• Cyberflunk@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    50 years old, had a single best friend for nearly 38 years. My only continuous friend throughout my life.

    I got together with a girl from our mutual past, and found out he groomed and molested her for years.

    Confronted him about it and he turned into a completely different person. Absolutely destroyed our decades-long friendship.

    I have a few friends, but no one I could call with a real problem.

    • YⓄ乙 OP
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      7 months ago

      Wtf! Thats sad af. Human beings are the worst

    • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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      7 months ago

      That sucks. I had a good, long time friend (M) who married another friend of mine (F). Their marriage was short lived. When I found out he had been abusing her, I cut ties with him. Haven’t talked to him since and don’t plan to. I hope he gets his life together but to me he’s just a shit bag who beat his wife. I refuse to be friends with people who treat others like that.

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Pretty much just my wife. I have some great friends from high school, but we only get together every other year or so.

    • YⓄ乙 OP
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      7 months ago

      Yea same…for me I moved to Australia for work and now we only chat over signal. I miss the good ol’ days. hate being a grown up :'(

    • YⓄ乙 OP
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      7 months ago

      Its alright mate. Most of our adult life is the same. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

  • CIA_Chatbot@normalcity.life
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    7 months ago

    Haven’t seen the movie, but I have a best friend. We dated for a short period, but ended up becoming best friends a month later. The real irony, we ended up discovering we have a ton in common and we’re even dating people that are almost identical.

    It’s strange, unless this situation is more common place than I was aware?

    • YⓄ乙 OP
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      7 months ago

      Thats pretty cool. Hope you’re friendship last forever. Even after you find a partner, get married and have kids.

  • neomachino@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    I don’t even have any regular friends and wouldn’t even begin to know how to make one.

    I used to have a lot of friends, then I got clean.

    I’m just not good at talking in that perspective. I can talk about specific topics but seem to lack the ability for small talk that making friends seems to require. In the past 6 years I thought I made a friend once, we worked together for a while and would talk a couple times a day, I was a little more advanced in my career so I would often help her with projects/teach her stuff, I even opened up a bit and let out my weird thoughts occasionally. It was good, then one day she just stopped responding.

    I’m very content with having my wife and son as my best friends, but an actual friend would be nice.

  • Fondots@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    I’m 32, I’ve never really been one to rank my friends but there’s a few I’d consider to be frontrunners

    I have a guy I’ve been friends with since pre school, we sometimes forget to talk or hang out for months or occasionally years at a time, but always end up picking up right where we left off.

    There’s a handful of friends who I can always hit up to do something and if they’re free they’re always up for an adventure or to lend me a hand with whatever I’m working on.

    There’s of course my wife, which feels like a lame cop-out of an answer because of course my wife is my best friend

    And there’s my dog, which is even more of a kop-out.

    An interesting thing that’s happened this year is that probably about a half dozen people, both people I’d consider to be in the running for best friend, and ones who I wouldn’t necessarily rank that high (not that I don’t like them or think highly of them, just never quite thought of them that way) have told me how much they value my friendship, which I guess means I must be doing something right.

    • YⓄ乙 OP
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      7 months ago

      Do you have any kids ? I heard kids keep you busy so you’ll never feel you need friends.

      • Nate Cox@programming.dev
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        7 months ago

        Kids are indeed a huge time/emotion/frustration sink that eat much of your life, and yet somehow still totally worth it.

        But, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I don’t feel like I need friends. Children are very emotionally rewarding in a certain spectrum, but adult companionship is still a general need.

      • Fondots@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        No kids here, never been my thing.

        The thing with kids keeping you busy is that oftentimes friendships will tend to decay if you aren’t able to keep up with them, and if you put too much time into your kids you may end up as an empty nester 20 or so years down the line having raised your kids to adulthood successfully, only to discover you don’t have any friends left.

        That kind of happened to my dad, I genuinely can’t name anyone that I’d really call his friend. Luckily he’s a bit of an introvert and my mom is sociable enough for the both of them, so I don’t think he’s exactly suffering for it, but it’s weird to think of kind of having to start from scratch at 50+ years old going out and trying to make some friends.

        For my part I do my damnedest to keep my friends with kids in the loop, but it gets hard sometimes, and to make it work I’ve had to drag along far more rugrats on hiking and fishing trips than I ever really cared to.

  • DirigibleProtein
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    7 months ago

    Haven’t seen the movie. (never even heard of it).

    Male, 55, don’t have any friends any more after divorce, COVID lockdowns, and isolation due to cancer treatment destroying my immune system.

    To be honest, it doesn’t really bother me much. I can do what I want, when I want, without having to deal with other people’s schedules and emotional blackmail.

    I’m alone, I’m not lonely

  • jeffw@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    No idea about that movie, but I’d say I have a handful of close friends. As cliche as it sounds, my spouse is my best friend

  • Jackcooper@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Yes. Since I was 8. He moved states at one point which sucked. He’s been there for 8 years and is just now trying to move back north after a bad relationship. Actually that relationship despite her liking me he just kept cutting out everyone. He even started cutting me out. Then when it unraveled I was the one he called and helped him through it. Even then I hedged my bets and played neutral, just repeating back what he said and never giving advice

    Anyways it’s been over 20 years of supporting each other. One toxic relationship ruined it for a bit but he’s someone I will always forgive and support.

  • Varyk@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    I technically do, but it is much more like having a best acquaintance who is not interested in keeping in touch or having meaningful conversations but assumes we are friends forever because we were actual friends at some point.

    It is a bummer.

    And thanks for the movie rec, looks fun, I’ll check it out

    • YⓄ乙 OP
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      7 months ago

      Yea…Its a fun dumb movie. Reminded me of the time when I was young. I had 2 beat friends but now I am not even in touch with them.

  • dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net
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    7 months ago

    I have a few close friends, most of whom I don’t see as often as I’d like.

    Edit: I’m 45.

    • YⓄ乙 OP
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      7 months ago

      I think thats what life is. We have so many friends when we’re teens and when we grow up either we dont have any or if we have any, we dont see them often. I moved to a different country and now I barely talk to my best friend. We both now married and he now has kids to look after.

  • SendMePhotos@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Yeah but like… We talk maybe once a month or every other month or sometimes once every six months. Always got each other’s back in a bind.

    • YⓄ乙 OP
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      7 months ago

      Thats okay bro. Even I dont have any, guess that’s how life is when you grow up

  • arthurpizza@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    First off, loved that movie.

    Secondly, I’m 44 and I have a tight group of friends that I absolutely love. A few weeks ago we had a great camping trip together and we just had an awesome Thanksgiving party last night.

    I’m incredibly lucky. Not everyone has it this good.