Ended up cooking dinner for everyone, bro had a go (so I had a go back naturally), so left mine in the fridge and went to the beach lol.
Highlight was getting dumped by a wave and doing my shoulder hitting the seabed. Nothing like a few endorphins followed by some wine on an empty beach. It was actually very calming heh.
Hottest take from the night was that I need to get vaccinated (whooping etc.) if I / p’s want to see his baby due in May. Problem is I’m up to date and he was/is anti-covid / flu vax. Basically threatening the parents that if I’m not vaxxed (not them) they won’t be seeing their future grandkid. Fucking wild. Making me out to be a risk to their unborn kiddo is fucked and classic acute NPD manipulation.
I am not at all attempting to undercut your experience here (your bro is being a dick 100%). Wanted to clarify that whopping cough is a different vax to standard flus. I didn’t know that until I needed to go get one to see a mate’s bubba.
I think it was just an attempt by bro to assert himself in front of p’s. Happened many times before. It makes no difference here as all the fam has had their boosters recently (funnily enough except for bro, had to leave the room when I heard that).
I just wanted to say that I’m NC with my brother, he’s blocked on everything and has zero way to contact me or find me. I might get a message from a relative if he dies, but they all know the NC and understand.
Sometimes you just need to look after yourself.
They’ve got you going there, tolerating bro, and doing cooking labour in concern for her wellbeing. If she had reliable care from another source and you didn’t have to worry about her doing the chores in your absence you would have more of a choice to back out of the situation.
Your dad could deal with bro and bro could have fun doing the cooking for him
Ps. Sorry if that sounded judgy at all. And it’s not my business. I’m just saying that they’re kind of weaponising guilt and your natural care for your mum to keep you toeing the line. It’s a pretty nasty form of emotional blackmail in itself
Well done you on taking the high road and also for looking after yourself (hope the shoulder‘s ok). I’ve got some idea of how difficult these things can be to deal with so you have all my sympathy
Thanks to all for the words of support yesterday.
Ended up cooking dinner for everyone, bro had a go (so I had a go back naturally), so left mine in the fridge and went to the beach lol.
Highlight was getting dumped by a wave and doing my shoulder hitting the seabed. Nothing like a few endorphins followed by some wine on an empty beach. It was actually very calming heh.
Hottest take from the night was that I need to get vaccinated (whooping etc.) if I / p’s want to see his baby due in May. Problem is I’m up to date and he was/is anti-covid / flu vax. Basically threatening the parents that if I’m not vaxxed (not them) they won’t be seeing their future grandkid. Fucking wild. Making me out to be a risk to their unborn kiddo is fucked and classic acute NPD manipulation.
Anyway hopefully the cunt leaves soon.
I am not at all attempting to undercut your experience here (your bro is being a dick 100%). Wanted to clarify that whopping cough is a different vax to standard flus. I didn’t know that until I needed to go get one to see a mate’s bubba.
I think it was just an attempt by bro to assert himself in front of p’s. Happened many times before. It makes no difference here as all the fam has had their boosters recently (funnily enough except for bro, had to leave the room when I heard that).
That sounds pretty awful mate.
I just wanted to say that I’m NC with my brother, he’s blocked on everything and has zero way to contact me or find me. I might get a message from a relative if he dies, but they all know the NC and understand. Sometimes you just need to look after yourself.
I’m sorry to hear that. They say blood is thicker but if they’re an arsehole then that’s that.
I don’t understand why you’re so beholden to him.
If you’ve had a falling out with him I wouldn’t be paying him a visit to see him or his family let alone having a family meal with him.
It’s a tricky one. Family and all that. But yea I won’t be rushing over to theirs for dins.
You’re vaxxed but they’re saying you’re not? He’s not making sense.
Anyway I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this shitshow. And that your dad keeps cornering you into dealing with him/them.
The ultimatums and emotional blackmail are out of line - kiddo seems to be getting used as a weapon
Yea you’re spot on, it is absolutely emotional blackmail / unreasonable ultimatums. There’s no solution to this.
Their hold over you is your vulnerable mum.
They’ve got you going there, tolerating bro, and doing cooking labour in concern for her wellbeing. If she had reliable care from another source and you didn’t have to worry about her doing the chores in your absence you would have more of a choice to back out of the situation.
Your dad could deal with bro and bro could have fun doing the cooking for him
Ps. Sorry if that sounded judgy at all. And it’s not my business. I’m just saying that they’re kind of weaponising guilt and your natural care for your mum to keep you toeing the line. It’s a pretty nasty form of emotional blackmail in itself
Well done you on taking the high road and also for looking after yourself (hope the shoulder‘s ok). I’ve got some idea of how difficult these things can be to deal with so you have all my sympathy