I got a COVID infection a while ago that permanently disabled me pretty bad. Bedridden, unable to move much, etc.
The thing that really helped me was relaxing and listening to music. Thatās what I spent my days doing as I couldnāt do much else. I became a real music nerd and just loved the bliss of hearing music.
A little later (two years). I got another COVID infection ā I was taking very strong precautions, and couldnāt see anyone. It turns out I got it from my doctor. Anyways, this infection caused some brain damage which has caused me to mostly loose the ability to hear. And now Iām still mostly motionless alone in bed, but I havenāt even got the comfort of sound or music. Just a mostly silent (tinnitus filled) world.
Iām so scared of getting covid again. But mostly I miss the world and my old life. Being stuck alone in bed with only the internet for company sucks. People tend to be arseholes online. I canāt help but feel I got ānatural selectionedā. Me and my wife were planning on having kids soon. Now I barely see her and Iām going to slowly die in a nursing home. There are specific genetic vulnerabilities to illnesses, and natural selection works with them (see what Europeans coming to America did). And I got fucked here. COVID was my end.
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It absolutely sucks that this happened to you, I would literary not wish your fate on anybody in the world. I wonāt use this to tell my own sob story, but have you tried getting into video games? Most have accessibility features. Get āFactorioā it basically runs on a potato and you will unironicaly forget what the sun looks like. Sound is not important either.
Iād wish it on COVID deniers who think anyone who caught it and didnāt die is āfineā. They absolutely deserve that fate.
Nah dog, as somebody whoās experienced only a fraction of soul crushing loneliness and isolation, I wouldnāt wish it on anybody. Nothing makes you feel less human.
Space Age is right around the corner. Iāll emerge after winter.
Just in time for the Project Zomboid B42 update, and its back to the cave.
A week after the government lifted mask mandates here in South Africa the lady who usually helped me at the local pharmacy was dead. She was immunocompromised, and it took just a week of people huffing their breath on her for her to catch COVID and die. Just like that.
I wear my mask religiously whenever I walk into any building. No one is getting COVID because of my criminal negligence.
But itās not just that. I also wear my mask because I donāt believe people should be allowed to simply forget COVID and all the shitfuckery about our society that it exposed.
Sorry, I know this rant doesnāt help you in any way.
As the only person in my public-facing job to never stop masking, I feel you. Still get random aggression from strangers about it, but will just half-heartedly mention how lucky they are to have not lost anyone personally. Most people I know are missing some family since the pandemic.
I got COVID related tinnitus, avoiding beans, and certain soy based oils helps slightly, but itās not consistent.
I stay healthy by doing painful amounts of exercise each day even if it feels like itās killing me. It often feels like dying, and sometimes makes me very depressed (all my energy going into it, and being unable to think clearly after). But pushing my exercise limits every day, taking at most one day a week off for rest/recovery has helped.
Covid was an ugly part of the world. Music was a beautiful part of the world.
is there are beauty left?
@[email protected] you need to get off the .world federation bubble (which blahaj is a part of).
Try Hexbear for a week. It doesnāt cost you anything, just take a look. You donāt have to stay if you donāt like it.
But something tells me youāre quickly going to understand why Lemmy has two major federation poles after checking it out.
You think that covid has damaged their brain enough to turn them into a maoist? I doubt it.
Sorry Iām sure your nice people but I donāt want authoritarian propaganda spam
what a bizarre plug. āgrieving? try going to a middle school classroom!ā the internet is indeed a cold place, manā¦
How is this relevant to the conversation?
Iām so sorry to hear that. I donāt really have any advice but youāll be in my thoughts OP, I hope you get better
Fucking sucks but it was impactful to read your story. Iām guessing youāre properly deep in the supplement community, but if you want to chat about them lmk
This reminded me that Apple recently added a feature to iOS called Music Haptics that lets you feel the music on your iPhone. Itās not the same of course but maybe it helps out a little.
Theres a thought. There are headphones that transfer music to vibrations that travel through the bones in your head as opposed to the ear canals. Might be worth looking into
Probably not if the deafness is caused by brain damage.
Iām sorry for your loss of the lifestyle you cherished. Just a random thought: If hearing aids wonāt work for you, you could try feeling music instead of hearing it, while it wonāt be the same, sensing the underlying beat could help evoke your imagination again and possibly help you rediscover your favourite tunes and new ones.
Definitely the internet is a mixed bag, with lots of doom and gloom, and more cynical and controversial takes elevated to the top. There are also corners of the internet that are positive, definitely go visit them more. Reading fiction and learning from non-fiction literature may be more of a personal comfort than the internet may be.
Did you get vaccinated? Please say you did, and that you werenāt one of the dumb ones falling for all this bullshit.
Dude, read the room.
Are you on the spectrum?
Yes. Is that a problem?
