I bought a switch because I wanted to fit in with everyone else and play party games with friends (fuck family). I played Mario party and I had a good time, it was fun and the RNG was great I had never in my life played a game where it didn’t matter how well you did it could all fuck up at the end which happened MULTIPLE times. I don’t know why I bought a switch because I realized later I could have just purchased the joy remotes for a disgusting 70 dollars but instead I went to my friends house like a fucking doofus showing up with a Nintendo switch under my arm and the device literally dropping onto the floor after it came loose from the dick. “You don’t need to use yours” my friend laughed “we just need one” are you fucking kidding me? “Then why the fuck did you tell me to get one?” Mood changed instantly, not my fault.
I wasn’t having fun at all, I was just thinking “I spent 300 dollars on this piece of shit, that’s 4 grocery shopping days, that’s more clothes, that’s this that whatever anything but this piece of filth Nintendo switch you fucking losers go soy over. So every time it’s my turn I angrily play and I make sure people know I’m angry, it got to a point I rolled so poorly I threw my joycon and left the couch, everyone went quiet but I didn’t give a fuck. One of my friends who has a romantic interest in me (not reciprocated) started rubbing me on my back, “bad day?” They said and I just felt even more angry but this time the anger was directed towards them. “I know you like me but I don’t like you” I said, they cried, left, don’t care, I spent 300 dollars on a piece of shit I’m never going to use.
None of my friends know how to navigate around me so it always feels like they’re hostages trying to ease their way out of the situation where they have a gun pointed at them, it’s pretty selfish of them considering I was the hostage and they were the shooters shooting me with “buy switch” or “Zelda is a good game it’s just like dark souls” or “get one it’ll improve your mood” has it fucking really? Has it improved my mood? What would improve my mood would be if someone paid me 300 dollars to piss shit and set the switch on fire and then throw it at someone playing happily’s head, that would improve my mood. Instead I have to use my adult fingers to navigate around a tiny ass “controller” it’s a fucking joke, just to have fun… your idea of “fun.”
I get Zelda because if it wasn’t clear already I am a dickhead, “it’s like dark souls” that one prick told me, wrong, nothing like dark souls why did I listen to this prick? My life is like dark souls because I have people laughing and lying at me, I’m always losing my SOULS because some MERCHANT “”friends”” tells me to buy this item because it will improve my VITALITY what a load of bullshit. Zelda sucks it looks like a unity project some kid made on the school computers, the story is literally “we repackaged the first game and sold it to you again because you are a loser and keep paying us money.” Tale as old as time for all Nintendo games tbh, smash, Metroid, Mario, Mario kart, sonic, Zelda, insufferable pokemon. I see a lot of people on hexbear talk shit about funko pops as they should, but the moment you condemn pokemon they go off on you like you killed their family. What the fuck, really?
I’ll give it away
based great post melina
last good thing nintendo ever did was the gamecube
Lmao I’m old enough to remember when the Gamecube came out and people were saying the same thing but about the Snes
Cube had a carry handle so you could takenit to your friends house if you had them or hit your sibling(s) with it if you had them too
BS. The DS and 3DS are 🔥.
ok zoomer let’s get you to bed
DS and 3DS were millenial things you fucking gen x geriatric
ok grandpa no reason to over exert yourself
DS was good, but the 3DS saw the switch to the soulless 3D mobile phone ascetic that dominates low end gaming now.
The 3DS is the 3 Dark Souls of Nintendos.
hot but obviously correct take: hardware doesn’t matter, only games do and nintendo has never made more consistently good games than right now
and the best part is: you can just steal and emulate all of them
My last great victory in life was against the Omega Pirate in Metroid Prime hard mode.
I dunno Wii sports was pretty great and Twilight Princess was way better looking on Wii than gamecube.
The GameCube was hampered by using those stupidly small minidiscs instead of DVDs. The discs had less storage space than the PSP discs.
I hated the damn gamecube. Under powered and the most annoying thing to put in a backpack to take to a sleepover at a friends and all for no reason other than the gimmick of it being a cube. Don’t get me started on their stupid ass tiny disks that youd have to buy a nintendo disk case for cause no normal person had a mini cd case. N64 was last good console and SP was last good nintendo handheld.
The power with the GameCube wasn’t the problem, it was the mini discs/CDs. The GameCube was technically more powerful than the PlayStation 2. But due to the insufficient storage space on the discs, textures were compressed to hell and back with DXT1 compression artifacts and 8 bit colour compression. Soundtracks were cut, especially on third party games. Which meant that all the third party games looked the worst on the GameCube, because the textures consisted of 5 pixels total lol. And the songs and background music was randomly spliced and cut, along with being heavily compressed.
I know this because I did texture modding for GameCube and PlayStation 2 emulation.
Thats both very interesting and infuriating. So if they just used normal disks nintendo may have not gotten the reputation of caring less about graphics and that could have impacted their future console decisions. For better or worse.
The thing is first party Nintendo exclusives still had really high quality textures on the GameCube (due to optimisation of texture compression and decompression), just playing Wind Waker will show that off. It was all the third party games that got affected really badly in the texture department, because it would be way too much effort to redesign the entire game for the GameCube. Especially racing games. Audio was the big area where both first party and third party games suffered, the audio chip on GameCube was slow, and when combined with the storage requirements, it was a big problem.