On Reddit there was a thread along the lines of “Millennials, what’s your retirement plans?” and the thread was locked with a message from a mod saying they had to shut the thread down because of all of the comments about suicide.
Quite frankly, I get it.
So much of it is just Boomers passing the buck with a “personal responsibility” trope that doesn’t pan out for anyone with even a modicum of misfortune. What are your real options?
Age 10: Be in the top of your class. All of you. Everyone needs to be in the top 10% or you’re not allowed to go to a good high school / college
Age 15: Have a job, but also dedicate all your time to studying, so you can save up to go to a good college. Also, don’t let your grades slip, even a little, because you all need to be in the top 10%.
Age 20: Don’t take on any college debt. But go to a good school. But also hold down a part time job. But studying is a full time job, so make sure you’re getting As in all your classes. But take challenging classes, because no employer wants to see a bunch of fluff on your resume. But also join lots of clubs so you don’t look boring. And make sure you find a partner, so you can start spitting out babies before you turn 30!
Age 25: Get an upwardly mobile job! Maybe even two jobs! And don’t you fucking dare live with your parents, you loser. Have a career and a partner and don’t forget your network is your networth, so make sure you do lots of socializing. But don’t get into debt! Just own a car and live in a nice apartment and go on lots of dates and earn lots of money and DON’T SPEND ANY OF IT WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!
Age 30: Did you invest your savings? Pull out! Pull out! The current investments are all scams! You should do this other thing that’s much more lucrative instead. Real estate is a scam, do stocks! Stocks are a scam, do crypto! Crypto’s a scam, start your own business! Businesses regularly fail, what were you thinking?! You’re a homeowner now, right? Because real estate is about to go up astronomically.
Age 35: Oh boy, hope you didn’t experience any amount of burnout, because this is the most critical point in your life for career growth. You’re already married and own a home and have at least six figures in the bank and own a car and have at least two kids by now, right? Because that’s what your employers are going to want to see before they give you a promotion.
Age 40: How’s it going, buddy? Ready for retirement yet?
Why would employers want you to have kids to have a promotion?
Because then you need the paycheck more, and are less likely to move.
Also you won’t go on parental leave if you’re done having kids.
People with dependents are more likely to put up with employers bullshit demands when its not just their own livelyhood on the line.
Buy a small plot of undeveloped land in a swamp -> buy a pot -> cook soup in the pot -> repeat step 3 until dead
Ambitious I know, but it’s important to have goals.
Don’t forget to bring some potatoes. Those things will grow without soil, I’m sure they’ll grow in a swamp, and they upgrade soup to stew. :)
Potatoes grow without soil? New strat unlocked
Lots of things grow without soil, it’s called hydroponics.
I knew about hydroponics but I never really took the time to research it as it’s hard to live out the dream of living off the grid growing your own crops in a big ass city - that’s neat, though
I have enough money to buy a pot, but not enough for swampy land :(
Relatable.
Don’t forget the “I’m a millionaire and I was on my way to spend a billion dollars on my big business deal when I thought to take some time out from my 26 hour work days to tell you all that the reason other people can’t afford a good retirement plan is because they ALL suck. If you don’t beleive my claims of wealth and their suckyness, then its because you can’t handle reality” comments from a statistically improbable number of people.
Suicide is the last stop for the economic incel
Wouldn’t an economic incel be someone who lives on their parent’s dime and doesn’t really engage with the economy to any real degree? Someone who works, buys, but isn’t making a living wage isn’t an incel, they are being involuntarily screwed by society at large.
I’m sure there’s a word for a person that’s being penetrated against their will…
No
I mean, he worked as a teacher, and an engineer, which is not exactly dead end.
As a kid I always wondered why spiderman had to struggle for rent. I get that is part of his charm, but can’t the city of NY give him a stipend? Can’t Tony start pay him a salary? Damn Tony just give him one of your penthouses. Reminder that when Tony died he could have changed Peter and May’s entire life if he had just left a crumb for them in his will.
In the comics, he wasn’t paired with Tony Stark. He was famously unreliable, always disappearing to fight crime.
And he couldn’t make rent in 1970’s NY.
That right there. If 70s rent control can’t even allow for a super hero, then fuck it… close the books.
Tbf, a guy who’s that unreliable would have a ton of difficulty holding any job at all due to unexcused absence. He’d probably be working below minimum wage or getting fired every other week.
Although things have obviously changed a lot. I’m reading mercy Thompson right now, where a character complains about barely being able to afford living alone after giving away 60% of their check. Iirc they’re supposedly a waitress.
Yeah it’s easy to forget that in the 70s a single income was expected to provide for 4-6 people. Maybe not comfortably, but not homeless.