OP has lost their hearing, is bed-ridden, and has lost their future plans. And here you are kicking them while theyāre down. There is absolutely nothing appropriate with anything you just said in your comment.
If they fell for it, then theyāve effectively destroyed their own life. Iām not going to be sympathetic towards antivaxxers. The whole world worked as fast as possible to get people protected. If this person then rejected all of that work, all of that effort, and ended up like this? ā Then they did it to themselves.
You donāt have to be sympathetic. You also donāt have to be an asshole and rub it in. You know nothing about this person, and yet youāre so quick to pass judgement. I pity you more than I pity OP.
You should probably pity OP more. They lost the genetic lottery on this one. I havenāt had COVID. Iāve been actually harassed and bullied because of the protections I took.
So fuck antivaxxers.
This isnāt about you.
This is 100% inappropriate to ask. While I am also very pro-vaccine and frustrated at the anti-vaccine movement, youāre talking to some who is grieving the loss of a major part of their life. Saying all this is on par with āDid your mom X with youā or āThis wouldnāt have happened if you didnāt Y so muchā to explain disabilities. No one owes you their medical history and shame on you for asking. Youāre fishing to put personal blame on to someone so you can get a sense of smug schadenfreude from another suffering. Letās say the answer is yes, are you truly here to do a victory lap?
Letās say the answer is yes, are you truly here to do a victory lap?
Yep. And if the answer is no, then Iāll offer my condolences and probably do some research to see what opportunities for treatment they have available - so that I can help in the way I know best.
Yep.
Well that is just an outright cruelty. Fucking stop.
And if the answer is no, then Iāll offer my condolences
Do that anyways.
probably do some research to see what opportunities for treatment they have available
Holy shit donāt. This post isnāt your personal call to action. OPās doctors know far more about their treatment than some rando online. OP is venting, not asking for your personal medical advice.
Please, try to understand what you are doing here is harmful, not help and learn how the disabled community is begging people to stop saying these things.
Youāre speaking to a troll, by the way. This isnāt new behaviour.
what a smug piece of shit. not just because you want to gloat at anotherās suffering, but because you are fucking arrogant enough to this that you can help find a solution to a problem OP has had for years.
Do you really think that OP is that much of an idiot that it took them two years to find some random asshole on lemmy to Google shit for them?
You need to do some introspection, holy shit
I have helped find solutions for lots of peopleās medical issues over the years, as I study molecular biology.
Iāve also found doctors often donāt care to do this research themselves. You too can help; as someone who cares about this stuff often times a patientās best hope is a family-member who can suggest treatment paths for the doctor to look up themselves.
Doctors arenāt infallable as you may think;
The irony of raging about anti vaxxers while using their talking points.
Anti-vaxxers donāt trust researchers and their research.
I donāt trust for-profit ādoctorsā, who look at you as a pile of cash to extract money from.
While related to the healthcare industry, they are not one in the same.
The internet is a poor companion these days. I didnāt even know that covid could do such things to you. That is awful. Iām really sorry to hear about your situation. Are you able to use hearing aids? Theyāll change your life for the better. Costco has pretty affordable top of the line hearing aids, respectively. Get an evaluation and find out!
You should see an immunologist or rheumatologist. A lot of people with āLong COVIDā have been being found to have undiagnosed or inactive autoimmune conditions that were only surfaced by these types of infections. You may be able to improve your quality of life by getting some things under control with medication.
Please donāt give me medical advice. I know what I have. I have a multitude of non-autoimmune diseases triggered by COVID which fall under the umbrella term of long covid. I did not ask for advice. I just wanted to vent.
Nothing but feels for you friend, thatās rough and I canāt imagine what it must be like. I too am coming to grips with my own disabilities, a spine injury putting me into a wheelchair. Losing a sense on top of everything else you mentioned is horrific.
If I may be so bold, I found a lot of peace, zen and understanding in the book āWhat doesnāt kill youā. I recently finished and it was incredibly gratifying to read about how other people struggle with life changing medical events.
There are corners of the Internet still out there where you can find some really great people to hang out with; like 70% of my friend group is people who all meet through online games. We get together in person weekly or so now but still regularly play games together and hang out. I know itās no replacement for all youāve lost, but maybe playing games with friends could be some comfort? Or some other hobby or interest group that can be engaged with online?
You have had a major loss.
Iām glad you are still with us to share this story. You wrote in such a clear and eloquent way; itās clear you cared very much about us that you took the time to communicate effectively.
My father is currently in a nursing home (just for normal end of life stuff). He was a deadbeat most of my life and treated his health really poorly.
Itās cruel that he was able to live the way he did and live for so long, while youāve done nothing to āearnā your maladies; yet, youāre both in a similar situation (except no one wants to go see him, because of him being a PoS for most of his life). You donāt seem like a deadbeat or a PoS, so as far as Iām concerned, you win.
I hope things turn around completely for you and youāre restored back to full health.
