I leave the house for work at 6, so I’m in bed at 10. As for when I got to sleep… sometimes the snooze gods are kind, sometimes they aren’t.

Fuck those fuckers. I critted twice in my last session and rolled minimum damage both times!

Every single time -

Me: “Is rare astronomical phenomenon visible from the Southern hemisphere?”

Google: “Ha ha, nope.”

Thanks. Now if you don’t mind, my new character is going back to drying the pieces of my old character over a fire to preserve him until we get back to civilisation.

To be clear, health should be a human right, housing should be a human right, food should be under health as a human right but let’s be serious it should be a separate human right so everyone has to acknowledge it.

You’ve just summed up article 25 of the universal declaration of human rights. The US is a signatory to it - but it’s not legally binding.

The US healthcare system is a hostage situation.

“Roll to see if you know the leech-to-gold exchange rate.”

I didn’t know that, but I’m not exactly shocked to hear it.

Billionaire celebrities with millions of fans enabling their narcissism.

Good choice. It’s one of my favourites.

You sure like watching other people fuck.

I once had a French co-worker tell me that the rest of France would divorce you if they could.

I made the choice to not have kids. I didn’t want the responsibility and I didn’t think I’d make a good parent. I’m in my late 40s now, and honestly - it’s been pretty great. It was the right choice.

I’ve had a photoelectric alarm set off by steam from a dryer in the next room, through a closed door.

Some loud people on the internet hate it when someone drinks soda water. Others, tap water.

Soda water. That I get from my tap and fizz in my Sodastream machine.

Right now, two entirely different beverage gatekeeping factions are gasping and clutching their pearls. Suck it, pearl-clutchers. Or don’t, because this one’s mine.

He adopted a fake accent to distance himself from his humble and poverty-stricken roots.

I’m also not a programmer but here’s why Linux is my daily driver:

I like it.

Leave things better than you found them.

Would you still love it if you did it for a living?