My husband of 17 years is a judge. Recently multiple people have come out publicly with their stories about my husband because all the complaints they have filed with the Council which deals with this have been ignored throughout the years - no investigation opened. My husband has always kept me in the dark about his work - finances, so let’s just say I have my reasons to believe the allegations. The most horrific one I’ve heard is my husband ruled that a 12-year-old consented to having sex with an adult (legal age of consent at the time was 15 in our country), so there was no conviction. The accused in this trial was wealthy. I didn’t know about this until now. Frankly I’m completely disgusted with him.
People who last 17 years do, in fact, leave their partners if the trust is irrevocably broken and the love is lost entirely. It seems more likely you took my statement of leave, and applied a meme to it and then hopped up on a fairly high horse. My advice is based on a couple decades of adult relationships and life. From reading the post, this is not a ‘oh we can work on it and figure this out together’ situation. This reads very much like a ‘this person may actually be dangerous in the long run’. In which case yeah pack a fucking bag and call your lawyer. Your comment, while antagonistic and condescending, was also naive and immature.
The fact that they’re asking Lemmy if they would see their partner the same way again indicates that it’s not past the point of no return yet. After your clarification I agree with you. When it is beyond repair, it is better to leave sooner, rather than later. But someone you promised to stay with until one of you dies, someone you’ve built a life with, and placed all of your hopes and future with, deserves the effort of trying to fix it before calling it completely broken. You deserve that too. People who are truly in love, emotionally and mentally mature, and honest & willing can work through a lot. That said, I’ll repeat that I agree with you that the relationship is over if the trust is irrevocably broken and the love is lost. It can be difficult to determine when that point is hit though, so there’s usually still some fight left in the relationship even when they’ve crossed that line.