TIL Satan is a genie.
Also, in these games, the folks going for “more wishes” are shooting low. The only wish you need, which also defeats the monkey’s paw, is “grant me omnipotence.”
But: this is Satan we’re talking about. The Deciever, The Traitor. Not only is this a monkey-paw situation, but a Christian Satan is going to actively try to decieve you.
I don’t think I’d even trust his answer about whether there’s a cost, so I’d pass on the winning lotto numbers, too.
I’d say, “no thanks” and immediately convert to Catholicism, start going to church, and lead a clean life from here on out. If the orthodox Jews are right, I’m fucked anyway since my mother isn’t a Jew, so Christianity is the best bet.
Omnipotence without knowing how to control it could very easily instantly annihilate you, whether physically or mentally through complete ego death.
Omnipotence means you can do literally anything, and anything includes having perfect control of your powers without knowing how to use them. It also includes the ability to continue to interact and exist as an omnipotent being even if you were completely, utterly, 100% destroyed.
If you were omnipotent, you could just decide that every action you take will benefit you in some way and then, it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re doing the right thing. You could even just choose not to lose yourself in your newfound power.
You don’t have to know how to do something to do it when you’re omnipotent. You don’t even have to know the option to do it exists to choose that option. Because omnipotence means the ability to do literally anything, even when it makes no logical sense.
Of course, none of this makes logical sense. It doesn’t have to, because omnipotence isn’t a scientific concept or anything. It’s a word we chose to define in a contradictory way. It’s like if we made a new word that means “somebody who can do things they’re completely incapable of doing.” Not even really a paradox so much as a word whose definition makes no sense.
The weirdest part to me is that an omnipotent being must, by necessity, have the ability to create a being with powers exceeding omnipotence. Something more powerful than them. But they must also have the ability to overpower their creation, otherwise there’d be something they can’t do, and they would therefore not be omnipotent. That’s just a mindboggling thing to think about.
This is the only true safe wish or questions. Nothing is pressing enough to ask just to get purposefully deceived and probably in such a way as to cause harm
I thought if Judaism is correct gentiles can avoid Gehennom (purgatory) by following the 7 noahide laws?
And here I thought the Jewish faith didn’t have an afterlife?
So much conflicting information in this religion thing. I think I’ll just avoid it all together.
Dunno. I haven’t studied it; all my info comes from informal conversations with a jewish friend of mine, a long time ago. I could also be misremembering what he said.
It’s something I would look into, if faced with confirmation of a judao-christian afterlife, especially if I could concurrently cover multiple bases. I’d look at Islam, as well; could be they’re not mutually exclusive. I dread to think of how limited my diet would become… but faced with an ensured eternity in hell ¯\(ツ)/¯
Satan being the bad guy according to the Christians. As far as I know, Satan hasn’t told his version of events.
But let’s back up to Genesis, what did Satan do wrong?
- He encouraged Adam and Eve to defy a literal tyrant.
- He encouraged them to seek wisdom and knowledge.
- His actioned their free will and autonomy, and got them out of jail.
As far as I’m concerned, he did nothing wrong. When I see how the Catholic church operates, I can understand why this guy might be their enemy. Imagine people seeking knowledge and using their autonomy to make their own choice! How horrible!
It’s been decades since I read a bible (protestant, King James, IIRC), but from my memory, he’s also responsible for demonic posession, tempting Christ, and leading people to behaviors that would result in eternal torment in the afterlife.
The bible is more than just Genesis, even if you discount the new testement.
What is the simplest proof that P=NP?
Waht is the simplest complete unified model of physics?
How do I make you grant me unlimited wishes?
Monkey’s paw moment:
Simply wish for unlimited wishesWish granted! Bam, you can now wish anything, as many times as you want, and it won’t be any different!
Except you missed the point.
They asked for the instruction as their third wish. They don’t have any wishes left to wish for more.
Only the post is about asking questions to the devil, not asking for wishes. Which would make no difference in the end, you can make all the wishes you want, there was never anything about making any of them coming true.
Maybe add “that can be understood by most experts in the relevant field of study living today” to those questions, cause you might get something incomprehensible in the response.
My first thought for the first one is that a malicious devil will just reply that n=1.
“Satan has stopped responding. Would you like to force close?”
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What’s the catch?
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So you’ll just answer ANY three questions I have truthfully?
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Wait… Did those first two count?
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Are you the devil?
Really?
You?
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What two questions could I ask you that would provide me with the best possible benefit in a way I would be happy with
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(And 3) those questions
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Will you please fuck off and take the Trump voters with you?
Trump voters are mostly Christians. Secular humanists / Satanists are arguably more compassionate than any religious group, with the exception of maybe Sikh’s, those guys are truly a wonderful bunch.
Can I really ask 3 whole questions? Oh … two now? Fuck!! goddam. Ok, ummm… gotta be something real important, something impactful… Should I invest in Tesla?
I should have just asked who has the hottest content on OnlyFans. At least I would have got something for my money.
Lotto Numbers, Lotto Numbers, and, is God a jerk?
I feel like listening to the devil bitch about God for a few hours would be therapeutic.
Why is your father such a childish fuckwit?
Why does he let you act equally/more powerful?
Can I have an Audi RS6 Avant with unlimited fuel and tyres?
I feel like the answer to the third question would be the pendantic, “you sure can!” answer.
- is squirt pee?
- is squirt pee?
- is squirt pee?
At your core you know the answer to that question, and you are ok with it.
“No thank you, you’re smarter than I am and don’t have my best interests in mind.”
I’d ask why at least.
Since it’s impossible to determine whether any given answer is true or not, the logical course of action is to only ask question with observably objective answers. Examples:
- What are the next lottery numbers?
- Will it rain tomorrow?
- Where was the exact location of Troy during the Greek war?
Things like that.
- 1 67 8 10 5 (doesn’t specify where)
- Yes (doesn’t specify where)
- Gives you exact coordinates to a town called Troy in the US that existed during the Greek civil war of the 1950s
Can’t help you with the first two, but the third is Wilusa, and the problem is more with the when than where.
Homer fucked up and combined the Mycenaean conquest of Anatolia in the 14th century BCE (the catalog of ships and Helen parts) with the sea peoples retaking the city from the Hittites in the early 12th century BCE after the Hittites took it (presumably in their pursuit of Piyama-Radu) and Tudhaliya IV re-installed their own loyal representative in the late 13th century.
This ended up completely messing up Greek timelines, btw, with them thinking the Argonauts (the loose tales of the sea peoples period) was before the Trojan War (it straddled the 12th century capture of Troy but was well after the Mycenaeans), or how Perseus is his own grandfather depending on the lineage being followed.
Not sure what devil means here, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter which kind of devil it is exactly. It’s probably going to be very unhelpful or actively malicious on concrete or practical stuff anyway.
Would just ask stuff about them. How’d they come to be? Are there more of you? Are you limited to this planet, or does your influence extend beyond? Stuff like that.
- Why are you offering this?
- Yo what’s the deal with UFOs?
- Preferred hot dog recipe
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