For me, a random sales guy took the cake when he introduced himself as “Chief Innovation Evangelist”.
I was a noodle ambassador, once upon a time.
All in a day’s work for a dedicated servant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster 🍜
R’Amen!
I laughed out loud when I saw someone I know on LinkedIn convert from real estate agent to ‘prompt engineer’
That one bugs me. Should require an engineering degree.
Language creep. I imagine it gets worse as we age…
-Senior Application Engineer
A good line from a video about a cancelled game jam documentary: “Matti was hired as a Pepsi Consultant, a job title less dignified than Human Trafficker”
If I remember reading some old Mac magazine correctly, Guy Kawasaki’s official job title at Apple was “Intergalactic Evangelist”.
Futurologist
I know that is used for someone who generally has a good enough grasp on science and technology to make rough approximations of what could happen as those fields progress, but it sounds like a fancy term for a psychic.
I’m switching my LinkedIn title to Futuronomist to avoid this kind of mixup
If you think that’s strange, wait until you see the Scientologists.
I really want the job of “head receiver,” like Jerry here.
I was being recruited to design and develop a machine that sorted bull semen into male and female and I half jokingly said I’d consider it if i could have the title of Sr Semen Sorter and manager said ok. COVID stopped the project though
At first I was like “good luck finding that female semen…” Then I realized I’m just dumb.
Yeah I’m still not getting it lol
In case you seriously aren’t getting it, it would sort sperm based on whether it had an “x” or a “y” chromosome
Shit ok that’s what I thought but I misremembered some biology and told myself that’s not how it works lmao.
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
You can separate bull semen? I don’t want to Google this. How is this done?
No need to Google
You can separate bull semen
by just using your mouth. Hope this helps!
That is both awesome and scary at the same time
Worked in printing before things were phased to computers and had to shoot/cut out negatives on a light table for the press plates. It was called “stripping”. So, I was a stripper once without taking off any clothes.
Pharmacists are drug dealers. At least I call them that. 😁
I have a friend who works in GIS and had a title of “Maker of Maps”
Hopefully the good kind.
A cartographer?
A former colleague had the title “Project Professional”.
As you can tell, he was good at doing projects, just not at doing anything in those projects.
Maybe this doesn’t count but… I once had a manager who had “Master of All He Surveys” on his business card.
We didn’t get a long too well.
What is he secretly Lord Zedd or something?
Chief Trainee.
Context: The hierarchy at this job I once had (and still kind of have) went like this:
First, the four departments:
Technician, Navigator, Mechanic, Processor.Trainee tech/nav/mech/proc -> tech/nav/mech -> Shift Leader tech/nav/mech/proc -> Chief tech/nav -> Party Chief
This one guy we hired was good at what he did, and he had years of experience from a different company. He was hired with the understanding that he’d take on the chief role after some time.
However, HR stupidity dictated that a certain duration with the company was required for various levels, so he had to start as a trainee. And pay was also linked to this, and he was supposed to be paid as a chief.
So I as a shift lead at that time had him working under me as Chief Trainee so he could learn our methods and systems before he got into the role as my Chief.
I was looking for a new job recently and found a listing for Part-time Manhole Cover Inspector. Was tempted to apply, but I was not qualified.
My younger brother had a summer job in high school as a worm farmer.
deleted by creator
One of the dispensaries near me has weed consultants called “Rangers.”
So that’s why they call it the Mighty Morphine Power Rangers.