Seriously what is up with whining about people bringing their kids shopping. I get that they hate poor people I just would expect them to have more than one thing to talk about

Edit: Even though I enjoy conflict, I guess I’ll add some context here anyway. The usual line I hear as smalltalk is “You don’t have to bring the whole family shopping,” which if you don’t shut it down immediately, will be followed up with some of the most racist and/or classist statements you can imagine, typically involving birth rates

  • Kids don’t belong in public. They’re meant to be stored at home along with all your other property. You exist at home. You exist at work while your kids are in school. All other places require money which kids don’t have because they’re not people yet. This is how society works and therefore how society should be. It doesn’t exist within a broader context so please don’t check.

  • SaniFlush [any, any]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    40
    ·
    1 year ago

    A grocery store is a miserable place to be a child. It’s full of objects scientifically designed to convince people to pick them up and take them, and the kid is not allowed to take them. Plus they have to sit on the hard steel wire basket seat for like 90 minutes, and are surrounded by obnoxiously loud noises.

    Of course, nobody can afford a babysitter and nobody has an extended family, so the kids come with. Even if they are sick. ESPECIALLY if they are sick.

  • impiri@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    39
    ·
    1 year ago

    As a father of two, I can confirm that we train our kids specifically to act out in public. It’s a lot of fun for everyone involved. I, for one, think it’s delightful when my child melts down because the grocery store doesn’t have an item that almost certainly exists only in their mind. It’s just one of the joys of being a Bad Parent™

  • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    unironically.

    saw a video of a scenic area in yunnan with tourists walking around and in each town they had basically a daycare place where you could let your kids play with local kids without them running off while you enjoy the town. and its designed in such a way that its trivial to drop your kids off and pick them up, and appeared to be a communal service. its also good because they get to socialize instead of being bored while the parents go do adult shit

    • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      1 year ago

      China is safe enough that even anti-China westerners let their kids commute to school on busy trains lol. I also saw a video of some night park in the city where it was filled with mostly kids and a couple parents just chatting in the sidelines. People aren’t afraid of someone gunning their kids down and trust each other to protect and watch their community

  • Llituro [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    1 year ago

    I am convinced that the particular rampant nature of childism is at least partly because the atomization in our society ensures that people aren’t around children at all.

  • Tankiedesantski [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    1 year ago

    I was once standing in line at a public library waiting to check out books. Dude at the front of the line was complaining to the librarian that there were kids reading books out loud in the Children’s section. The librarian was doing her best not to roll her eyes at him.

    Some people need to learn how to deal with mild inconvenience in public.

      • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        21
        ·
        1 year ago

        I dunno man, on one hand, I kind of agree with you for the most part, on the other hand, if you’re out in public you should be mindful that it’s not your house and there are people around that may be dealing with shit you don’t know about. People with PTSD and sensory issues gotta shop too.

      • YuccaMan [he/him]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        1 year ago

        I was in a theater once with a woman who brought her toddler into a horror movie, and when the kid predictably started crying, she pulled out her phone and put on baby shark at damn near full volume for them. Some people do need to be less tightaased, but some people also genuinely don’t know how to act in public anymore.

        • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 year ago

          Don’t get me wrong, I’d get theater staff involved at that point

          It’s usually shopping that people talk about - specifically something necessary, boring, and time-sensitive where you’re likely to encounter behavior problems in larger families because it’s a kid-unfriendly environment where most activities are impossible, and the parent is having to divide their attention between all of the kids and shopping

          • YuccaMan [he/him]@hexbear.net
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            1 year ago

            I did, and I hated it. But my girlfriend had been looking forward to that particular movie for a minute, and I didn’t want her night to be ruined. I don’t know that I would’ve done so otherwise, I’m usually too non-confrontational to do anything aside from just tolerating it.

            At any rate, yeah, in situations like a shopping trip or any public place where quiet isn’t an expectation, I don’t really think it can be helped. Some kids are going to act up, it’s a pain in the ass, but it’s understandable, and most people really have no choice but to bring their kids everywhere. I’ll admit to grousing about it whenever I run into noisy kids in public, but I used to be just the same at their age. Probably worse. It’d be hypocritical of us to forget how annoying we used to be.

            • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              Yeah, that does suck. I’m really confused over why anyone would want to stay in a movie theater to comfort a baby in the first place

              Hey, no shame in grousing so long as you don’t fundamentally oppose pro-child methods for making it not have to be that way

              • YuccaMan [he/him]@hexbear.net
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                edit-2
                1 year ago

                Lord only knows. Even in the moment I was trying to be empathetic though. I don’t recall the particulars, but I overheard her conversing with a guy she’d brought (she was in the row directly in front of us, which kinda made the whole thing worse lol) and it sounded like her life was pretty screwy. The poor thing probably has a hard time getting out.

