I remember freaks getting bent out of shape over TLJ having an asian woman and a woman with pink hair. In a galaxy with aliens with squid tentacles for a face, an asian women just breaks my immersion.
Worse, the feeemale with pink hair bossed a man around!
To be mildly fair her character was basically to be the Girlboss General ™, and her entire plan was “drive straight until we run out of gas and then I dunno”.
Fuck the chuds though. These movies sucked but because they were cheap slop, not because of WOMEN or something
She was terrible, especially her “I’m not telling you my plan for plot reasons and I’ll be dismissive about your concerns and seem like I’m running what’s left of the organization into the ground in a way that outright invites mutiny” approach to leadership.
The usual
hated her because she was in charge and had hair dye.I forgot about that emoji lmao
Yeah one of the worst executed characters Ive ever seen, like just comically hilarious levels of writing yourself into a corner for no reason
Every character was badly written in TLJ.
True, but her being poorly written was one of the main plot points lol
True, but same with Luke tbh.
And everyone hated that too.
Yeah it sucks to hate the same thing as chuds but for non-psychotic reasons.
Unforgivable sin, kill her.
They got even more angry at her cos she crashed the space ship
Abrams has a habit of creating continuity holes that are so gaping and obscene that if they are taken seriously they ruin franchises both after and even before the continuity holes.
One example is magic transporter technology in Trek that makes spaceships kind of pointless if it’s applied on a practical scale.
The other is “why have any kind of weapon except small objects equipped with hyperdrives?”
EDIT: I forgot, the weaponized hyperdrive thing was Rian Johnson’s doing. Abrams just did “THE DEATH STAR, BUT BIGGER” and with one shot of it (and a flashback of a burning building) basically erased everything that the rebels (and Luke) had won in the previous trilogy.
The warp drive seems to be almost instantaneous in the Abrams Star Trek movies, too. In the second one, the Enterprise traveled from Klingon space to the outskirts of Earth in a matter of minutes. In Deep Space Nine, that journey took about ten days.
At that point you wonder why ships in the JJ-verse even need to have multiple crew shifts and sleeping arrangements, if they can zip to whatever planet they like in the time it takes to cook a Pop Tart.
It’s a dumb fun movie and you just need to stop nerding out over things like that. Star Trek was never hard sci-fi, never was.
Star Trek was never hard sci-fi, never was.
Maybe not, but it was always about fairly long journeys of days, weeks, months, even years. Instant travel removes the core of the experience.
Yeah but it always conveyed a sense of time and distance and scale and coherency. Fast-travelling like a video game kind of shits on the “trek” part of the title.
That one isn’t even on Abrams, that’s all at Johnson’s feet.
I’m a TLJ apologist but even I got taken out by how well the hyperspace ram worked. It immediately raised so many worldbuilding questions
Abrams’ local bullshit contribution was “THE DEATH STAR, BUT BIGGER” and with one shot of it (and a flashback of a burning building) basically erased everything that the rebels (and Luke) had won in the previous trilogy.
I should have remembered that; yeah you’re right, Abrams had nothing to do with that particular asspull.
The only way it makes sense is if it’s totally ineffective against shields or something like that, and the FO just happened not to have theirs powered up because they were in such a dominant position.
If I could rewrite TLJ I would completely scrap the “resistance” plot. There’s literally no need for it, you could just say that they’re fighting in the background and occasionally show glimpses of it while the named characters do their things.
I mean, if you want to treat start wars like it’s hard sci-fi, instead of space opera or space fantasy, then there is plenty of hand wavy pseudo science you can come up with to explain why this worked in this one instance.
At the end of the day it’s fucking star wars. It’s fun, but it’s slop too. Just stop thinking about it so much.
It’d be easier to “dae le popcorn dae le turn your brain off” if something in the movie was actually entertaining enough to pay attention to.
I know it’s all subjective, but I thoroughly enjoyed the last Jedi. I thought the ramming scene was spectacular
Poor Laura Dern.
Yeah, she’s great.
