For those who were following my comment yesterday about my boss trying to get me to fire another employee on her behalf I have good news. My boss listened to what I had to say and I managed to de-escalate the situation to a written warning. My boss was suprisingly reasonable about it, realised she was acting from emotion and thanked me for talking her down. That is not how i expected it to go at all. As someone who often struggles to speak up/stand up for myself I’m pretty proud of myself for once in my life. I’m going to hold off on looking for something else for the time being, but it’s made me realise i really need to get serious about having disaster savings Edit: Thanks to everyone who gave their advice yesterday. It was very much appreciated and helped me so much.
Boundary setting is so good. As someone who had none a year ago, I now have clearly defined ones and no problem being diplomatic when telling people they’re doing stuff which I find steps over them. It took practise, a traumatic event, therapy and deep personal honesty to get there though.
People either respect your boundaries or they’re not worth the effort imo. We don’t have to liked by everyone but people pleasing is hard to break out of as well. If someone doesn’t like me now, that’s fine. I know I’m valid and wholesome and for everyone, at the end of every day it’s just them and their pillow like almost everyone else. It’s easier to get to sleep when you didn’t let someone walk all over you because it causes resentment.
Yes boundaries are so important and it can be terrifying when you come from a background of abuse and trauma. You just always assume the worse. Realising that you can stand up for yourself by being calm, rational and diplomatic is like being able to breathe again after holding your breath under water. I’m so glad you’re at a place where you know your worth and your strength. I love seeing people empowered :)
That’s so great! Both for you and your colleague. Hopefully the written warning is enough to scare them into not doing whatever it was your boss was so strung out over. Good for you for handling it so well :)
Thanks a million for all of your advice. It helped get me on track to put it all together. You helped me help someone you don’t even know keep there job :) The interwebz can be a magnificent place.
For those who were following my comment yesterday about my boss trying to get me to fire another employee on her behalf I have good news. My boss listened to what I had to say and I managed to de-escalate the situation to a written warning. My boss was suprisingly reasonable about it, realised she was acting from emotion and thanked me for talking her down. That is not how i expected it to go at all. As someone who often struggles to speak up/stand up for myself I’m pretty proud of myself for once in my life. I’m going to hold off on looking for something else for the time being, but it’s made me realise i really need to get serious about having disaster savings Edit: Thanks to everyone who gave their advice yesterday. It was very much appreciated and helped me so much.
Great outcome all around, I’m so relieved to hear your boss saw reason but also very proud of you (as a total stranger…) for speaking up!!
Thank you! And thank you for your advice yesterday :)
Well done!
Boundary setting is so good. As someone who had none a year ago, I now have clearly defined ones and no problem being diplomatic when telling people they’re doing stuff which I find steps over them. It took practise, a traumatic event, therapy and deep personal honesty to get there though. People either respect your boundaries or they’re not worth the effort imo. We don’t have to liked by everyone but people pleasing is hard to break out of as well. If someone doesn’t like me now, that’s fine. I know I’m valid and wholesome and for everyone, at the end of every day it’s just them and their pillow like almost everyone else. It’s easier to get to sleep when you didn’t let someone walk all over you because it causes resentment.
Yes boundaries are so important and it can be terrifying when you come from a background of abuse and trauma. You just always assume the worse. Realising that you can stand up for yourself by being calm, rational and diplomatic is like being able to breathe again after holding your breath under water. I’m so glad you’re at a place where you know your worth and your strength. I love seeing people empowered :)
Wow. What a great turn around from what it could been.
Well done on the steps you took and also to all the people here who helped you make that decision.
You’ve done really well!
Thank you. Everyone here helped so much and put me on the right path. I can’t thank everyone enough :)
Good on you! That’s an excellent outcome for all concerned, well done!
Thank you :) I’m so glad it’s settled for now and things are back to being mostly harmonious.
Phew so glad to hear! I read your post and was so stressed for you!!
Thank you, yesterday was a very sweaty day for me despite the cold haha
That’s so great! Both for you and your colleague. Hopefully the written warning is enough to scare them into not doing whatever it was your boss was so strung out over. Good for you for handling it so well :)
Thanks a million for all of your advice. It helped get me on track to put it all together. You helped me help someone you don’t even know keep there job :) The interwebz can be a magnificent place.