I’ve been doing this for some time now. Even if it’s something that I consider important.
I just don’t see the value in participating in a discussion that I have seen countless times already where the same points and arguments happen over and over again. One that I know wilI turn ugly. It’s exhausting and I’ve decided to just opt-out.
deleted by creator
Yeah on another community there is a single user who tends to say stupid stuff just to entice a hell thread I started arguing with them once I realized that there was no further need for the conversation I had won because they started calling me a liar I just block them and went about my day
Yes. Especially Lemmy. People here love turning a discussion into an argument on shit they don’t know much about. Subsequently some of the most brazen and obvious strawmanning, wild out of field assumptions, and gaslighting I’ve seen online—usually with a lot of not reading full comments or disregarding context or 90% of the comment in general. You can constantly call them out on it and try to direct discourse back onto topic instead, but it’s almost always futile. For them, it was only ever a competition of feeling superiority of some kind.
I’ve never seen anything quite like it online. Reddit was mild in comparison.
So glad to see that others are noticing this too… The hive mind effect also feels even stronger than it used to on Reddit, probably because the audience here is less diverse.
Without knowing the data, I’m pretty sure I’m politically and ideologically quite aligned with much of Lemmy’s overall user base. Still, often when I point out misinformation or misconceptions even if they “don’t fit the narrative” of what I broadly believe, I get downvoted without anyone even responding with a counter argument. It’s extra frustrating because I know I probably agree with the opinions of those people downvoting me, it’s just that I believe there’s more nuance to many topics that I would like to discuss, but unfortunately the Lemmy audience acts as if everything is a black & white situation.
This. I am a leftist, but not the kind who thinks Lenin’s self serving ideas translate very well into the modern world. Which in Lemmy terms, apparently makes me a fascist.
More recently I seem to just be a marked man anywhere on .ml, after questioning some seriously petty moderating decisions.
When you’re somewhere whose TLD is “Marxist-Lennism” (or some other conjugation thereof), then of course you’d be targetted for being an outsider unless you’re literally communist, lol
Lemmy is honestly a pretty awful intersection of censorship and extremism. Reddit is shit because of the monetization push, but Lemmy is honestly far worse when it comes to just normal discussion being randomly removed for stepping outside a very particular orthodoxy.
I disagree. The thing about Lemmy is that if you don’t like a specific instance, you can just block it. I spend most of my time in the danish instance feddit.dk and there we have plenty of debates and discussion. I think the beauty of Lemmy is that it no echochamber can reach beyond a specific instance. So yes, there may be extremist instances, but I just don’t go there. I stay where the debates are sound and in good faith.
As admitted by some, Lemmy is a haven for outcasts who are insecure and in need of some sort of validation. They’re clingy about the things that provide it and touchy about things that threatens it, thus projecting an intensity in their interactions.
I see it as coping with helplessly living within an unfair reality. We need more zen in our lives.
Yep, I have written huge comments on my phone, only to hit cancel when I realize that I don’t have the energy to deal with it.
my new year’s resolution this year was stop wasting time replying to dumbasses online
it’s not going very well but it’s the thought that counts. we’ll get em next year
Yeah. Why argue with cunts?
Or worse yet, Americans.
Usually in online arguments I don’t expect to convince the person I’m arguing with, but to show anyone else reading the thread that an opposing opinion exists. But that said, sometimes I simply don’t engage if I don’t have the energy.
I do appreciate posts like those.
My objective when I look through a comment thread, especially in a topic I don’t know much about, I’m looking for the well reasoned posts. I admit I’m a human (confirmed via captchas) and love to have my opinions validated, but I also like to read a different take on a situation or issue. And because I am not in a situation where I don’t feel like I have to defend my opinion I’m more open to seeing a different perspective.
So thank you for taking the time to write those out - and to others that do that thank you as well.
This! You can never “win” or get the last word, but you can get the other person to show how bad their arguments are. You just have to trust that others will decide on what is right correctly.
In the middle of my third paragraph I deleted most of this comment and reminded myself, my perspective is not needed.
I think meal prepping sucks donkey balls and most food that is meal prepped tastes like crap after its sat in the fridge/freezer. I have been personally attacked on more than one occasion for bringing this up so I just don’t anymore.
Same here when it comes to food/taste. I criticised vegan mortadella(mostly water and oil) at some point and people absolutely lost it. Got some angry DMs by vegans explaining the concept of enjoyment to me. Not doing that again.
I’ve met some very kind vegans in real life, but the ones online can be downright vicious.
It cannot be healthy for a person to be that angry all the time. Sorry you experienced that and don’t blame you for avoiding it now. People go absolutely insane over weird stuff, especially food related topics. It’s weird how much folks stress themselves out over what others are eating/not eating/how their eating it.
Veganism itself is honestly a bit of a cult. In many ways it is an extremist moral position which actually takes on some pretty unhealthy habits just in case fish have feelings.
Huh, I freeze containers of big batches of curries, gumbo, even pastas all the time and they’re still great months and months later.
It really helps choosing the things that work best to freeze. For example chicken breasts suck when reheated, it’s the nature of the cut of meat. It’s so easy to dry out chicken breast. Additionally, I never freeze starches unless they are “drowned” in sauce. Freezing a bunch of fries is not going to lead to a nice meal later but freezing a stew which has potatoes in it works. Minced meat is very forgiving, same too with chicken thighs, drumsticks. Anything with a higher fat content and already has sauce.
