Isn’t the entire point of the profile and matching system to filter incompatible people out? Why can I match with 50 people and not a single one wants to get a coffee or something after exchanging a few pleasantries? Everybody hates these things and yet they refuse to do anything IRL to get off them. Is there some Manchurian candidate activation codeword that I’m missing? I feel like everyone treats this shit solely as an ego booster and actually gets pissed off that anyone tries to interact with them. How do you meet people in hellworld if you don’t drink?
Me after dozens of dead-end back-and-forths that lead to nowhere despite having shared interests and presumably being attracted to each other since we matched: 
Hmm, maybe it’s the extreme commodification of relationships and atomization under capitalism that prevents you from getting anywhere with this garbage 
Nope, must be because @[email protected] didn’t say my favorite “The Office” quote and send me a playlist with 50 of the greatest songs I’ve never heard that made me instantly fall in love with them. I have no idea what other people expect from these things but I’m not doing labor for someone that I don’t even know is real. Thanks for reading my rant, any advice is appreciated.
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Dating apps don’t want people to form relationships for the same reason pharmaceutical companies don’t want to cure diseases. They just want a temporary, hopefully addictive, treatment for loneliness not a remedy
They didn’t start that way but as they refined their software and really honed in on profitability, the failure to connect people that might actually be happy together long-term became intentional for repeat business.
If only we had places where people could commune with each other without paying money
Just going to walk around the library in a book costume asking people if they want to check me out
Yeah, ok
It’ll work on someone
It’s a miserable experience. After years of trying I only ever managed to meet up with one person I thought I had in-person chemistry with. At the end of the date she gave me her number unprompted. Then she unmatched me and I never saw or heard from her again
People use dating apps with the expectation it’ll just find the perfect person of their dreams. In reality it matches strangers with no connection outside of vague attraction.
Relationships just aren’t built that way they’re done through shared experiences.
Anyway i quite literally ended up pseudo automating the dating apps at one point and if a meetup wasn’t agreed within x messages I’d move on. Then I gave up and ended up dating someone i knew irl for like 8 years.
Most people i know with successful relationships weree matchmade by friend groups or met playing an mmo or some other common interest.
It’s funny, the only time a dating app match actually whether anywhere for me was when I matched with someone I was already friends with from work. Didn’t last too long but it was cool because I already had a foundation to work off of instead of having to awkwardly message a stranger.
Anyway I’ve realized I need more friends. I just struggle to meet new people. I do have a few friends but they’ve never really tried to set me up with anyone so I’m kind of stuck right now.
No, they deliberately get in the way of you matching with the most compatible people unless you pay for “premium” features that used to be core functionality
I’m just a few weeks into this hell and probably going to be done with it soon. I need to find some events to go to that aren’t centered on drinking. Then I just have to wrangle with my crippling social anxiety.
I’ll be frank as a person that has been on dating websites before they were apps… people often go on them for small validation and then realize they have no time to meet others when they have to prep for work. It’s gotten worse after covid lockdowns.
I’m on Grindr and Feeld mostly and Hinge sometimes. I’m mostly looking for casual sex buddies and not relationships.
I’m not gonna say the “it’s not you it’s me” line nor its inverse. Because the honest answer is: it’s not us, it’s capitalism.
I’ve had to cancel so many times on people because I sometimes get home too tired to move after work. And have had people cancel as well. Nobody admits that fatigue but it’s understood.
And keep in mind I’m queer, bi, relatively attractive and literally looking to hand out blowjobs. Sometimes people are too tired to even get their dicks sucked
So don’t think you’re doing things completely wrong. The hellscape makes it hard to meet new people.
Sometimes people are too tired to even get their dicks sucked
the greatest indictment of our economic system
