Far out. Nooo. I’m so sorry you went from being sick on your trip to coming back to this guy…
Do you have a complaints process? From experience complaints tend to go into ‘the round file’ (ie. the bin) and I know this is a lot to put on you. But if you’re up to it try to put in complaints as often as you can for as long as you can stand getting the runaround.
Also whether you decide to complain or not (sometimes reporting leads to backlash) it it might be a smart move to buy a cheap A4 notebook and make a note of the times and dates of any incidents.
Guy swears at you or damages something or clogs the toilet? Write down a quick summary, time and date. Cops show up? What happened, time and date - plus cops names and their station if possible. Unnecessarily high bill from something he’s done? Time and date. Something of yours goes missing? You know what to do.
Documenting sucks and feels useless but it creates a paper trail demonstrating a pattern of behaviour that might get him kicked out sooner, lay the foundations for an IVO if one is ever needed (touch wood it isn’t), or may hopefully protect you from liability for something stupid he’s done. I am so sorry you’re having to deal with this especially at your young age.
Ps. Definitely get the lockable toolbox for out of sight under your bed and bike chain it to the frame. Grab yourself a lanyard to keep keys on you and lock your bedroom door even just to go to the toilet.
Also - you probably know this already, and may have already been doing this in the old place. But since this kid sounds like a problem it might be cautious to not leave your own personal toiletries in a shared bathroom in case they get used up, stolen or messed with. Maybe buy a wash bag or a beach bag to keep your own toiletries in, leave them in your room and carry to the bathroom as you need them.
A few generic “shared” things in the bathroom as window dressing are all I would leave out around a person like this. (A bare minimum amount of basic things you don’t care about like a cheap bottle of hand soap, a few homebrand bar soaps and the cheapest brand TP.)
It might be a good idea to close or block the duct in your room if possible (so the new kid can’t cook you alive), and use an electric blanket or space heater to set your own comfortable temperature.
Also it’s not a bad idea to keep snacks and water in your room, lock yourself in there especially when sus characters are around, pick up solitary hobbies or be away all the time, and if you can afford it take meals while you’re out.
Edit: Perhaps your hospo job allows free or discounted employee meals? So you can work all the time and eat cheaply while avoiding this dude and saving up an emergency fund. If he asks, you’re still broke. Invent a vague debt repayment that gets taken out of your bank account to explain where all your money is going, idk.
Grab your clothes as soon as they’re done washing. A clothes airer rack to dry your clothes in your room is invaluable.
Ps. Sorry if this sounds like a lecture. It really isn’t meant to be. I’ve just lived with and dealt with people like this. A lot.
Mate, all I can say is you’re a far stronger person than I am - you are dealing with some of the shittiest living situations and still thinking through it logically despite being sick as well. It’s so shit that you had to come back to this. I apologise for not remembering, but when do you get to finally get to leave the system/age out? It’s within a year… I hope?? 😬
Okay, at least you have some options. You seem optimistic that this new dropkick will be booted fairly soon but until he is it sounds like you have to go through more crap. I really wish you didn’t have to but you can always vent in the DT whenever you need to…
Thank goodness. But sus out how safe it’ll be to complain first. Sometimes it’ll get back to the idiot you’re dealing with and aggravate them, then you’re left with them taking it out on you.
Fortunately our bathrooms and toilets aren’t shared
That’s good, I was going to suggest a kettle for your room but thought that you’d have to keep refilling a container of water in the kitchen and it would raise questions. Bathroom sink might be an option if you’re desperate and it’s frequently disinfected?
Have a think about the bar fridge I guess. Extra fridges do consume extra electricity. But if utilities are being paid for, you have the money to buy it, it’ll make this crap time safer/more comfortable and your fridge space needs aren’t large… it might be good to have one already when you eventually move out on your own. That’s one less thing you have to buy immediately upon moving. It also means you could hold off on getting a full size fridge until you measure the dimensions in the new place. The one thing I’d consider though is if the energy efficiency might be bad or have become outdated by the time you leave. (Is that a thing?) Could just sell it on once you’re the utility account holder.
Edit: If you’re allowed to take home food from work/can get any cheap large meals that also provides somewhere to keep leftovers for the next day.
Yeah… confidentiality is important but some of these things you really would want to know upfront.