Good Examples: I’ll freeze Bolognese sauce, no pasta. Cook the pasta on the day. Curries without rice. Stews. Soups. All of these with fattier cuts of meat and with sauce covering the food. Maybe it protects it. All of these can even taste better from the freezer somehow.
Bad examples: lean steak, pork chops, vegetables. Essentially, anything which has to be cooked almost perfectly to be good. Fresh fruits are gonna suck texturally also but they will be absolutely perfect in smoothies, sauces, syrups etc.
People perceive food very differently. Reheated food tends to have very different texture than fresh, which some people don’t mind (or even prefer), especially people who grow up eating lots of frozen food and leftovers.
See I grew up eating a lot of frozen stuff and I think that’s why I don’t like it. But you’re right it’s totally a matter of opinion. I also really enjoy cooking so that helps.
All food or just some food? I’d agree with the latter but not the former
I think most foods. Soup, stew, and some sauces I’m fine with reheated/leftover. I still think it changes the flavor though and for sure screws with the texture. Air fryer/convection ovens make some things okay to reheat but again still screws with flavor/texture. I personally just would rather make meals fresh.
Some people just prefer meal prepping and that’s fine. There’s also a fairly sizable contingent of people that if you asked them if they could just take a pill instead of eating they would be perfectly happy doing so. It’s just not for me. I personally really like to cook and I also enjoy eating the things I cook. So I’m kind of on the other side of that spectrum.
If the question is open, e.g. “do you like apples?” and the question is in my area of interest, I usually give an answer. But if the question assumes an answer or is deliberately polarizing, e.g. “why don’t you like apples?” I pass.
You know who else liked apples? Hitler. Coincidence? No.
How do you like dem apples?
As bottom jeans
Don’t forget the boots with the fur.
Coincidence? No.
Of course it’s not a coincidence. Everyone likes apples. If you disagree it obviously means you’re lying because everyone likes apples.
Everyone is Hitler?
That’s a great point! Not what I was driving at but the logic makes sense to me…
Secretly
I made this same decision for myself explicitly just a few days ago. It’s just bad for my mental health to constantly be arguing with people online, especially with how easily online discussions turn sour in tone. It’s so incredibly rare to have an actual fulfilling discussion where both sides are open to having their minds changed, and thus there’s really no point to it.
IDF and Hamas in the context of warfare.
I just have an interest in modern conflicts, but there’s usually a humanitarian crisis that I don’t want to overshadow and or discredit.
Most people here (afaik) aren’t part of combat communities so there’s no point talking about strategy or objectives unless it has an impact on the broader issue.
That kinda sucks. I’m an odd one myself in that I’m extremely interested in history and as an extension war since it has been a huge part in shaping… Everything. I am simultaneously very anti war politically because of the horrors of course but I do also want to think about strategies etc. Are there any good communities that discuss this without just descending into who’s side people should be on. For example I’m on Ukraine side but I can totally enjoy thinking about the question “what do Russia need to achieve to take region X, why is it important to them, what’s the timeframe and what equipment is needed”. I have read/watched plenty about war strategies up to WW2, maybe a bit of Vietnam etc. Nothing modern really.
Lemmy when Stalin starves ten million Ukrainians: 🙈
Lemmy when Mao starves ten million Chinese: 🙉
I just have an interest in modern conflicts
Are you the US government?
Yes and I’ve largely opted out of the same conversations irl too, for my own mental health I have to check out of certain conversations
Absolutely. Not even just online, but IRL too.
I’m a software engineer that works on tech that’s extremely contentious in public discourse. Most people have pretty negative assumptions about myself and my work to the point that I hate talking about it. Even most people in my industry can be a bit insufferable. So I’d rather just keep my mouth shut and keep doing my own thing.
I’m a massive Doctor Who fan and discourse surrounding it has been ‘difficult’ for the last few years. As the quality of the show has varied, some fans have denounced more recent series, and others have become angry that they don’t enjoy the same things as they do. At the end of the day we’re all fans of Doctor Who, we just can’t agree what Doctor Who is, but I think we should accept that and all let each other enjoy the Doctor Who we want to.
In my industry, people can get very toxic really quickly over minor details. I’ve decided quite a few times to just let things go, even if they are blatantly wrong.
You end up in a situation where the person on the other end really just does not want to drop it, has to “win” no matter what. Even if the subject in itself was something you went to school learning/writing a paper on.
The people that need to “win” drive me crazy. It’s not enough to them if you concede on some points, it’s not enough if you agree to disagree, they just have to be right 100%, and you realize they won’t be happy unless you say “Sorry, I was wrong and you were right.” and bow to their superior intelligence.
I’ve made the mistake of engaging with people like this before and it was a nightmare. Like you said, they wouldn’t just drop it, even after I explicitly said “Sorry, but we are going in circles here, we should just end it.” after an hour long discussion, where they could’ve easily taken their “W” from me walking away.
I get the distinct impression that some people are simply unable to concieve of a perspective different from their own. For lack of a better comparison, it’s like those Christian movies where everyone, including the atheist, openly believes God exists, but the atheist chooses to be an atheist out of spite or malice or whatever. So for some, disagreement is at best you being a troll or shill or bot, and at worst a frontal attack at their entire conception of the world.
