Finally, someone said it. On a scale, marriage is practically parasitical to the extent where men are culturally discouraged from taking care of themselves because they can always turn their gf/wife into ‘the help’ and do all the shitty work they think they’re too good for. It’s even worse if you’re like me and of descent. Nothing like getting called gay by a cousin for helping out with cleaning up during the holidays (I mean he’s half-right , but still.)
Not to defend men too much, but that can also be explained by needing pull crazy overtime so you can actually financially support a family. Your ability to do housework decreases because you are physically not at home as much.
It’s also explained by the men feeling more secure since a child ties the couple together in a way that marriage alone doesn’t, so this gets exploited by making less of an effort. Motherhood being used to effect traditional and unequal gender roles.
During the holidays I’d ask the women if they need me to do anything. They tell me no, I don’t know how to do anything. Then I turn around and their husbands are nowhere near the kitchen and just drinking and watching football in the living room.
If someone tells you not to do anything, just pick up a hand towel and start drying dishes or cleaning used kitchen workspaces.
Some men will offer to help and then do a task so badly they’ll never be asked again, so you might need to demonstrate a basic level of competence first.
Nah my mom rarely lets me do anything even when I was a kid lol. So yeah, I don’t know how to do shit, but no one seems to give me any tasks outside of “put dishes in the table” and it never progresses
“How can I help?” is the golden phrase. It implies you’re going to help (it isn’t asking if you can help) but it allows that you helping might just be staying out of the way. If it’s that, stay out of the way but watch and learn, or provide emotional support by hanging out while someone else does the thing.
Finally, someone said it. On a scale, marriage is practically parasitical to the extent where men are culturally discouraged from taking care of themselves because they can always turn their gf/wife into ‘the help’ and do all the shitty work they think they’re too good for. It’s even worse if you’re like me and of
descent. Nothing like getting called gay by a cousin for helping out with cleaning up during the holidays (I mean he’s half-right 
, but still.)
Little depressed me more than learning the amount of housework the average husband does actually decreases after the first child is born.
Not to defend men too much, but that can also be explained by needing pull crazy overtime so you can actually financially support a family. Your ability to do housework decreases because you are physically not at home as much.
It’s also explained by the men feeling more secure since a child ties the couple together in a way that marriage alone doesn’t, so this gets exploited by making less of an effort. Motherhood being used to effect traditional and unequal gender roles.
During the holidays I’d ask the women if they need me to do anything. They tell me no, I don’t know how to do anything. Then I turn around and their husbands are nowhere near the kitchen and just drinking and watching football in the living room.
If someone tells you not to do anything, just pick up a hand towel and start drying dishes or cleaning used kitchen workspaces.
Some men will offer to help and then do a task so badly they’ll never be asked again, so you might need to demonstrate a basic level of competence first.
Nah my mom rarely lets me do anything even when I was a kid lol. So yeah, I don’t know how to do shit, but no one seems to give me any tasks outside of “put dishes in the table” and it never progresses
Oh yeah, my mom was the same.
I left home at 16 and haven’t spoken to her in decades. Honestly a great deal happier.
“How can I help?” is the golden phrase. It implies you’re going to help (it isn’t asking if you can help) but it allows that you helping might just be staying out of the way. If it’s that, stay out of the way but watch and learn, or provide emotional support by hanging out while someone else does the thing.
I don’t want to womansplain to you. But women HAVE been saying this shit since the written language, it’s like half of feminist literature.