I was making toast once at work.
A particularly baffling coworker saw this and went “oh you like toast do you? I had an uncle who liked toast”
I’m not sure if he just didn’t like to leave good silence alone, or if he had a bizarre family where nobody else liked toast except for Mad Uncle Toast Eater, who presumably died from his crippling toast addiction.
I hope you didn’t respond to him, to make him uncomfortable with the silence again.
Maybe that silence is his Toast though. The more you have, the more you want.
fucking incredible sentence though. what a legend.
Elder Scrolls NPC type conversation.
I think bagels are boiled, then baked. Cooked twice.
Then we toast them to cook them a third time.
And if we’re from the Midwest and at a fair, cook them a fourth time by deep frying them.
That might make me consider actually going to the state fair instead of bitching about it making traffic terrible by bringing a ton of people into the middle of the city
We went this fall like we have for the past few years but even the lemonades were $10-15 so I don’t think we’ll be returning.
Our state fair is in some little ass town in the middle of nowhere. I’ve always wanted to make the 3 hour drive, just never gotten around to it, $15 lemonades don’t sound very encouraging.
what would cooking them for a fifth time look like. is it even possible?
boil > bake > grill > fry > microwave
“Just fucking kill me already”
Probably something like Cuil theory
Like some hardcore JPEG re-compression
Nobody knows…
I think it has more to do with wanting the bread warm in any way … so that you can melt butter on top of it. Nothing like fresh baked bread and melting butter over it. The next best thing is to take cold bread, toast it and melt butter over it.
I grew up poor and I remember being a kid and craving melted butter on warm toast but we seldom had any … so we often opted to using just lard instead. Same sensation but the taste wasn’t as good.
Nonsense!
Hey! … I’m OK! … Me and my arthritic body, I’m OK!
I hope you’re aware of The Heart Attack Grill. Amazing fries cooked in lard. All you can eat fry bar. The burgers are pretty good too.
When I went they stopped at a quadruple burger. This thing is insane.
I am, but unfortunately they don’t seem to exist on my side of the Atlantic 🤷
Fly out to California for a “business conference,” and stop at the one in Vegas :)
I’ll be sure to bring all my important business papers
I was expecting Vincent not Lebowski
I’ll do you one better… toast the bread, add the butter, then when that’s all melted into place, sprinkle cinnamon over it. Fucking amazing.
Ooh I’m excited to try this. Going to do this next time I want a slight snack.
Probably, as the original toasters only did one side, and that was intentional.
Watch the shock on OP’s face when they learn of bis-cuit.
Do you mean crunchy cookies, or savory butter scones?
EITHER ONE!
For the love of Crust.
In crust we trust, amen!
I wouldn’t be surprised if originally it was something you did to rescue stale bread. Can’t waste any good food when it’s scarce, you know?
I still use it to rescue state bread. Either that, or if I need a harder/warmer surface to spread things on.
People toast fresh bread? Why, fresh bread is good as-is.
I mean, if it’s fresh from a bakery - sure, but “factory-fresh”? I think toasted is definitely an improvement.
Of course it was that.
Fresh bread has the glutens all loose and digestible. When the bread goes stale the glutens have tightened up again and become less nutritionally available. Toasting loosens the proteins up again and makes it all nicey-nicey for de tummy.
Sorry for the niche technical language at the end.
Maillard, there is a special place in paradise for you.
Maillard Place would be a funny name for a mansion.
Knowing humanity, it involves either a dare, laziness, desperation, an accident or pigheaded stuberness, and usually a combination of those.
Perhaps someone smoked some smelly herbs and the only available thing to eat afterwards happened to be stale bread and butter.
I guess that’d technically qualify as an accident. A happy accident, if you will.
deleted by creator
Now french it
John Toast invented toast in 1439 when he tried to cook bread twice.
I don’t enough about the ways of toast to dispute this. But I kind of love that there was a guy named John Toast that went around cooking shit twice until something stuck.
Sourdough is good. Toasted sourdough is bread’s best life.
I love sourdough because it doesn’t even need butter!
Maillard reaction is pretty awesome
What’s even better, spread mayo on both sides and fry it on a flat top.
I don’t even like mayo but this is the correct way to make a grilled cheese. The mayo is just oil and makes the bread really nice and light and crispy.
And yet, why I dint exactly know, miracle whip doesn’t work nearly as well
A brilliant confluence of skill and purpose!
