Prenups are on the rise. But as more couples are confronted with this proposition, they’re having to navigate awkward conversations — and what happens when the terms aren’t agreed upon?
I’m currently trying to get a divorce and settlement from my ex. She had an extramarital relationship and left me for that person. Fast forward 12 months and I receive a letter from her lawyer with a “generous offer” where I pay my ex $280,000 on top of $60,000 that she already received when we separated. Now, to be clear, that is everything I own. I would have to sell my house, my vehicles and part with almost all of my savings with exception of my superannuation and give her all of that money. Not a bad payout since she barely worked throughout those years and contributed little to the relationship.
So I built a rebuttal, complete with documentation, and lawyered up. Since then my ex has stopped participating in the conversation which only leaves me the option of taking it to court, which could cost upwards of $70,000. So I might still lose a lot but not as much.
If you had asked me at the start of our relationship, 10 years ago, whether something like this would happen I’d say there’s no way. The truth is you never know how someone might change over the years and whether they’ll still be the same person you fell in love with.
You never divorce the person you marry.
What the fuck does that mean? We aren’t omniscient. People are illogical, fickle things.
I think you might be interpreting their comment too literally, they’re saying that people change and that the person you want to marry might change substantially over the years to become someone you have to divorce.
People are emotional creatures. To some, it sounds like a plan to fail. But the reality of long-term relationships is highly complex. If you are talking pre-nip and you can’t agree, that’s a bad sign.
If you ain’t no punk…
But seriously, people think prenups are this one sided unfair thing. You can choose to make it as generous as you want. The idea is to agree on it before it’s needed and before emotions are heightened. People aren’t great at thinking clearly when they’re in the middle of a breakup.
