Mate, that’s definitely a lot to wear on your own. It’s a very delicate situation to navigate. I have absolutely nothing useful to add except that you’re an incredibly awesome human and as everyone else has said do talk to others about it (vent here, to a friend, a shrink…) You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. I hope this difficult time will eventually (even if painfully at first) bring forward some vulnerability and openness from all parties. Big hugs 🫂