i think this metaphor is close, but not quite. being honest, nice, friendly is like the bread of the sandwich, not the pickles. you can’t have a sandwich without the bread- but very occasionally, sometimes, you wanna just reach in and just grab some meat and cheese
This is absolutely something I struggled with. My field is healthcare, and I felt and continue to feel presenting masculine is the safest option. Even if not traditionally masculine (i have my nails done a really pretty purpleblack right now, and am known to braid some of my coworkers hair), the ability to just… exist unbothered as a man is extremely useful.
a few of them know me as trans, but it’s also nice to be a bit choosy.
The advantage of being unable to pass as a cis woman means it’s still possible to retain your male privilege, and while i’d happily make that trade- it’s not something in my power to do right now.
My goals primarily are to feel comfortable and safe in my own skin. Amongst my friends, and even like… bystanders in the grocery store, that means being a woman. Amongst my coworkers however, i unfortunately feel more comfortable as a man; for me… the dysphoria isn’t as bad as the bigotry. But it’s a decision you’ll have to make for yourself
commenting to save for later, maybe I’ll post some stuff. this is one of the last things i hate about myself so it’d be nice to finally squash it