• Makeitstop@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    145
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    11 months ago

    I remember the time that a friend of mine was lying on a bed, looking me in the eye and saying “fuck me” and I somehow missed the hint.

    • Risk@feddit.uk
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      133
      ·
      11 months ago

      I legit did this after a date once, though in my defence she asked me in for green tea and I don’t like green tea lol.

      She started to wonder if I was just very friendly and gay after that.

      Fortunately I clarified the issue by marrying her.

      • Sprokes@jlai.lu
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        11 months ago

        The thing I don’t understand about George is how a dumb person like him get attractive dates that even ask him to their house at night.

            • VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              8
              ·
              11 months ago

              A good number of his episode plots are based on things that actually happened to one of the writers, though. Jason Alexander once complained about a plot for George not being believable because nobody would do that, then the guy responded that he had done it.

            • Daft_ish@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              6
              ·
              11 months ago

              He’s a real fictional character.

              Wakes from dream “Theres no such thing as a George Costanza” falls back asleep

    • vortic@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      27
      ·
      edit-2
      11 months ago

      Man… in college I was in the bedroom of a girl I had a crush on and didn’t take the hint. She’d invited me over to do homework together but never touched a book and took me to her bedroom. I still didn’t get the hint.

      • ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        11 months ago

        Hey some of us are meant to make lots and lots of babies with varied and sundry people. And spread lots and lots of STDs in the process.

        And some of us (myself included) are not. Which is fine because babies are expensive, and gross. Now I’m sterile, I can have all the sex I want, and I only need to watch for the disease part

      • quaddo@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        11 months ago

        Same/similar.

        Met up at hers to study. Didn’t study much, but we chatted a lot.

        She told me about how she was born with a birth defect (hips or tibias, I don’t recall now) and how fairly early her on as a baby she had surgery to correct it.

        The surgeon made a point out of really doing a nice suture to make the scars as minimal as possible, for future “young lady” her.

        She wasn’t shy about showing me, pulling down one side of her pants to show the pretty much invisible scar. “See??”

        And I did nothing. Call it good manners, call it being shackled by the fear of self-doubt.

        Geez. I just now remembered her full name. And it’s been more than 40 years now.

    • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      11 months ago

      Like that anecdote that Zizek always tells when the girl basically replies “good, I don’t have any coffee at home”

  • rtxn@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    88
    ·
    11 months ago

    We could be actively fucking and I’d still doubt if that’s what she meant. I’d need something like a testimony under oath and corroborating opinions from three independent psychologists.

  • douglasg14b@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    86
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    11 months ago

    Just like others with a missed , obvious, opportunity.

    I had a girl take me to a room, take her clothes off, and then just look at me and and ask “Well?”

    I had no fucking clue what she meant or what to do so I just did nothing. She then changed into different clothes and left.

  • theneverfox@pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    68
    ·
    11 months ago

    I remember an acquaintance was complaining about their computer turning off when they closed the lid, so I told her to hand it over and I’d see if I could fix it.

    She said she’d buy me dinner to thank me, but my fix didn’t really fix the problem, I just made the computer not sleep when you closed it, and so I didn’t feel like it was worth a reward

    She even asked a second time, it took me years to realize I unknowing (firmly) shot her down

  • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    61
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    11 months ago

    It’s so hard to see past a belief that nobody could possibly by interested in you that way.

  • finkrat@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    11 months ago

    If it helps folks feel better, successful relationships often require successful communication. If one is playing games and the other isn’t getting it, that may be a good thing that the moment was missed; you weren’t on the same wavelength and should probably pair with a better match.

  • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    11 months ago

    this doesn’t make sense tho, why would she say “talking to my crush is awful” to her crush? it doesn’t seem reasonable

  • Gabu@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    35
    ·
    edit-2
    11 months ago

    There was this one guy I was good friends with during my late teens, always taking pictures of us… Took me embarrassingly long to realise he had the gay hots for me. In my defense, I leaned way more hetero at the time.

    • stoicmaverick@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      arrow-down
      7
      ·
      11 months ago

      I am interested in this. Are you bi now? Were you ACTUALLY into girls at the time, or did you just THINK you were?

      • gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        11 months ago

        Not OP, but I’d still like to share my story.

        I was always bi, and I always knew. But for me, in the social environment, it was simply to much work trying to explain to other people why it isn’t wrong to be touchy with another boy, if he feels the same way.

