Happy Birthday! I want to address this:

Today is my birthday and I’m going through my usual sadness phase about turning a year older. Feelings of being a failure are creeping in as I wish I would have achieved more by now, going into later 30s. I need to work harder at changing up the things I don’t like, because some (most) days, I feel like I’ve just given up.

SOMETIMES surviving is enough. Some times keeping your head above water is good enough. If you really feel this way (and its not some sort of negative perception or comparing how you think your life SHOULD be) then tomorrow pick a project, start small and tackle it. tomorrow aint promised, so if there is something you want to do get started.