• over_clox@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Imagine meeting the phone of your dreams and caressing it lovingly and leaking bodily fluids…

      • over_clox@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        Damn, that reminds me, I should replace my own battery soon. How do you replace human batteries though? 🤔

        • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 year ago

          Idk, I’ve been running on emergency auxiliary power, even diverting power from life support, for years now. Lights are getting dimmer now.

          Obviously I lack a built-in charging capability, so taking the batteries out just means shutting down before replacing them with new ones.

          But others are suggesting cocaine. It supposedly boosts you lithium ions (I assume), and also postpones the memory effect of, em, li-ion batteries.

          • over_clox@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            If you’re running on auxiliary power, you should eat the phone by now and conserve your calories. Make sure to boil your urine though. Stay safe, if you need assistance you can always call [redacted].

            /s