        • stoicmaverick@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          11 months ago

          Cool. Thanks for sharing. I guess I can see how it might sound a bit skeptical on reading with a certain intonation, but that wasn’t the intention. The thing that has me curious is really someone that I used to know when I was in the Navy. I worked in security department on an aircraft carrier for about a year, and we were a really tight-knit group. We hung out outside of work and everything. One of the guys was openly gay, and we all supported him just the same. This other dude, who all just call Waters (because I’ve never had occasion to use a pseudonym before), was easily the weirdest motherfucker I have ever met in my entire life. Same as the rest of the group though, we’re all friends and I trusted him to watch my back in a reaction Force scenario. We loved him, but he was just a freaking weirdo. His hobbies included playing World of Warcraft about 18 hours a day while off duty, really rare and esoteric whiskeys and scotches that I was happy to sample with him, and sneaking up behind people in dark engineering spaces give them a shoulder massage and growl at them, then laugh hysterically at the response.

          A number of years ago, I managed to get into a chat with one of the other guys from our roving team, and I was asking him if he had any contact with some of the other people. Everybody I asked about moved on to pretty normal things, but I asked about Waters, and he said “oh yeah, he’s gay now” and apparently he turned into a completely normal, well adjusted grown up person who happens to be gay. There was literally nothing holding him back from saying so at the time, but either due to social pressure from his family, and assumption that he made about himself as a child, or who knows what else, it just never occurred to him that he was gay. It seems like after he accepted that, and his mind didn’t have to be constantly running some kind of error correction about how he really felt compared to how he assumed he should feel, it completely changed his personality for the better, and he was able to be a functioning adult in a professional setting (as fun as he was before). Ever since, I’ve wondered how many other gay people have had a similar experience growing up, where they just assume that all guys think that dicks are kind of cool to look at, and it takes them a little while to realize that the default setting of heterosexual is not what they really are. Anyway, that’s why I ask.

          Curious questions and honest discourse are the most important thing that we can engage in as people I truly believe. White people have no experience being black, straight people have no paradigm for being gay or bi, and I can’t even fathom what it would be like to feel like I was born into a body with the wrong gender, but I would love for someone who’s lived it to tell me what it feels like, because that’s the only way I’ll ever know. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

          • gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            11 months ago

            Yeah, nice story. I get this.

            I had a similar dude like that when I was taking the military (we have to in my country). He was very weird and fun, and also very touchy with everybody. Idk whether he would have called himself gay though.

            It’s a package.

      • stoicmaverick@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        11 months ago

        Who the hell is down voting this? Do you think I’m being homophobic by wanting to hear your experience from the person who experienced it?

        • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          11 months ago

          Both of you are coming vague. His “leaning more hetero at the time” and your emphasis on ACTUALLY, you sound like you’re doubting that a person can like penises and vaginas, or just straight up not care.

          He’s probably bi or pan. Probably always had been. He probably didn’t realize it in school, or wouldn’t admit it to himself due to societal pressure. He seems to be more comfortable about it now. It really doesn’t need much more detail.

            • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              11 months ago

              I feel like lemmy is sticking more to the old reddiquette upvote/downvote culture of “upvote if it contributes to the conversation, downvote if not”, and not the modern culture of “upvote is if lols”.

        • Tlaloc_Temporal@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          11 months ago

          It comes across kinda No True Scotsman-y. Like, “If you didn’t know you were bi, you were probably just faking”, especially with that emphasis.

          Maybe restating to “were you just curious at the time, or did you have experience?” would help?

  • pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    29
    ·
    11 months ago

    I think the second girl meant the first one acted weird and awkward around everybody, not just her crush, so it’s not reasonable to conclude the second girl was the crush anyway.

    • ApostleO@startrek.website
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      29
      ·
      11 months ago

      But second girl only ever sees how first girl acts when she is around (regardless of who else is there). That’s how perception works. She can’t see how first girl acts when she’s not there, because she wouldn’t be there to see it.

    • poppy@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      11 months ago

      That’s how I read it and dark hair was just like “wow I can’t believe I said that to someone” sometimes it takes us a while to realize we put our foot in our mouth but the interpretation that is more common in this thread probably makes more sense.

      • 0ops@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        11 months ago

        I also read it this way, definitely relatable unfortunately 😞

    • Ephera@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      11 months ago

      No, blonde girl was dropping hints that emo girl is her crush. Emo girl didn’t get the hint until a year later.

    • stoicmaverick@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      I think it’s just an intrusive thought because she basically (accidentally) told her friend that she is weird and annoying during a moment of vulnerability. Stuff sticks with you. It’s like the time I felt the need to explain to our German foreign exchange student that they only need to use a little bit of salt because I didn’t realize that they have salt in Germany. I was 9 at the time, but still. I think about that…