I figured that’s why he’s canonically a news photographer. It’s the only job he could hold because of his unreliability, and he can literally set up the shots himself. Also $60 per shot makes a lot more sense if it’s the '70s.
From a narrative standpoint, Spider-Man’s entire thing is thematically tied to the idea that “no good deed goes unpunished.” Peter Parker’s academic, professional, and social life all pay a price to enable his crime fighting. Spider-Man 2 does a good job of portraying that. After he stops the train that was about to crash in his fight with Doc Ock, he gets lifted up, arms outstretched, looking like a crucified Jesus. He suffers for the sake of others. It’s honestly a nice contrast to people like Tony Stark for whom being a billionaire playboy superhero has historically (if not in the Marvel movies) been depicted as coming with a fairly comfortable life. Well, at least ignoring the part of his backstory where he went homeless because of his alcoholism. But that was in the eighties, I think.
Iirc they originally wanted the iron man movies to show the damages done by his behavior and his alcoholism more like the comics but they ended up getting rushed to make a sequel to cash in on the popularity of the first movie instead
I’m sure that RDJ’s own alcoholism may have played a role there as well. Don’t want to trigger a relapse.
Yeah, I also read his wife was concerned about the idea at the time. Which is completely fair, but I personally think that it’s part of why RDJ worked so well as Iron Man, he could relate to the character.
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I think Peter does end up working for Stark in some of the comics. Then he goes on to form Parker Industries later on.
Which is odd too. I can’t picture Peter as a captain of industry. He’s brilliant but lazy remember? He’s not a leader. He’s that kid that forgets to turn off the oven, or runs off to chase a criminal instead of going to class. That kind of lifestyle doesn’t Jive with Spidey
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The new Holland trilogy is for sure gonna be deadbeat Peter since nobody remembers him now. But yeah in the 80s and 90s comic he’s in space doing missions with Avengers, then in NY struggling with rent. Made no sense to me. Even worse when he couldn’t afford rent but he had a damn Spider car!
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.
I hope this is a wakeup call.
I had this call when I turned 30, and spent a long couple of years to finally get my shit together. Im nearing 40, got a family, retirement fund and feeling like I see a finish line.
My buddy is the same age, and he’s still living paycheck to paycheck with roommates and recently asked me what a IRA was. I’m pretty sure I’m his retirement.
You can see the finish line at nearing 40? Man that’s a sad thought…what’s the point of life if you can see the end already?
It only seems sad without comprehension, reading - specifically.
Thanks for your input.
I am so fucked
Same, bud. Same.
I just turned 35 a couple of days ago, and this is currently on my mind. I need to make some serious changes, 40 cannot be the same as ages 25 to present.
Like, not even talking financially (though that’d be nice) - I mean like finding people who aren’t family to hang out with once and a while, smoking less weed/other means of being clearer minded more often, broadening my horizons and participation in meatspace, that kind of thing.
His 5 year plan is MJ.
In some languages ‘plan’ does even mean ‘weed’.
Sweet, sticky Mary Jane! 🤤
You ever plan for retirement…on weed???
God damn Jon Stewart looks young in that movie. He had black hair!
His 5 year plan is Пятилетка
Wait you guys have a 5 year plan?
I don’t really even know what it means
It’s a plan for yourself for where you want to be 5 years from now so you can figure out what you need to do to get there.
I want to own a home, so my plan includes figuring out where I need to move to make that possible because where I live right now it’s literally impossible as a single person.
If you don’t mind living in the middle of nowhere, and you live in the US, save up for a mobile home. You can get a used one dirt cheap, (<$10,000 in most of the middle of the country,) and it will be perfectly functional. Look up land that is still covered by the homestead act, put the trailer on the closest available land. Fence off up to 500 acres, depending on jurisdiction, and improve the land for five years. Apply for a deed from the Federal Government. Enjoy your free land. Make sure you survey the land, not all of it is actually desirable.
Edit: bonus if the land is forested. Get a chainsaw sawmill and build “additions” to your mobile home until the mobile home is no longer needed, and you have a house. Also clear at least 300 feet from your house in case of forest fires.
That’s a pretty interesting consideration lol thanks for the info!
I don’t, but commies always do
Not all of us
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Moneybags over here affording one beer at a bar in 2024.
This was in 2020. At least he’s always wearing a mask!
More like Spooder-Man
Gooby pls
So he becomes Deadpool?
No, he becomes Peter B. Parker.
spider man doesn’t age though
Oh, really?
616 comics Spider-man doesn’t age.
He also got cucked by Paul so he’s probably the unhappiest Spider-Man.
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Feel free to cross-post to Mildly Infuriating for the spelling error.
I’m missing it, where is it?
I can only guess they are commenting on the fact that it says won’t rather than can’t.
