Pinch punch first day of the month no returns

  • CEOofmyhouse56OP
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    4 months ago

    I’m waiting for the day I can ram my trolley into those gates just for fun. Whoops I didnt notice they had closed.

    • Baku
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      4 months ago

      Lol I hope the damn thing snaps in half. Luckily for my destructive side, they don’t instantly open by themselves. They make you stand there waiting for it to detect you as a person most of the time, so without it even accusing you of thievery you still get an opportunity to ram it

      I’m a bit too scared to go that hard on them, Coles deffo strikes me as the sort of company to somehow get cops to track you don’t then try to sue you for the cost of the barrier (+ a 75% commission to the bosses mates who install them), so I think my game plan is to just gently but firmly nudge

      • CEOofmyhouse56OP
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        4 months ago

        As soon as I’ve paid for my groceries and swung my trolley around, I’m going through open or not.

        • Baku
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          4 months ago

          That’s a good approach to take. Now I’m not going to tell you the secret, that they swing open with virtually no force required, because if you knew the secret you’ve just lost your honest plausible deniability regarding the amount of force it takes! Sorry CEO, no secretes for you.

    • MeanElevator
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      4 months ago

      If you ram them, they open. Mall security might have an issue but I just said ‘Sorry, didn’t notice was on the phone’.

      Showed them my receipt and kept walking.

      • Baku
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        4 months ago

        These aren’t usually centre security at my store (I think they chill in an office and come if called) although the Coles at my former one hired their own security. My plan is to match their energy though. Not sure anyone remembers but a while ago I was at the coles at Melbourne Central and bought some cordial then realised I forgot to buy a bag after I’d already paid and the stupid thing didn’t give me a receipt (just my luck, the register I chose had no receipt paper). Security bloke saw me paying for a bag with a tub of ice cream on the side and snuck up behind me and jump scared me almost screaming “YOU DID BOT PAY FOE THAT ICE CREAM”. I know security people have a job to do, and a large part of their job is loss prevention, but after that I developed a bit of a personal policy that I won’t engage with people if they’re being disrespectful.

        If they ask nicely, or at least demand respectfully that I show them my receipt, I’ll oblige. Otherwise they aren’t going to see it until they stop acting all above me

        • MeanElevator
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          4 months ago

          I’ve had a security guard (or Woolies employee) demand to check my bags. I said sure but they need to put everything back exactly as I had it. Exactly.

          Shut them up real quick.

          I’ve also had a security guard ask me to check my bags and I just said no, I’m on my way home. He was dumbfounded and stood there.

      • CEOofmyhouse56OP
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        4 months ago

        Tried and tested I see. Damn. I can guarantee the moment those touch me I will scream the loudest mother fucker they have ever heard.

        • MeanElevator
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          4 months ago

          If they close and you hit yourself with the trolley…could be a lawsuit

            • MeanElevator
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              4 months ago

              You’re married to a Lebanese… Minimum 2 million settlement

              I’m sure there a dozen cousins (at least) that will volunteer as witnesses and co-victims.