While not entirely healthy (in fact quite the opposite), I went through a phase about … seven years ago now, where, even though I had a job, wife, house, etc., I wanted out. And it was either one way into the infinite beyond, or severing all ties and volunteering somewhere like South America and building houses for the poor or something. I sought help and obviously did neither - but yeah, there’s something really satisfying about the idea of going living for other people in a voluntary perspective. Having just enough to put food in your stomach and have a roof over your head, but otherwise live with experience alone.
I’m rooting for you, I truly am. You’re a great individual and deserve a lot in this life, and the fact that you’re even willing to explore the idea of offering part of your life to help others speaks to that. So here’s hoping that the path before you clears and you’ve able to work towards finding that love once again :)
<3 thank you for your thoughtful and insightful reply JW! It really helps me feel a bit less crazy and alone and scared about whatever comes next. Sometimes - maybe more often than not - what we need to help surf the waves of these difficult feelings isn’t logical, rational, or based on deterministic left brain approaches, it’s a bit of good old fashioned right brain reorganisation by feeling safe and secure and connected in one’s body through interacting with others :)
While not entirely healthy (in fact quite the opposite), I went through a phase about … seven years ago now, where, even though I had a job, wife, house, etc., I wanted out. And it was either one way into the infinite beyond, or severing all ties and volunteering somewhere like South America and building houses for the poor or something. I sought help and obviously did neither - but yeah, there’s something really satisfying about the idea of going living for other people in a voluntary perspective. Having just enough to put food in your stomach and have a roof over your head, but otherwise live with experience alone.
I’m rooting for you, I truly am. You’re a great individual and deserve a lot in this life, and the fact that you’re even willing to explore the idea of offering part of your life to help others speaks to that. So here’s hoping that the path before you clears and you’ve able to work towards finding that love once again :)
<3 thank you for your thoughtful and insightful reply JW! It really helps me feel a bit less crazy and alone and scared about whatever comes next. Sometimes - maybe more often than not - what we need to help surf the waves of these difficult feelings isn’t logical, rational, or based on deterministic left brain approaches, it’s a bit of good old fashioned right brain reorganisation by feeling safe and secure and connected in one’s body through interacting with others :)