermarket Police and I think those ones deserve it
I’ve always been respectful, but most bag checks are just a form of theatre designed to deter honest people from stealing and really just waste everyone’s time.
The last time I had a bag checked was at Customs, which was sort of fun because I got to go through all my souvenirs again. The customs officers were very friendly about it too, so the supermarket people must be channelling someone else if they are grumpy about it.
Pakey doesn’t have any of this shit yet. Thank god. I suspect cause they know how well it’ll go over with pakey. And it ain’t gonna stop the drugged up bogans anyway.
I actually sound a bit like a bogan sometimes, and when I’m wearing my outback style leather hat I look the part too. Maybe that’s why nobody cares what I do