                Oh hell yeah. I feel that anybody who feels strongly about it should support things like universal childcare, if not for the million and one reasons that that’s a good and proper thing to do, than at least because it demonstrates genuine principles to put your money where your mouth is.

  • TupamarosShakur [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I think there’s like a ton of things going on when people say they hate noisy kids out in public. I think there are those for whom “noisy” is just shorthand for reckless, inappropriate, obnoxious behavior. Which, like, is annoying, and there are absolutely those parents who don’t teach their kids how to act respectfully in public (and often the kids are just imitating their parents who themselves never learned to act respectfully in public) and let them run wild. Or it’s teenagers who, like, it annoys me but also I did some shithead stuff when I was a teen so I can’t really talk.

    But there are also definitely people who legitimately hate children unless they’re silent and only spoke when spoken to, that sort of thing. My aunt is like this, it’s shit.

    Also there are some things that really annoy me, like babies crying in public, but just because it annoys me, what am I gonna do, ban babies in public? That’s stupid. I mean we do live in a society so you have to expect some minor annoyances when in public, and also most parents realize how disruptive and annoying that is and are usually pretty embarrassed and try hard to get their baby to calm down, so like, we’re on the same page pretty much. Not a big deal.

    • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      1 year ago

      people who legitimately hate children unless they’re silent and only spoke when spoken to

      Oof. I’ve only met one person who openly said that kids should only speak when spoken to, and he was a monster to every member of his household

  • coffeekomrade@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    1 year ago

    Yeah I couldn’t imagine why people wouldn’t like going grocery shopping while someone’s kid is running around, screaming and pulling things off shelves. Must be because they hate poor people.

  • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    What the hell is wrong with bringing kids with to the grocery store? Hell here in South Africa some of the shopping carts even have full on baby car seats attached to them, and most of the larger carts/trolleys have a fold out kids seat. It’s perfectly normal to bring your kids with. Do people really moan about that?

    Are people really so atomised in the USA that seeing kids exist in the real world freaks them out?

    • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      1 year ago

      The childcare part is what gives the game away. Everyone I know with sensory issues that they acknowledge will rightfully complain about stuff triggering it, but they frame it experientially and they’re never the ones making this particular complaint

      The folks making this complaint in person to me have been, without a single exception, trying to use it as an inroad to talk about birth rates. Those fuckers hate universal childcare

      • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Seriously though why would we prioritize a few with sensory issues over children spending time with their parents. That makes zero sense.

        • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 year ago

          I’m not saying “ban children from stores.” They’re the most entertaining part of shopping, for one thing. I’m saying there would be far, far fewer meltdowns if parents had a choice in whether or not to force a kid to follow them through walmart

          As it stands, bringing the whole family shopping is the only option for a lot of people. This is fine if the whole family is okay with it, but can cause problems if one or more of the kids doesn’t feel up to it. Since grocery shopping can be very time-sensitive and has no acceptable activities for kids, it’s generally an unpleasant surprise at best for them

          Give parents access to nearby free, safe, supervised places for their kids to play and that (plus so much more) becomes a non-issue. If a kid’s dreading Walmart, just let them do something kid-friendly. If not, then there’s no reason not to bring them along

  • rake_in_lake [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    1 year ago

    It is very weird how amerikkka is alienated from children. Most adults don’t interact with or even see children regularly unless they have children or work in child care. It’s really sad how such a fundamental part of existence is so cordoned off both for the children not being able to see and be part of their whole world and for the adults missing out on the sense of community and humanity that comes from dealing with both the good and the bad about children. The system behind this dehumanized structure is obviously capitalism. I’d encourage any comrades to let go of any unnecessary boundaries between adult and child spaces and embrace more humanity.

    • TraumaDumpling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      i agree to an extent but me and my friends constantly smoke weed, plus my house/room has far too many small and fragile and sharp things around to be a child safe place. its the same reason i don’t have pets even though i don’t dislike them, i just couldn’t trust them around my models and miniatures (plus most of my family is allergic). there do need to be some amount of exclusively adult and exclusively (probably with oversight) child spaces imo, but probably to a lesser degree than the status quo in many places.

      • rake_in_lake [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        1 year ago

        Sure your personal space is yours to define, my concern is with how society perceives shared spaces. And for those shared spaces there’s already an expectation (especially from comrades) of things like public safety, consideration for differently abled people, elderly persons. We should not limit those considerations away from the expectation children will be there and have their own unique needs, including social understanding for their lack of ability to fully self regulate , and that we can pay into a community that accepts and shares that cost same as we would encourage community to share and accept all sorts of other social costs.

    • Occamsrazer@lemdro.id
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      It depends on the area you live. You get a little further from the cities and there is a very normal mix of families wherever you go and consequently much less of the type of judgement being discussed in this thread. Cities tend to collect single people or people without kids, and frankly, raising kids in an urban setting is much more challenging so fewer people do it or they move out when they start a family.