I thought this article was interesting, in that I am immediately suspicious of the motives of some of people quoted. The conclusion runs counter to what I want to be true, and I’m curious what other people make of it.
Also men: Do you actually feel attacked? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen someone criticised for like being strong and capable, or a good carpenter, or a protective dad or whatever. Is this a real thing? or just something that is used as cover like the traditional values vs violent misogyny terminology.
P.S. Thinking there are hordes of ravenous cancellers waiting in the wings is extremely funny to me. Not exactly beating the allegations that listening to Jo Rogan damages your perception of reality.
What are you doing to prevent DV? (Not a challenge, I’m genuinely curious if you’re part of any efforts)
So if you read that book, or look into any of the research behind DV you will learn that it’s not really a problem women can confront at the source because the psychology behind it is one which fundamentally views women as inferior. In the same way if someone is racist somebody from a group they hate is unlikely to meet with much success trying to change their views (at best probably getting recognition as “one of the good ones”) women talking to men about why we’re actually whole-arse people doesn’t work very well.
Aside from trying in vain to get men to learn literally anything about why DV happens and why they can actually make a massive difference talking to their mates and setting norms for acceptable ideas about women at work/at the gym/at the club etc it’s not really in my means to donate to a shelter or whatever. I do volunteer for the greens around elections.
That said, being a woman in society there’s the sort of basic keeping an eye on things. Making a point to chat with neighbours, hosting drinks, sharing food etc that gives you a bit of a chance to have a network of support for people, victims tend to hide the harm believing themselves to be at fault so there’s not a good chance you’ll actually know. You can call a welfare check on a house if you hear a nasty fight but it’s unlikely to do much.
Your book looks like an American thing. I try not to consume too much yank media. I read “See what you made me do” by Jess Hill a few years ago. Is it significantly different to that?
Pretty similar, I had forgotten the name of Jess’s book. I think hers focuses more on legal stuff in Australia iirc and less on the personal psychology but it’s there too.
They’re both using the same body of knowledge.