Imagine being mad that Laura Dern is on your screen smh
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I refuse to accept this whitewashing that the prequels were actually good. It should be a front half of a horse and then a complete clustefuck from then on out
Most of Star Wars is mid at best. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
spoiler
I still love this stupid franchise, though
It’s ok, I’ll still keep drinking that garbage
They were a mess but at least it was a quotable memeable mess.
The Disney Trilogy was full of forced meme attempts like “THEY FLY NOW!”
Honestly though, almost every quote people remember is from Episode 3, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. That’s the one I have the easiest time giving some amount of credit to. Episode 3 was still not good but I often wonder what it would have been like if we got a full prequel trilogy at that quality.
I can’t argue your point about the Disney Trilogy
Episode III was the best of the prequels and while that isn’t saying much it’s still well ahead of the Disney trilogy on its own.
I used to assume as a kid that something like Episode III would be the start of the prequels.
Also, Sebulba
They were the first star wars movies I watched as a kid and I still love them
It does seem boomeriffic to dismiss the prequels entirely even if they were jank and silly for adults that watched them when they came out.
I highly doubt the Disney trilogy will have kids remember them that fondly, or at all.
if kids could be made nostalgic for the damn Phantom Menace, they can be made nostalgic for the sequel trilogy
At least Phantom Menace was trying to do something original and coherent. It’s a shit execution, but there’s a story in there that doesn’t suck.
It also had podracing. There should be an entire movie or series that’s just about the seedy podracing competitive scene.
All of Star Wars feels like a good story told poorly.
nah, because before you had the prequel movies and like, a show or two of starwars
now they’re drowning in it like with capeshit, I doubt much of it will stick out for them
Maybe, but I have nieces that would be the ideal age for nostalgia for that movie and they seem more interested in remembering Ewoks.
Have you seen the prequels recently? If not I’d genuinely love to hear your report after a rewatch. I think they’re total crsp but as I’ve said before, I don’t think there’s 3 movies I could have more to say about. I’m not totally sure how to touch on it without going into a whole thing. I mostly like the first movie cause I like weird old Sci fi and 70s movies, empire is a great sequel and a better movie for sure, just doesn’t have the personal appeal and I feel about the same as the common man about jedi. Same with the sequels except I’d point out the chemistry between the main characters in force awakens that is never used again, lot of wasted potential trial splitting the 3 mains up all the time. Force Awakens was kinda cool and at leat seemed to be going in a direction and then t wasn’t but there was nothing like Dexter Jettster or Qui Gom Jinn’s aeird nonsensical gambling addiction
Have you seen the prequels recently? If not I’d genuinely love to hear your report after a rewatch.
They’re awkward and bad, but they have a sort of unique awkward badness to them that makes them at least bearable to sit through. In a way, having no expectations on rewatches helped with that.
Fin was done dirty by the Disney sequels; he could have been the real next Luke and if any bad ideas could have been salvaged from Rise of Skywalker, it would be Rey’s easy mode Force powers actually being a dark side temptation with her as something like the final antagonist for Fin to face.
But because of the slapfight between each movie’s “auteurs” nothing of value persisted from movie to movie.
Same. It’s literally just the Ewok Line but in the 90s.
I fear the kids born in the 2010s will be saying the same about the sequels. The difference of course is that I’m objectively correct that the prequels were (not amazing, but) perfectly fine movies while the sequels were utter dogshit.
It’s a mix of nostalgia, backlash to Disney, and the clone wars show retroactively semi-redeeming the prequels
I mean the ninja turtle movies were dogshit but I still loved them as a child and can enjoy watching them now.
Revenge of the Sith’s good. A Phantom Menace is decent, though it has a more childish atmosphere even compared to the rest of the series. Attack of the Clones is mid.
Really, I like the plot of the prequel trilogy but the dialogue writing dropped the ball. I suppose it’s also what made the movies meme masterpieces.
The dead speak! The galaxy has heard a mysterious broadcast.
That’s the purple teal horse ass, right?
“The dead speak!” Was an unintentionally poetic summary of the necromantically uninspired bazinga nostalgia slop that Abrams bumblebucked out for the final Disney Trilogy movie. His first bazinga nostalgia slop portion was also necromantically uninspired but like with “LOST,” he tricked people into thinking it was just the start of something amazing and not just a hype balloon that (of course) required destroying and invalidating everything that came before it because Abrams doesn’t play well with others and likes to bash their stolen toys together until they break.
