Dude I’m so sorry.

If it’s any consolation those absences probably mean shit is hitting the fan for a few staff behind the scenes over this fiasco, and the power trips are just her pettily taking that out on you. Classic HR behaviour. But it really doesn’t help the lasting effect you’re experiencing.

Btw the rage is incredibly normal in the circumstances and along with the rest may be a symptom of ptsd. I’m really hoping one day you can get well away from these incompetent chucklefucks because what you’re going through is so difficult.

I’m wondering if (for now) you can jam a chair under the door handle for extra reinforcement or warning, put metal pots that would topple making noise, and keep an uncapped can of oven cleaner spray handy?

At least then it would be a more specific sound heralding trouble so you might feel less jumpy at smaller noises, and you would have something to grab if you felt threatened. Whatever helps.

Edit: Even just a firm door wedge or a temporary lock might be some protection, delay, or help alert you.

You can even improvise with a fork which isn’t perfect but is something that can be done fairly quickly short term to give some early warning.

Ps. I hope this unsolicited advice isn’t stressing you out worse or making you angry. It’s a bad habit of mine. Just hoping there might be some comfort or something workable in there.