Its sun, so dogshit sources, but starmer is a genocidal knight so fuck him.

  • TraumaDumpling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FUCKING “NINJA SWORD”, ninja did not have standardized equipment or tactics or leadership. They were assassins and spies, they would have no use or legal cover story to carry a sword and would be immediately caught.

    a KATANA is a SAMURAI SWORD you fucking SWORD PHILLISTINES

    why? BECAUSE IT WAS USED EXCLUSIVELY BY SAMURAI

    they would EXECUTE YOU for OWNING A SWORD if you were not a samurai

    Heck, the samurai would hide next to roads at night and MURDER RANDOM PEASANTS that crossed their path just to TEST THEIR NEW SWORDS

    If it didn’t kill in 1 stroke, it was a SHIT SWORD

    and it was PERFECTLY LEGAL because JUST LIKE EURO KNIGHTS the samurai were WARLORD KILLER MAFIOSOS who survived by PILLAGE AND OPRESSION

    you idiot anglos INVENTED the term SAMURAI SWORD because your IDIOT ICE MUTANT MOUTHS can’t pronounce something as simple as “KA-TA-NA” so USE YOUR OWN WORDS IDIOT BRITS

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      Heck, the samurai would hide next to roads at night and MURDER RANDOM PEASANTS that crossed their path just to TEST THEIR NEW SWORDS

      Wikipedia…

      Tsujigiri

      Tsujigiri (辻斬り or 辻斬, literally “crossroads killing”) is a Japanese term for a practice when a samurai, after receiving a new katana or developing a new fighting style or weapon, tests its effectiveness by attacking a human opponent, usually a random defenseless passer-by, in many cases during nighttime. The practitioners themselves are also referred to as tsujigiri.

      • Sephitard9001 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        9 months ago

        This would be technically illegal as far as I know but who da fuck is gonna snitch since the victim would die and the samurai aren’t gonna turn themselves in. Samurai were allowed to legally strike down peasants who dishonored them but I think they had to argue this in a court. Not that the court would have any reason to side with said peasant, but they at least at the illusion of law and order

      • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        9 months ago

        Sword attacks were not the only possible application of this act. In a variation named tsuji-nage (辻投げ, “crossroads throwing”), the samurai would attack the passerby with jujutsu in order to test his own techniques or indulge in alive practice.[3] This must not be mistaken with tsuji-zumo, unsanctioned sumo bouts hosted in the street between willing participants.

        • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          9 months ago

          Lots of people don’t know this but before Unsanctioned Sumo changed their name - they had a few angry altercations in/near the clubs they played at. In the worst one - their lead guitarist got punched in the face by an irate guy who said “Where’s the fucking sumo? I bought tickets to Unsanctioned Sumo Bouts and you’re a fucking indie band?” The guy was wearing a big ring on his punching hand and the guitarist got a tooth cracked. The band changed their name the very next day.

    • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      Heck, the samurai would hide next to roads at night and MURDER RANDOM PEASANTS that crossed their path just to TEST THEIR NEW SWORDS

      I know how not funny this is because it’s horrifying, oppressive, violent, and awful, but it’s like a little funny.

    • doublepepperoni [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      Ahem: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninjatō smuglord

      Anybody who’s somebody knows that ninja swords are straight and have square tsubas. Here is HISTORICAL NINJA, Rikimaru from the Tenchu video game series with his ninjatō:

      Just ignore this bit please:

      Historically, there is no physical evidence for the existence of this “katana-like short sword legendarily used by ninja” before the 20th century,[13] though it is believed that the designs demonstrated by alleged replicas are based on the design of wakizashi or chokutō swords or the swords associated with ashigaru.[1]

    • plinky [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      9 months ago

      Walking in knighting ceremony like:

      Got a permit for that sword mate? I know you are a king but the law is the law, sir, please follow me.

  • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    So even after they ban guns, they’ll still go after knives. funny-clown-hammer

    Maybe…maybe they should look at the root issues of why there is an increase of violence. But that means investing in housing and education, and stop tearing up the social programs that help people meet their basic needs. Might have to cut back on arming nazis elsewhere.

  • Kynuck97 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    They are disarming the proletariat because they know how hard we have all been studying the blade. The sword is the true worker’s symbol of liberation. Only a multi-thousand-times folded blade can cleanly slice through the chains of oppression.

    • plinky [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      9 months ago

      I legit think labor lurch to the right is consequences of them seeing 460 seats in parliament in polls and going:

      we can’t win by that much, we have to have thin margin, and go as far right as possible until polls show us in 50 50 split. “Looking at the audience like the price is right contestants” type of deal

  • WittyProfileName2 [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    The funniest thing is, the kindsa swords he wants to ban are already banned under the offensive weapons act.

    Like, they’ve been illegal since 1988, in 2019 the act was amended to include the sorts of impractical wall hangers I’ve heard people online describe as “mall ninja shit”.

    Starmer’s a lawyer, he should know this.

  • Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    There had been that Weapons Law, for a start. Weapons were involved in so many crimes that, Swing reasoned, reducing the number of weapons had to reduce the crime rate.

    Vimes wondered if he’d sat up in bed in the middle of the night and hugged himself when he’d dreamed that one up. Confiscate all weapons, and crime would go down. It made sense. It would have worked, too, if only there had been enough coppers - say, three per citizen.

    Amazingly, quite a few weapons were handed in. The flaw, though, was one that had somehow managed to escape Swing, and it was this: criminals don’t obey the law. It’s more or less a requirement for the job. They had no particular interest in making the streets safer for anyone except themselves. And they couldn’t believe what was happening. It was like Hogswatch every day.

    Night Watch, Terry Pratchett