Faceless manager: “To meet our KPIs, I worked out that we need to make our product 7% smaller. But how do we make them smaller without anyone noticing?”
Sally from operations: “We’re part of a big multinational conglomerate that made millions of dollars in profit last year. We can afford to keep them the same size and keep prices where they are!”
Greg from accounting: “Not on my watch!”
Faceless manager: “And I won’t meet our KPIs!”
Sally from operations: “We could just be upfront with our customers and say that we’re raising our prices a little in line with inflation?”
Faceless manager: “Yeah, but then they’ll notice!”
Colin the Consultant: “Let’s make them a bit thinner, and make them an oval shape! That way, they’re the same length, but a smaller width!”
Faceless manager: “Thank you Colin! That’s why we pay you the big dollars!”
Ooooo let me guess the shape.
Dodecagonal.
@CEOofmyhouse56 @Catfish Oooh, can I guess the shape?
I guess it’s…
Shrinkflated.
The shape is shrinkflated, isn’t it?
They don’t have any sort of weight measure, but my eyeballs are suspicious…
Are they like counters now? One suck and it’s gone!
Kind flat ovals, like those “wine” gums. But the logo is still round. This makes no marketing sense to me.
@Catfish @CEOofmyhouse56 I can just imagine how that meeting went down…
Faceless manager: “To meet our KPIs, I worked out that we need to make our product 7% smaller. But how do we make them smaller without anyone noticing?”
Sally from operations: “We’re part of a big multinational conglomerate that made millions of dollars in profit last year. We can afford to keep them the same size and keep prices where they are!”
Greg from accounting: “Not on my watch!”
Faceless manager: “And I won’t meet our KPIs!”
Sally from operations: “We could just be upfront with our customers and say that we’re raising our prices a little in line with inflation?”
Faceless manager: “Yeah, but then they’ll notice!”
Colin the Consultant: “Let’s make them a bit thinner, and make them an oval shape! That way, they’re the same length, but a smaller width!”
Faceless manager: “Thank you Colin! That’s why we pay you the big dollars!”
“but I think we need to discuss this more over 4 consecutive work lunches down pub. Who’s in?”.
Wtf. I hate this.