Research not going well. Its clear I can’t commit the time originally needed so it’s been massively downsized which is eminently sensible but I also feel like I don’t really care about it that much either now, it’s just another job, albeit one I don’t get paid for. I could’ve been more responsible about understanding time frames and my own interests from the start but I didn’t. On top of that, I feel pretty mediocre at work - I’m efficient enough but don’t have any new insight to offer or areas of growth. So I’m pulled in multiple directions and can’t do any of them well.

Think it’s just partly a round of the ol’ black dog making everything look like a failure and feeling like nothing truly interests me any more, I’m glad I’ve got some time off ahead… but I feel like it’s also a sign that maybe I need to finally step back from the industry for real once I’m done in 8 months. Move interstate or whatever like I’d thought I might do this year. in the meantime I’m going to have to just phone everything in to stay afloat. meh. Sad.