Far out. Nooo. I’m so sorry you went from being sick on your trip to coming back to this guy…
Do you have a complaints process? From experience complaints tend to go into ‘the round file’ (ie. the bin) and I know this is a lot to put on you. But if you’re up to it try to put in complaints as often as you can for as long as you can stand getting the runaround.
Also whether you decide to complain or not (sometimes reporting leads to backlash) it it might be a smart move to buy a cheap A4 notebook and make a note of the times and dates of any incidents. Guy swears at you or damages something or clogs the toilet? Write down a quick summary, time and date. Cops show up? What happened, time and date - plus cops names and their station if possible. Unnecessarily high bill from something he’s done? Time and date. Something of yours goes missing? You know what to do.
Documenting sucks and feels useless but it creates a paper trail demonstrating a pattern of behaviour that might get him kicked out sooner, lay the foundations for an IVO if one is ever needed (touch wood it isn’t), or may hopefully protect you from liability for something stupid he’s done. I am so sorry you’re having to deal with this especially at your young age.
Ps. Definitely get the lockable toolbox for out of sight under your bed and bike chain it to the frame. Grab yourself a lanyard to keep keys on you and lock your bedroom door even just to go to the toilet.
Also - you probably know this already, and may have already been doing this in the old place. But since this kid sounds like a problem it might be cautious to not leave your own personal toiletries in a shared bathroom in case they get used up, stolen or messed with. Maybe buy a wash bag or a beach bag to keep your own toiletries in, leave them in your room and carry to the bathroom as you need them.
A few generic “shared” things in the bathroom as window dressing are all I would leave out around a person like this. (A bare minimum amount of basic things you don’t care about like a cheap bottle of hand soap, a few homebrand bar soaps and the cheapest brand TP.)
It might be a good idea to close or block the duct in your room if possible (so the new kid can’t cook you alive), and use an electric blanket or space heater to set your own comfortable temperature.
Also it’s not a bad idea to keep snacks and water in your room, lock yourself in there especially when sus characters are around, pick up solitary hobbies or be away all the time, and if you can afford it take meals while you’re out.
Edit: Perhaps your hospo job allows free or discounted employee meals? So you can work all the time and eat cheaply while avoiding this dude and saving up an emergency fund. If he asks, you’re still broke. Invent a vague debt repayment that gets taken out of your bank account to explain where all your money is going, idk.
Grab your clothes as soon as they’re done washing. A clothes airer rack to dry your clothes in your room is invaluable.
Ps. Sorry if this sounds like a lecture. It really isn’t meant to be. I’ve just lived with and dealt with people like this. A lot.
deleted by creator
Mate, all I can say is you’re a far stronger person than I am - you are dealing with some of the shittiest living situations and still thinking through it logically despite being sick as well. It’s so shit that you had to come back to this. I apologise for not remembering, but when do you get to finally get to leave the system/age out? It’s within a year… I hope?? 😬
deleted by creator
Okay, at least you have some options. You seem optimistic that this new dropkick will be booted fairly soon but until he is it sounds like you have to go through more crap. I really wish you didn’t have to but you can always vent in the DT whenever you need to…
Thank goodness. But sus out how safe it’ll be to complain first. Sometimes it’ll get back to the idiot you’re dealing with and aggravate them, then you’re left with them taking it out on you.
That’s good, I was going to suggest a kettle for your room but thought that you’d have to keep refilling a container of water in the kitchen and it would raise questions. Bathroom sink might be an option if you’re desperate and it’s frequently disinfected?
Have a think about the bar fridge I guess. Extra fridges do consume extra electricity. But if utilities are being paid for, you have the money to buy it, it’ll make this crap time safer/more comfortable and your fridge space needs aren’t large… it might be good to have one already when you eventually move out on your own. That’s one less thing you have to buy immediately upon moving. It also means you could hold off on getting a full size fridge until you measure the dimensions in the new place. The one thing I’d consider though is if the energy efficiency might be bad or have become outdated by the time you leave. (Is that a thing?) Could just sell it on once you’re the utility account holder.
Edit: If you’re allowed to take home food from work/can get any cheap large meals that also provides somewhere to keep leftovers for the next day.
Yeah… confidentiality is important but some of these things you really would want to know upfront.