I maintain that if Rian Johnson had been allowed to finish the sequel trilogy, it would at least have been mid. The third film was so bad in so many ways it reached back in time and made the first two worse.
They probably could have handed it off to any of the slop directors in the Marvel stable and made a better movie than JJ Abrams.
any 1 filmaker would have made a better trilogy, literally any
Okay but replace the butt with a CG horse butt and you’ve nailed it
Okay but replace the butt with a CG horse butt and you’ve nailed it
Ten thousand horse butts because more is always more epic!
Don’t forget the lens flare!
The blue horse should have an immaculate dong out of nowhere for Rogue One and Andor
OT should be a full regular horse, Prequels should be a really crappy hand drawn horse’s ass, sequels look about right.
anyone know a good breadtube that debunks starwars?
You don’t think it really happened?
They don’t want you to know this, but even though so much of Star Wars was set in space, all of the movies were filmed right here on Earth. Every single shot!
mandela effect
“I don’t like this thing, but its important to me that I have Correct Reasons to not like this thing, preferably articulated in someone else’s 2 hour long video essay.”
I don’t mean to mock, I’m also like this, as a professional thing-not-liker.
I just think it’s overrated, and Disney’s trilogy (which I’ve not even seen all of yet lol) is probably further overrated, but I’d like to see what people are saying that isn’t just reply guys circling the drain over who hates WOKE more.
i think she just wants to watch a video essay about something she cares about
Times like this, I really miss Natalie Wynn doing a two hour long, stunningly produced, long form historical break down of why its more like Star Bores.
Tabby was a comrade.
Incredible how she recognized that her entire fan base liked and agreed with Tabby more than they liked our agreed with her actual opinions, and somehow that was not a clue that perhaps she should challenge some of her opinions.
I’ve never watched star wars
I’d say the prequels are the blue shaded horse butt. The sequel trilogy is bad but in a normal way. I couldn’t ever call myself a prequel fan I’m the traditional sense, but I am deeply deeply fascinated by them. Not cause of anything done well, but the sheer auteurship of heat was done badly and how it changed films for the worse in almost an inverse manner to the originals, Lucas’s brain and his relationship to the franchise while making them and a bunch of other stuff. I don’t like them but it’s thebthre movies I’ve thought about bmthe most by a wiiiiiide margin over the last 20 years because they are just absolutely fascinating as insaid before and can’t come up with a better word.
The sequel trilogy is bad but in a normal way.
Rise of Skywalker was special levels of chimeric patchwork bad, overcorrecting for everything that Rian Johnson did in the movie before it.
I still don’t understand how the company whose other studio has been planning out their vast interconnected franchise 10+ years in advance couldn’t think that maybe they should write out the general plot of a whole trilogy beforehand.
The sheer gravitas of the incompetence really pisses me off
Yeah, but in a boring corporate way, which the prequels for sure had some of but they seems down level more from the movies, George just knew he had to include toyetic things, the relationship between marketing and films wasn’t alllll the way to the point of merchandise dictating the entirety of the movies and George Lucas had unfair amounts of clout. It was the artistic vision of a very boring madman and I salute that at the least.
If I had to choose between watching prequels and watching the Disney trilogy, I’d choose the prequels without hesitation, even as bad movies, because there’s something there to observe that stands out. As you say, the Disney trilogy is boring and corporate with puffed up auteur slapfight characteristics explaining the whiplash between each of the three movies.
I have like, an academic interst in the prequels if anything. The content, politics, philosophy and all that and how weirdly bad it was all handled is just an endless source of interest to me. They’re just so fucking weird
I feel the same about Star Citizen as an ongoing 10+ year old accidental performance art piece of bad management and scope creep.
It also deflects from how big of a trek and Babylon 5 nerd I am
the artistic vision of a very boring madman
i don’t think there’s a better way to describe him
Episode IX’s plot is so bad I feel I could write something better, and I’m not even overestimating my abilities - just insulting the writer team’s.
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