tldr, I wrote this at about 1130. thanks for reading if you can sit through it all.
So reddit seems to truncate comments before 2023. Anyone else have the same problem? Or is possible I was just deleting everything before this?
All g either way my post on Jan 5 was talking about first putting my house on the market so if that’s where the journal stretches back it kinda makes sense to me anyway. Its possible that’s when I started no deleting things, as I used to delete everything for reasons I can’t remember.
Thanks to all of you for your understanding, there was a sense of loss and dissapointment then acceptance. Now it’s on my hd and I’ll stick it on drive too.
Had an amazing end to the day yesterday and while I didn’t think I’d need to do any volunteer work I had to do some things which will have postentially great outcomes and showed me how much good will there is for my community despite all the bullshit we keep reading about in the news and from other countries. Then I have the chance to do more tomorrow Thursday and Saturday.
I finally went to the opshop with the last of my stuff to donate. They didn’t take it all, but a big box of cables can just live in the boot till I find somewhere to take it. The place is almost completely set up. It’s so easy to keep clean and find things. St Kilda is pretty cool to live in. I hardly need to drive and I’m only spending about ten bucks a week on petrol. There’s a great cafe around the corner.
AA is helping me face myself a lot more much than I had to in dealing with being trans, which made completely re-avaluate every moment of my life. Journaling is a part of a part of it so that’s pretty good, seeing as its already become a part of my life anyway. There’s an online group which runs 24/7 and its been a godsend literally. There’s a chapter on agnostics which summed up pretty much my whole spiritual view for the last 25 years. Then the end I’m a long way away from is all about service, which is already a part of life as well. It has a low success rate but I don’t have much choice other than take it on with the same gusto as everything I’ve done in the last 12 months.
Thanks for your constantly kind words Stud. You bring me teary happiness every day! I look up to you. I don’t think I do got it yet. I need help. Being strong and thinking for myself almost killed me with the last bender. Lucky a lot the stuff I did this year wasn’t destructive. I’m like a child. I used to think it was great to never grow up. But I have a 2nd chance at puberty. This time I’m not going to stop developing as soon as I finish it.
Thanks again Stud. Recognising I’m trans was all about creating better outcomes, setting better boundaries, holding a mirror up to myself and my past and walking in my truth. Recognising I needed help and support despite being a capable person enough to be pretty self sufficient has been part and parcel of my transition. I feel pretty calm and centred, loved and valued at the same time. Allowing myself to be truly vunerable, completely raw and being open to the fact that I didn’t have all the answers despite being quite independently successful should see me cruise. The fact that I’ve always been feminist and female motivated is nothing new though really, my brain just has the right hormomes now to actualise it a lot better than in the past. This is pride!!
tldr, I wrote this at about 1130. thanks for reading if you can sit through it all.
So reddit seems to truncate comments before 2023. Anyone else have the same problem? Or is possible I was just deleting everything before this?
All g either way my post on Jan 5 was talking about first putting my house on the market so if that’s where the journal stretches back it kinda makes sense to me anyway. Its possible that’s when I started no deleting things, as I used to delete everything for reasons I can’t remember.
Thanks to all of you for your understanding, there was a sense of loss and dissapointment then acceptance. Now it’s on my hd and I’ll stick it on drive too.
Had an amazing end to the day yesterday and while I didn’t think I’d need to do any volunteer work I had to do some things which will have postentially great outcomes and showed me how much good will there is for my community despite all the bullshit we keep reading about in the news and from other countries. Then I have the chance to do more tomorrow Thursday and Saturday.
I finally went to the opshop with the last of my stuff to donate. They didn’t take it all, but a big box of cables can just live in the boot till I find somewhere to take it. The place is almost completely set up. It’s so easy to keep clean and find things. St Kilda is pretty cool to live in. I hardly need to drive and I’m only spending about ten bucks a week on petrol. There’s a great cafe around the corner.
AA is helping me face myself a lot more much than I had to in dealing with being trans, which made completely re-avaluate every moment of my life. Journaling is a part of a part of it so that’s pretty good, seeing as its already become a part of my life anyway. There’s an online group which runs 24/7 and its been a godsend literally. There’s a chapter on agnostics which summed up pretty much my whole spiritual view for the last 25 years. Then the end I’m a long way away from is all about service, which is already a part of life as well. It has a low success rate but I don’t have much choice other than take it on with the same gusto as everything I’ve done in the last 12 months.
deleted by creator
Thanks for your constantly kind words Stud. You bring me teary happiness every day! I look up to you. I don’t think I do got it yet. I need help. Being strong and thinking for myself almost killed me with the last bender. Lucky a lot the stuff I did this year wasn’t destructive. I’m like a child. I used to think it was great to never grow up. But I have a 2nd chance at puberty. This time I’m not going to stop developing as soon as I finish it.
deleted by creator
Thanks again Stud. Recognising I’m trans was all about creating better outcomes, setting better boundaries, holding a mirror up to myself and my past and walking in my truth. Recognising I needed help and support despite being a capable person enough to be pretty self sufficient has been part and parcel of my transition. I feel pretty calm and centred, loved and valued at the same time. Allowing myself to be truly vunerable, completely raw and being open to the fact that I didn’t have all the answers despite being quite independently successful should see me cruise. The fact that I’ve always been feminist and female motivated is nothing new though really, my brain just has the right hormomes now to actualise it a lot better than in the past. This is pride!!
Thanks Stud, I love you <3