We have to lock ours in a safe because our cat’s an asshole
We would like to see the evidence
Oh, you’ve got a carb nibbling goblin, too? If we accidentally forget to put away the bagels, the bread, the muffins, the cookies, the cake, the insert whatever carb treat here… We will inevitably wake up to find tiny holes chewed out of the bag or box and shredded crumbs everywhere, including stuck to the little asshole’s fur.
what is the bottle hack?
You put the bread in a bottle and you can just put the cap on it to keep it fresh. You can just pour it into your toaster after that!
🎶please don’t forget to close my bread that’s in a bottle, yeah🎶
Cut the top off of a 2 liter bottle and put the bread bag through the neck, spread it around the neck, then put on the bottle cap.
sounds like a lot of work when I can just leave the bag open
Why even put it back tbh
- cut the neck off a plastic bottle
- thread the end of the bag through
- fold the bag open around the bottle neck
- close the cap, trapping the bag between the bottle neck and the cap.
I’m sure it works but any other method of closing the bag from the top two rows are better imo, at least for bread.
Bottle the bread?
Idk
Hate this diagram because who uses a bread box without any of the other non-chaotic evil options.
Chaotic neutral and lawful good is the GOAT
Drop the bread box and just gently squish the entire loaf before twisting and tucking to basically vacuum seal it. That’s my GOAT
This. For soft crumb American sandwich sliced bread, you want as little air circulation as possible, balanced only by not crushing the loaf. A bread box is a quaint place to toss the bread once you squish the air out, but without the bag it’s basically the same as the chaotic evil option.
I do neutral evil because I haven’t seen a reason to do anything else.
You’ve never ended up with stale or moldy bread? I’m envious.
Bread is a stapleware, as such it needs to be eaten. Keeping the bag open for easier (tactical), time-critical access is a thus a necessity.
That’s why I live that chaotic neutral life.
Because of that? Not that I know of. From it being much past the best before date of course.
I tried the rubber band. I tried the clip. Neither work.
Only the fridge does. And that works well enough. I either tuck it, or I take it all out and keep it on a tray. Open. If I keep it for long enough to make it dehydrated, it’s my fault.I use the twist-and-tuck and the fridge in combination. Works well. When I worked at a restaurant we did the twist-and-tuck, but never needed to refrigerate bread because we went through it fast enough.
In my case, twisting it just causes too much moisture and sogging. So the twist-less tuck, keeping the air changing, is actually more intentional than lazy.
That’s fair! Whatever works for your situation.
Chaotic neutral for me. The twist tie goes in my twist tie collection.
idk why anyone would choose anything but chaotic neutral
unless you own a breadbox
Exactly! Everything else is just extra steps for the same result.
Jokes on you, de-aired, twisted, twist tied and tucked
Just like my balls.
deleted by creator
When you say de-air, do you gently squish the whole loaf before twisting as well to effectively vacuum seal it?
Yes
Here’s a version for my fellow gluten-free peeps:
Funniest comment so far, you get a prize! An upvote.
Thank you! I want to ::sniff:: thank my coach, the whole team ::sniff::, and especially my mom for helping make this happen! ::sniff:: Love you mom!
This image is fairly old, and I have disagreed with it from the get go. Chaotic evil is tying as many knots as possible, forcing one to cut the bag open.
After licking every slice.
Chaotic evil is leaving the bag wide open … in the freezer … behind the three bags of frozen fries … for three weeks … but it’s the only bread you have at 11pm on a Saturday night and you don’t feel like doing or getting anything else to make you sandwich.
I think in my entire life I’ve only ever seen one or maybe 2 bread boxes.
I have an old bread box; but I don’t use it for bread.
Did you know you can put your weed in there?
In that case, does it become a weed box? Is a bread box still a “bread box” if it doesn’t contain bread?
Did you know you can put your weed anywhere? Some places have better results but you can still put it there.
I hide my weed in the bread.
10th option: eat the entire loaf in one sitting.
I was thinking that this matrix is missing an accompanying time-chart but I don’t know how to plot the y axis.
I put mine in the fridge. Why? It lasts longer.
That’s actually false. Bread is one of the few items that turn bad quicker in the fridge than on the counter. https://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/shopping-storing/food/bread-storage
Oh I don’t mean homemade. I meant regular bread. I don’t bake. I cook. But good to know!
I live in a hot, humid environment. Keeping bread in the fridge helps it to stay good for multiple weeks. If I leave it out, it molds way quicker. I also sometimes will store bread in the freezer to keep it fresh even longer if I know I’m just going to make toast out of it.
Yeah, good point, but that article isn’t talking about what’s in this picture.
Store-bought sandwich bread usually can be kept in the fridge without much change in texture. That’s because it often contains additives and preservatives that keep it fresh longer.
Freezer is my preference. Stays good for very long and keeps the texture and freshness. Put it in toaster or microwave after if in a hurry, otherwise you can just put slices in the fridge so you have unfrozen ones for the breakfast.
I just never bake mine.
the… the bottle hack is for things like popcorn kernels that you can pour…
whoever closes a bread with the bottle hack is the true evil hiding in plain sight
Hair tie. I always have 1, or 2, or 3 in my pocket.
I’m chaotic neutral!
No slip knot?
A slipknot works great! It’s done in a second and easily undone as well.
I do the same. I don’t understand why it puzzles some people. They look at me like I put a padlock on it and I have to undo it for them, which is just pulling the end…
